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my ds1 has just really hurt me and when i said he had, he smiled and said "i'm glad you hurt"

(8 Posts)
oops Mon 18-Aug-08 14:26:13

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PootyApplewater Mon 18-Aug-08 14:30:30

oh dear sad
it sounds like you're having a rough day.

i think you should leave it now, as the moment has passed.

perhaps next time he hurts someone, whether accidentally or because he's being a bit fractious, you could ask to to apologise.

if he won't, then give him some form of sanction.

how do you normally discipline him - time out, removal of privileges etc?

GooseyLoosey Mon 18-Aug-08 14:31:25

When I read the title, I thought "I bet he is around 5". Ds is just over 5 and went through a phase like this (which he just seems to be coming out of). I don't think that they have much grasp of empathy at that age and you have to explain how much it hurt you and that just because he was frustrated does not mean that he can hurt you. My ds would also have been sent to his room when we got home for hurting me.

I do know how you feel, but would not worry about it and I think you did the right thing.

myermay Mon 18-Aug-08 14:39:55

i also have a 5 year old who shows little compassion for hurting his brother, and the odd friend physically or emotionally. Yet most of the time is incrediably loving

However, if he deliberately hurt me by driving a scooter into me then i would've smacked his bottom i'm afraid, and he would get a cross on his chart when we got home, he has to now that under no circumstances does he lash out at you. He's just pushing his boundaries....was he quite tired after the softplay ( i know this is no excuse, but i always find by ds gets v. agressive, mouthy when tired)

I do sympathise with you, my ds also do the nah, nah thing and pokes his tongue out if i tell him off sometimes - and i feel like i'm going to explode - i don't think i would've dared do that to my mum especially at 5!

I do find that when my ds is being very strong willed, rude etc especailly when we are out, i just treat hin like a baby and hold his hand and dont' let it go and ignore him -

Good luck, hopefully they'll grow out of it

oops Mon 18-Aug-08 14:46:04

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oops Mon 18-Aug-08 20:12:02

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Elibean Tue 19-Aug-08 08:15:26

Hunger and small brother's birthday? Guaranteed meltdown by 5 yr old sibling IME wink

dd is nearly 5 and can switch from adorable, sensible, big girl who loves her mummy to furious horror who hates me in 2 seconds flat. I use various forms of giving her space (time-out for both of us, really) and have straight talks when she calms down.

It does seem to be an age of wildly swinging hormones and boundary testing, sympathies!

Elibean Tue 19-Aug-08 08:17:02

ps dd also sometimes wants to get into her sister's pushchair and won't get out, its when she wants to be the baby and have the attention again...if its possible, I find letting her be the baby for five minutes saves a multitude of angst, but I know its not always possible. Hope today is better smile

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