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realtionships with toddlers

(4 Posts)
roseability Mon 01-Sep-08 14:08:53

Does anyone ever feel like they love their toddler more than their toddler loves them?

This does sound a bit petty and immature I know but sometimes I feel like my relationship with DS 2.5 hangs in the balance!

I adore him and try my best to be a good mother. I don't have a good relationship with my adoptive mother and lost my biological mother, so I suppose I have issues.

I did have PN anxiety and had counselling for a while, but I never felt at any point that I didn't love him or regretted having him.

We spend a lot of time together and a lot of those times are fun but I do lose my rag with him sometimes (in the form of screaming rather than smacking/hitting) although I always hug him and tell him I love him afterwards. He is a sensitive wee chap and I worry that these 'bad mother' moments are undoing any good moments and already paving the way for a rocky relationship.

He is very attached to other family members and clings to them rather than me when they are around. He adores his daddy and sometimes I don't get a look in if daddy is around. I fully accept that a lot of this is my own issue/s but I wondered if any of you ever feel like this. I suppose it may be a fear of rejection that I am projecting onto him. I am rambling but having a bad day and just need some reassurrance

Wisknit Mon 01-Sep-08 15:13:36

Are you a SAHM?
My 2.7 month old sits waiting for daddy to come home and then won't come near me. At my Parents' it's all about my Mum: Mama do this, Mama do that. No Mummy, Mama do.
I just take it that he's a welladjusted, secure child who knows I'll love him whatever because I'm always around. I'm sure they all go through this phase. I'd worry more if he was clingy and seemed worried about me leaving.
HTH

freshprincess Mon 01-Sep-08 15:50:42

From his POV you're always there, he doesn't see Daddy as much (I'm assuming) so hence the delight when he is.

It sounds perfectly normal to me and will probably swing round in a couple of months. See the positive side, while he's all over Daddy, you get to have a cup of tea in peace!

kitbit Mon 01-Sep-08 16:10:03

<waves to roseability >
Sounds really normal to me! Lots of little ones seem really fickle like that, especially if they see one parent lots and the other less so, the other parent is suddenly walking on water etc and the first parent is ignored, have had lots of friends describe this!
He sounds like a very secure little chap who is sure of you and your love for him, so is happy to go off and be with others, this is a good thing

If you lose your rag (don't we all) make sure to tell him you were in the wrong (I'm sure you do) and he'll learn that it's not a good idea. APparently kids form relationships and experiences from what they see habitually rather than from one off aberrations, so the odd loss of rag won't make him insecure if he normally gets calm mummy!

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