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i have just given in to the worst behaviour and major melt down... and let ds1

(15 Posts)
oops Wed 27-Aug-08 15:41:33

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oops Wed 27-Aug-08 15:42:41

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GordonTheGopher Wed 27-Aug-08 15:43:12

Am totally with you. I'm watching Ice Age. Too much hassle to try and get a nappy on and go out. (DS not me grin).

morningpaper Wed 27-Aug-08 15:43:30

If he's moaning about being tired I would have put him to bed rather than giving him what he wanted all along

This can't be what's made you depressed though?

everlong Wed 27-Aug-08 15:48:00

Don't be depressed. Sounds like your little chap needed a bit of time out and tv every now and then is fine, don't beat yourself up.

I don't like tv at the best of times, but sometimes it just helps with calming them down for 20mins or so.

Have a cup of tea and breathe.

Take care.

oops Wed 27-Aug-08 15:51:45

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Lazycow Wed 27-Aug-08 15:52:00

I agree with MP. If he waid he was tired I'd have insisted he went to bed and had a sleep. TV is a bit of a 'drug' we sometimes use to distract us from what we are feeling. That is fine sometimes but in this case your ds probably needed some sleep or a chance to vent.

It is possibke that if you had insisted on a sleep he probably would have tantrummed more but the sort of tantrum he has just had would indicate to me that something is not right. He obviously did not want to go out but I'd have ridden out the tantrum and then seen where that led.

You sound quite unhappy too and if you are depressed your ds may have picked up on it. Are you feeling OK?

morningpaper Wed 27-Aug-08 15:54:23

It sounds crap oops and I'm sorry you are feeling rubbish

But when my 5 year old is screaming I KNOW she needs a sleep, even if she doesn't! She just has to lie in bed for a bit. Her body needs a rest, even if she doesn't understand it.

A cup of tea for you now, though, I think!

Lazycow Wed 27-Aug-08 15:55:48

He sonds quite spirited/sensitive. That can be an exhausting combination to handle. You did the best you could. In fact you did very well not to shout, scream and lose it.

I'd try amd relax and try to reconnect with him a bit.

oops Wed 27-Aug-08 15:59:42

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oops Wed 27-Aug-08 16:06:20

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Lazycow Wed 27-Aug-08 16:13:13

You sound like you have an awful lot on your plate. The awful thing is that some children react very badly when parents are unhappy. Sounds like you ds is just doing this. Try not to blame him (hard I know). You all sound like you are having a difficult time at the moment.

I think you and dh have to sit down and have a chat about how you manage your ds. I would try to make it positive discipline rather than authoritarian style parenting if possible as some children just react even worse to over the top punishment type parenting.

Both you and dh have to be working together though. Think about some of your ds's worst behaviours and decide on some strategies for managing them. It may take a while but at least you will both feel as if you are doing something to help ds and to make your family life more peaceful.

As for all the other things they all sound very worrying but for your own (and your ds's) health of mind you need to detach a bit. The things you are worrying about sound like things you have little control over, so you need to let them go a bit.

Do what you can or want to for your birth mother and father but don't worry if it has no effect, you have no control over how they behave, they are adults and outside your control.

oops Wed 27-Aug-08 17:03:25

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Lazycow Wed 27-Aug-08 17:16:37

Sounds like a quite a stessful day yesterday.

Ds is a nightmare when tired and will often need to have a full blown tantrum and crying fit before he falls asleep if he is stressed or worried. We had two massive bedtime tantrums (over an hour each one) on a week's holiday this year and that was just because he was somewhere new and over excited.

I know that I findd ds very hard to handle and I find that very dispiriting so you have all my sympathy.

oops Wed 27-Aug-08 18:33:09

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