your best advce for the first couple weeks after having your baby?
Dont worry about implementing any kind of routine. You cant spoil your baby or make implementing a routine later difficult. Get a sling and wear him/her everywhere. I found that my dc just didn't cry at all when they were tiny as long as they were in the sling. Out of all the advice I read and was given that was the thing that worked the best for me.
agree with chunky.
CANNOT spoil at this age, hold, carry, feed, cuddle as much as you like.
Get nekkid in bed with your baby.
1) You get to learn your baby
2) It helps establish bfing
3) You can't go anywhere which means you rest!
4) Ignore the house, get someone else to tidy round
5) Sleep when the baby sleeps
6) People are only allowed in if they have full hands, food etc and take away their mess
Chill. I wish I'd relaxed a bit more and just cuddled dd and stayed in bed all day with her and dh.
I was too busy trying to pretend that life could just carry on as it had been before. Er, it can't. But it's so much better.
stay in bed. Easier if its your first - but still worth trying.
Hold them lots - if you need to get out of bed, put baby in a sling.
Make everyone else cook, clean and wait on you
Agree with MarsLady
Try not to worry about anything.
Sleep as much as possible.
If you can't sleep rest.
Eat lots of easy nutritious food.
Eat lots of cake, you've earned it.
Enjoy every scrumptious inch and minute of your beautiful baby.
Don't get up, don't do the house work, don't cook. Just sleep
Sleep. Feed. Sleep. Listen to your body. Limit guests.
Remember you'll probably be feeling up and down because of the hormones, and may possibly act like a bit of a nutter (all perfectly normal ).
Don't worry about a single thing other than recuperating and bonding with your baby.
Enjoy! And if you're struggling, don't bottle it up. It's normal to feel completely loved up and joyous, but it's also normal to feel knocked sideways.
Don't do anything unless you have a very strong urge or it really does need doing! Sleep as much as you can, but don't beat yourself up if you can't - because it does get easier. And get lots of snacks and DVDs in for the first week or so of nights, it makes it much less unpleasant to have a fussy baby attached to you.
Also, be aware that although breastfeeding is natural, it often doesn't come "naturally", so please don't be disheartened if you struggle at first. It's really common for babies to cluster feed in the evening and that's your cue to sit down in a comfy chair and watch TV while someone else waits on you. Get all the help that you can (BFing support groups/BFing counsellors etc.), because if you can crack it, it's fantastic.
Marslady - I agree! Ban unhelpful visitors!! I become fed up of visitor arriving, who expected ME to make them endless cups of tea and coffee while they got to sit down and cuddle my precious baby, maybe I was very unlucky, but not one of them even washed up after themselves.
Put the answer machine on too, nothing worse than the bloody phone ringing when you are having a nap with baby!
And enjoy the early weeks together!
Oh yes - guests. I would recommend a "no visitors without an appointment" policy, and also a "phone 20 minutes before you arrive" policy. I had lovely friends (who had children and so should know better ) ask me if it was OK to visit at 8pm on Monday. How on earth was I supposed to know whether it was OK? As it happened, that was exactly when I was having my first poo and worried about my stitches. Thank goodness they were late!
This time around (I'm expecting #2), we're having an attitude of "all bets are off for the first 6 weeks". If we all survive in one piece, then we will pat ourselves on the back for a good job well down.
Take one day at a time. Whether it's the good ones or the bad ones.
I found putting my brain in neutral quite effective, I don't mean not thinking about practical stuff, but just not worrying about what I should be doing, whats going on outside of my home, or housework and things like that really.
Agree with the whole sleep, feed, cuddling thing, you need to recuperate too and this is the best way for you to do it. And also agree with limiting guests, it can be very tiring.
One more thing: chocolate is gggooooooodddd, and very therapeutic.
If baby isn't here yet, make lots of meals that can be frozen and reheated quickly and easily. You may not have the energy or inclination to cook.
Avoid uninvited guests take the phone off the hook. Have a couple of days to yourselves, resting and enjoying your new family. (my inlaws turned up 2hrs after I left hospital and took every seat leaving me to stand!)
Sleep when your baby sleeps, day or night. Take the phone off the hook during naptimes.
Eat well, pamper yourself, you've been through a lot.
Spend lots of time cuddling your baby and getting to know each other. Skin to skin contact is great.
Forget the housework, very few new mums have tidy clean houses.
It's normal to get the baby blues a few days after you have your baby as your hormones settle down very fast. It doesn't last long. Warn your OH that it might happen and is perfectly normal then give in to your emotions and let it all out.
Most of all, do what you want to do and enjoy your babymoon.
Stay in your PJ's all day, for at least first 10 days. That way visitors treat you more as an invalid (which you're not, but you are recuperating) and are more likely to make the tea themselves and not stay too long.
If at all possible get a cleaner for the first 3 months. I found I got really stressed about the state of the house with all the visitors coming and going. (which was studid BTW, but I can't change me)
I hated staying in bed personally, I only felt up to anything when I'd had a nice hot shower and put proper clothes on.
If you've had a csection and feel ok, take things easy anyway - I didn't and my scar took a whiles longer to heal.
Chocolate digestives are VERY IMPORTANT and you must eat lots of them and drink lots of tea.
Don't worry if you find yourself crying at EVERYTHING eg the bit in the airport in Love, Actually.
If your parents or in-laws want to come and stay, suggest a B+B. Realistically, they will be guests n your house and you or DP will start to do things for them than the other way round. Plus, I was desperate to be left alone with DD, even for a short while.
Look up your local bf group if you're going to bf. They were invaluable to me in the first few weeks.
Oh, and if you are going to bf, yes, they do all feed that frequently. I came to think of it as a unique time with DD and forgot the washing up.
Personally, I did like to get showered and dressed. DP can have the baby for 15 mins and I do feel better when refreshed. It'll give him something definite to do aswell (if you're like me, otherwise pjs totally acceptable).
It's been said and will be said. Sleep when they sleep.
chill out and enjoy it
not too many visitors or any calls/texts
chill out and veg
agree with latrucha that daily shower meant a lot to me
and forget about routine etc -it'll come...just go with flow , ignore h/w food
Don't expect too much.
Keep visitors to a minimum.
Survive on pot noodles if you have to.
Nest like you did when you were pregnant. Have lots of everything in - food, wipes, nappies, so that shopping is the last thing you have to think about. Very good advice to have people give notice of when they are arriving as it might be just when you want to feed or sleep!
Also be sure visitors arrive on time. I got very fed up of people being late as it was always when DD wanted to be fed and I hated having to interrupt her to answer the door.
Easier said than done re leaving housework but if you can be laid back about it, so much the better!
That's about the sum of my advice!
Don't get stressed by visitors, if they want to come, they take you as they find you, or even better, do some washing up or hoover the living room.
Don't do anything. There is absolutely nothing in the world that can't wait a week or two while you get to know your baby.
Look at the baby, marvel in the miracle that you have produced, comment on every bubble that its saliva makes when it is sleeping, watch it sleep, feed... whatever.
Make absolutely no plans at all - you may feel like doing stuff, you may not.
Sleep when you can.
The best thing I found with baby no 3 (didn't think of it on baby no 1!) was to put a photo of the baby on a poster (in plastic sleeve) on the front door - saying MUM AND I ARE FAST ASLEEP - PLEASE CAN YOU CALL BACK ANOTHER TIME WHEN WE WILL BE AWAKE AND PLEASED TO SEE YOU! This way friends calling on the off chance got to see a photo of the new arrival and understood that the time they chose to "pop" round wasn't quite the right time. Many relatives came by several times and their perseverance paid off in the end.
Relax and enjoy these quiet times - babies just get louder!!
lucysnowe I did exactly that too at Love Actually!!
Just go with it. I wish I had just relaxed more and not tried for fight against everything.
Rest when you can, enjoy your cuddles and let other people make the tea etc for you.
I found myslef feeling very isolated and unsure becuase it is such a big change and those blinking hormones don't help!!
Try and feel special, because you are very special!
and yes babies do get louder so during moments of quiet just sit back and soak it in!
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