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Should I have done either or both of these?

(18 Posts)
whatdayisit Mon 25-Aug-08 17:09:56

Ds's 5 & 7

1) Let them go round the block on their scooters on thier own. Trip about 5 mins, DH gardening in front garden, so could be seen for some of it. No roads to cross, pavement all the way and quiet residential area.

2) Let them walk on their own to Grandma's house. Grandma knew they were on their way. It's only about 7 doors away, but there is a road to cross. Said road is only 5 houses long so trafic never reaches any speed. Strict understanding that they hold hands all the way. DS1 is very sensible about roads and DS2 is scared of cars.

chapstickchick Mon 25-Aug-08 17:11:12

i wouldnt but as a mum you hve to go with your own judgement.

Elibean Mon 25-Aug-08 17:14:18

You know your kids, the local roads, etc.

My neighbour lets her 5 and 7 yr old dds walk around the block pushing their dolls' buggies. Mine are too little yet, so I don't know if I would or not - it depends!

Just curious, but...why do you ask? Did someone disapprove?

whatdayisit Mon 25-Aug-08 17:18:56

I was quite happy to let them go (and Mum, who is always right grin thought it was fine too) I just wondered if people seeing them go past might be a bit shock

chapstick. Can I ask why you wouldn't have? Specific concerns or just a general feeling that it wouldn't be right?

Earlybird Mon 25-Aug-08 17:25:29

Would they know what to do if
- a dog bounded up?
- a stranger approached them?
- boisterous older children/teenagers whizzed by on bicycles/skateboards, etc?

I think both scenarious you describe are fine if nothing out of the ordinary happens. But what if something unusual (that required your dc to react) did happen?

purpleduck Mon 25-Aug-08 17:45:27

Mine are 6 and 8 and they do similar in a very similar situation (scooters, crossing a very slow road etc)

It is hard to let go, but they have to learn to develop judgement somehow.

whatdayisit Mon 25-Aug-08 17:46:35

They would certainly know what to do about a stranger and the others, whilst being upsetting for a minute or two, would they actually have been dangerous?

They were never more than 5 mins away from home. I'm not justifying it, just explaining why it seemed OK to me at the time. I'd like to hear other views though.

I have been having some challenges with DS1's behaviour recently, but find he responds well to being given some responsibility, which is why I allowed them to go.

Janni Mon 25-Aug-08 18:20:25

Yes to both

cheesychips Mon 25-Aug-08 20:05:02

I wouldn't. I wouldn't want my 7 yr old to be/feel responsible for a 5yr old. I agree with Earlybird that I'm not paranoid about stranger danger but would be concerned that they may have to make decisions that are beyond them. E.G one of them falls off scooter, hits face, loses tooth becomes hysterical.....

However, I don't have an issue with you doing it. You know your children, the area and how they might cope with the unexpected.

pudding25 Mon 25-Aug-08 20:28:45

I am sure that I will be neurotic when dd is that age and never let her out the house!...but I do think it is ok what you did. When I was that age (and my parents are super neurotic to this day) I used to play out in the street, walk to the local shops (when I was 8 for the first time, on my own and about 10 mins away). It is sad really that we think we can't do this nowadays.

whatdayisit Tue 26-Aug-08 09:48:26

Thanks all for your view. Those of you who wouldn't have, at what ages would you let them go 7 doors down to see Grandma who was looking out for them?

FAQ Tue 26-Aug-08 09:52:11

I probably would have done in that scenario yes.

pudding25 - I'm now dreading DS1 becoming 8 as I've said for a long time (not really to him though) that once he's 8 - and has become confident with the walk up the hill and across the road (pedestrian crossing on busy road that is heaving with other parents) to his Junior school that he starts next week I'll start letting him pop down to the shop for milk or bread for me.

There's 2 minor roads to cross - and I get him to check for cars when we do the trip together now but I'm still now thinking eeeeek!!

slavemum Tue 26-Aug-08 09:59:16

Don't see anything wrong with it at their ages.
faq, just started letting my 8 yr old ds go down the shop. Has to cross a road, but theres a pedestrian crossing. Wasn't sure about allowing it at first, but he has to be allowed to have a little independance at some point. (plus i can see the shop from the bedroom window and watch him without him knowing wink)

FAQ Tue 26-Aug-08 10:00:52

I can't see the shop - but I know that he can actually do it - going to get the walk up to school sorted out first before I do the shop one - I know he'd be really chuffed to do it, and like whatdayis says I feel that given some responsibility will help with his behaviour.

Damn my oldest is nearly ARGHHHHHHHH

edam Tue 26-Aug-08 10:03:03

No problem at all. I've been letting ds play out with the neighbour's kids for the last year - he's now five.

slavemum Tue 26-Aug-08 10:11:04

Think you're right about the behavior faq. Had a horrible time with ds1 recently, became devilchild overnight. During one of his calmer moments we were talking about why he was being so cheeky & naughty he said 'you keep on telling me to act more grown up but you still treat me like a baby'. have tried giving him more responsibility now and have seen BIG imrovements in his behavior.

TheCrackFox Tue 26-Aug-08 11:37:49

Yes, I would have done. We live on a small cul-de-sac and everybody knows each other. DS1 (7yrs) is allowed out to play but I always supervise DS2 (3yrs). There are alot of children on our street too and it is lovely to see them all out playing.

FAQ Tue 26-Aug-08 12:53:01

DS1 the same - he's absolutely terrible - driving me totally nuts, hoping things settle down once back at school and I can give him some more responsibility with walking to school/going to the local shop et

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