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How do you actually go about stopping breastfeeding, and co-sleeping, at the time when you are going back to work...

(8 Posts)
MarlaSinger Sat 30-Aug-08 21:00:20

DS 10 months.

I need to stop daytime feeds as back to work in 2 weeks, that is going to be a struggle in itself. Can't and don't want to express at work.

Also tiring of co-sleeping and starting to doubt that it is right for us anymore. It has been truly lovely at times but I want my bed back for DP and I. And DS disturbs me a lot and I think I disturb him. I keep daydreaming that he will sleep through if in his own room.

It sounds simple - stop the feeds, and put the cot in his own room (yet to decorate!) - but it feels so hard.

How do I actually go about it all?

rubles Sat 30-Aug-08 21:30:11

I think I would do it bit by bit, to break it down and make it seem more manageable. First maybe have him in a cot near the bed, but still night feed (although try to limit those if they are very frequent, so he gets used to just being comforted in the night). Then cot in another room but still night feed - setting limits on how often/when he can feed. Then tackle the night feeding if necessary.
Does that sound feasible?
You can do it, and now is probably a good time to try if you are ready. Go on, you won't regret it.

MarlaSinger Sun 31-Aug-08 10:00:21

Thanks, rubles... I have a sidecar cot but DS doesn't really go in it. I think I might try putting him in with the side up tonight, against the bed. For some reason I am a bit scared of this But I know I have to start somewhere - and I do want things to change - I feel like I've done the best I can but I am starting to feel a bit claustrophobic

findtheriver Sun 31-Aug-08 11:44:24

You need to tackle the feeding now if you're going back to work in two weeks. I notice your DS is 10 months, so really shouldnt be a problem at this age. If you really dont want to express, then leave a bottle with the CM/nursery, or if he hasnt had bottles then a cup - many babies go straight to a cup at this age when dropping feeds.
I wouldnt get too worked up about the co-sleeping - if you are having doubts, and want your bad back with your partner then it's time to call it a day. many babies do settle and sleep better alone , that's a simple fact, so dont beat yourself up about it. The idea of all three of you cosily tucked up may seem wonderful, but if the reality is poorer quality sleep for you all, you're doing no one any favours.

onwardandupward Sun 31-Aug-08 13:17:41

Also worth thinking about whether stopping co-sleeping and day time feeds at the same time would be all a bit overwhelming for your baby?

It's quite common when mum goes back to work for baby to want more comfort and more milk at night - getting their mama fill when it's available. Might be worth stopping the daytime feeds and leaving the night alone for a month or two till the day stuff is all settled and comfy?

Might not work for you, but just thought I'd throw it out there smile

MarlaSinger Sun 31-Aug-08 20:39:23

Thanks both

I don't want to stop feeding altogether just yet and am happy for the night feeds to increase for a while as a result of reducing daytime feeds and going back to work - I sort of wish I'd done this sooner so that it didn't coincide but on the other hand I wasn't ready then...

I am a bit nervous about putting the cot side up tonight because DS has been really grizzly today - had a very late nap and is still awake because of it. DP is just going to give him some milk and settle him - if he goes off okay then I'll give it a try, otherwise I'll leave that till tomorrow.

But what if tomorrow becomes the next day, and so on. I wish this didn't worry me so much, or that I could continue co-sleeping, but I just can't. Sigh. It's tough.

TattooedGrrrl Sun 31-Aug-08 21:49:38

good name marla grin

i've recently gone back to work, and my youngest is 10mths too.

with co sleeping, i found doing it bit by bit helped. He'd start in his cot, and when he woke 1st, i'd bring him into bed. Then each night i stretched out the time he went into bed with us- so say the 1st night it was 11pm, the next i wouldn't bring him into bed until 12am, 1am the next night and so on. Now he comes into bed around 4am.

With feeding, i dropped daytime first. I'd breastfeed him in the morning, pack him off with bottles for CMs, then feed him when i got home. (They were ready to burst at this stage!) Then i dropped the morning one, then the night time ones.

It is hard, but if you do things bit by bit, it's less of a shock for you both.

PortAndLemon Sun 31-Aug-08 21:55:23

I never got DS to take a bottle before I went back to work -- wasted much of my last month of maternity leave trying. His first three weeks (approximately) at nursery he would hardly take anything there and would reverse-cycle with night feeds, then it clicked and we never looked back.

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