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My DS1 mortified me today, how should i have handled this one better?

(7 Posts)
mm22bys Fri 29-Aug-08 21:56:24


DS1 is 4, and today we were walking down the street, and came across two older ladies.

First of all DS1 said "hello" to them, which I thought was really sweet.

Next thing, he yelled out "Go away old (something)", not sure what he said next as I cut him off.

I felt completely mortified, and apologised profusely to them.

One of them lives in our street, and I think she has a disabled son who goes to see her once a week, and I just felt so bad for DS, and for me, and how bad we must have both appeared to them.

Generally DS1 is really good, but he was going to see a friend he hasn't seen in a while, so he was really excited, but I was just so embarrassed.

Once we passed them I told him never to say anything like that again, but how should I have handled this, and surely he's not the first 4 year old to mortify his mother?

Heated Fri 29-Aug-08 22:03:45

Ouch, I feel your embarrassment blushsmile - think I have a similarish one on my hands, thankfully she's too unintelligble at the moment.

mm22bys Fri 29-Aug-08 22:08:14

That's kind of what I am hoping for, that they simply didn't catch his words...not that I am hoping they are deaf blush

Heated Fri 29-Aug-08 22:41:23

Think you did the right thing. Maybe later a calm, "I think you hurt that lady's feelings....The one you shouted at....It made her and mummy very sad" and just leave it with him to internalise.

I think my father had a similar chat with me at the same age, when I said something in ringing tones about a bald man on an underground train blushgrin.

MamaMaiasaura Fri 29-Aug-08 22:47:13

My friends dd (same age) had heard some year 6 girls shouting at eachother 'fxxk you fxxk you fxxk you'...

When my friend was queuing at legoland her dd had been asking for her 'dee-dee' but my friend was distracted... so her infuriated ddd shouts at top of voice 'fxxk you, fxxk you, fxxk you I want my dee-dee'.. friend was mortified and promptly said if you are old enough to use words like that you are too old for a dee-dee and you should be paying rent.. to which her dd's face crumpled into tears.

When she told me the story i pmsl as her dd is absolutely gorgeuas angelic looking and i bet all the parents around were tutting away thinking that is the language she is genrally exposed to, which i can vouch for is not the case.

TheNaughtiestGirlIsaMonitor Sat 30-Aug-08 22:35:46

Yikes children. That wasn't really awful though. They will have seen that you were trying to instil manners in to him. That's what older people really look out for I think.

My dc1 met the fat sister of a very slim good friend of mine. Even though they are the same height, with the same face, same colour hair, same voice, same mannerisms, my dc KEPT saying "I can't BELIEEEEEEVE you are sisters".


jvs Sat 30-Aug-08 22:41:26

My son does the 'that lady is fat' thing to me in the street, we had the whole do you not think it would upset you if someone said nasty things to you etc conversation.. now he just says 'i'm not allowed to say your fat am I'
thinking I am fighting a losing battle, so erm no advice really but nice to hear we are not unique!

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