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what do you reckon - is it immoral to lie to your toddler to make life easier?

(19 Posts)
deaconblue Wed 20-Aug-08 21:28:48

Ds "mini milk please mummy"
Me "The mini milks have all gone" (not true, I just don't want him to have one very often)

I sometimes wonder if the "good" parent would say "no, you can't have a mini milk" and take the ensuing tantrum...

Bowddee Wed 20-Aug-08 21:30:52

I'm with you on this one.

theinsider Wed 20-Aug-08 21:32:28

Generally I do say "no you can't" rather than lie. But I don't think it's immoral, it's just a choice in parenting. I choose the "mummy says no" route, with a brief explanation as I think it's easier in the long run than having to think of good lies and deal with the fall-out "shall we go to the other shop?" "we could buy some from Tescos" "why has X got one?".

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Wed 20-Aug-08 21:32:51

lol the woman in the coop has convinced my dd1 that they can only sell sweets and comics during certain times of the day and she always sems to miss those times wink

nolongerchunkybutstillapudding Wed 20-Aug-08 21:37:57

when we saw the sweets at the supermarket check-out my mum used to say 'those aren't for sale, they are just to show you what they have back in the shop to buy next time'

worked like a dream

and i don't think it caused me much damage!!!

PinkyDinkyDooToo Thu 21-Aug-08 18:21:44

Love your Coop lady, Shesells.

<<idly wonders about having a chat with PO lady in village>>

lou33 Thu 21-Aug-08 18:24:14

i used to tell my kids that when the ice cream van played a tune, it meant they had run out of everything

worked for ages

sophiajane Thu 21-Aug-08 18:41:36

PMSL at lou's lie grin

Told DDs our local pool was closed for cleaning this morning as i was too lazy to take them

squeaver Thu 21-Aug-08 18:44:52

Lying is the ONLY way to have a quiet life imo.

e.g. "can I have one of these (ads for toys etc)" Answer: "maybe". Shuts them up and you never have to make a commitment.

So I suppose that's not really lying, but you get my drift.

edam Thu 21-Aug-08 18:45:46

Oh, surely it's obligatory to lie to toddlers?

I remember telling 2yo ds that the supermarket had run out of lollies, and it was a huge shame, there was a national lollipop shortage, and the PM had had to make an emergency statement to the House of Commons...

looked up to see a woman grinning at me. She said 'you do know your nose is growing, don't you?' grin

(I was bored, btw, that's why I span the story out for ages, and also hoping the longer the explanation the higher the chances that ds would get bored and start thinking about something else.)

squeaver Thu 21-Aug-08 18:45:54

And it's not really a moral dilemma is it? After all we lie to them from their first Xmas onwards don't we? Plenty more things to worry about in life.

LittleMyDancingForJoy Thu 21-Aug-08 18:49:43

depends on the lie.

'Daddy's not coming home because he doesn't love you' - that's immoral

'there are no more biscuits' - that's just sensible behaviour!


edam Thu 21-Aug-08 22:47:04

'there are no biscuits because a. mummy has eaten them all or b. mummy is planning to scoff them later when you are in bed' would be honest. But cruel!

I am doing ds a favour by sparing him distressing explanations. <<polishes halo>>

Skramble Thu 21-Aug-08 22:52:26

Trouble is the sneaky little buggers often find you out grin.

hester Thu 21-Aug-08 22:53:29

Immoral? No.


cathym Fri 22-Aug-08 12:49:44

I lie to my 2.5 year old all the time, and the more I do it the easier it gets Its the only way to survive sometimes. Mind you, its doesn't always work, if I say we have run out of something she will start getting ready to go to the shops to get some more!

LittleMyDancingForJoy Fri 22-Aug-08 13:47:06

oh edam, i like your approach.

'you have to go to bed now because you've been so naughty that mummy needs a large drink and some chocolates and to scream into a sofa cushion' - truth, not nice

'you have to go to bed now so that we can play lots more later' - lieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee - but much friendlier. grin

edam Fri 22-Aug-08 17:50:59

That sounds familiar little. I rue the day ds decided he didn't want to nap any more!

LittleMyDancingForJoy Fri 22-Aug-08 18:35:23

I am in the enviable position of having a DS who gets sooooooo tired at nursery three days a week that on his two days at home he sleeps for <<whispers>> four hours.....

I shall be gutted when he stops that!

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