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Sport sport sport- feel very excluded!

(19 Posts)
costagirl Sun 17-Aug-08 11:11:38

Need to let off steam and hear from anyone else who has similar situation! DH's side of the family are sport mad, very public school obsessed with cricket, hockey etc etc. I have 2 DS aged 6 and 2. 6 year old utterly obsessed with cricket, runs up and down the lounge/garden practising spin bowling from 6.30am - he is very good and clearly has some talent but it is driving me mad! 2 year old also loves throwing ball at the bails and shouting "yes"! I KNOW it's prob v healthy for them, but it seems to be taking over our lives - and he's only 6 for god's sake! DH took him to Lords yesterday - 7am-9pm - and is taking him to another match all day on Wednesday- the day I usually spend time with him as 2 year old at nursery. I feel my time/interests with him are being completely pushed aside. As I write, DH and DS are playing cricket in the lounge - this has been on and off all morning. Am beginning to feel that I will have nothing in common with my lovely son before long - I do encourage him, and take him to cricket club etc, but want him to be a balanced individual. He is very affectionate towards me and I'm probably being silly, but feel like sport and my in-laws are just dominating. I do other things with him like museums, cinema, chilling at home etc but the great god cricket takes priority. Anyone had similar/got advice?

Othersideofthechannel Sun 17-Aug-08 15:48:08

Try to accept it and make the most of your free time.
You could start following the cricket on the radio (whilst simultaneously cooking, painting, gardening or whatever you enjoy) so that you are not excluded from the conversations. (I had a cricket obsessed boyfriend for a few years.)

Othersideofthechannel Sun 17-Aug-08 15:49:03

It sounds like a very healthy situation. Your sons get to spend plenty of time with their father and they get exercise at the same time.

SqueakyPop Sun 17-Aug-08 16:22:02

Sport is a good thing.

Loshad Sun 17-Aug-08 20:41:15

Agree with otherside, you need to start learning a little bit about cricket so you can join in the conversations, and so your ds1 knows you areinterested in what he does and enjoys.

edam Sun 17-Aug-08 20:44:13

Oh, I feel for you. Would HATE this if it were my family. Don't give a toss about ruddy sport.

It's really Not On if your dh has a hobby which is so all-encompassing it takes over the family. Fine, nice for him to share with the children and spend time with them, but NOT to the exclusion of anything you might like to do, or they might discover they enjoy.

Think I'd have a word with dh about getting a bit of balance.

lilyloo Sun 17-Aug-08 20:45:24

I have this with ds and football. Thin it may be more of a ds thing rather than a family thing tbh
You just need to set aside a day for you to take him somewhere.
I have a bald patch on my carpet from ds playing football on it wink

costagirl Sun 17-Aug-08 20:53:20

Thanks for your messages. I know sport is a good healthy thing, but not when it is a complete obsession. My DS walks through town pretending to bowl! Took them to an excellent outdoor adventure place today for a bit of a change - first comment, "oh this would be a great place to play cricket." Aargh!

costagirl Sun 17-Aug-08 20:57:44

Was also v peed off this morning when I posted as I had set aside Tues night to take DS to cinema for our time together - in laws phone up & request that cousin comes to sleep over Tues night so he can go to the cricket too. So bang goes cinema outing. Could have said no, but both kids had heard sleepover suggestion and would have been really disappointed if I'd put the kybosh on it. angry

lilyloo Sun 17-Aug-08 21:16:25

Why can't you take cousin to cinema too ?
I thin i would find it nigh on impossible to get ds to not play/think about football most of the time.
The cricket comment at the play area is pretty normal i would think.

costagirl Sun 17-Aug-08 21:30:14

Lilyloo, wanted to take DS to Mama Mia just the two of us, as a treat.

UniS Sun 17-Aug-08 23:00:04

Please try not to become a bitter cricket widow. my MiL is one and its PITA. She stops dh and his dad talking about their truely loved and shared interest.
Personally I chose to like cricket having seen MiL in action I didn;t want to go down that route. I now score for Dhs team and am starting ds on scoring already ( hes 2.5 and he helps put the numbers in the right places) ds need no help liking cricket hes as obsessed as your little un.

costagirl Mon 18-Aug-08 12:00:41

Won't be a bitter cricket widow - like I said, I take my son to cricket club and love watching him play, have lots of games in the garden with him etc. Just think balance is important - sport is only one aspect of life but it seems to become an obsession.

ForeverOptimistic Mon 18-Aug-08 12:25:15

I don't think sport is the issue. It sounds as if you feel pushed out by your IL's. I think you need to talk with your dh.

Morloth Mon 18-Aug-08 13:35:11

I think you are just going to have to suck it up - its Rugby in our house.

Sorry, not having a go - but you were going to take a 6 year old boy to see Mamma Mia?! However would you get him to sit still through that? Again, I am not saying this is a BAD thing just amazed that it is possible!

My DS is only 4 and I have well and truly lost him to his father's mad rugby ways. Boys are like that.

I do however seem to get lumped with all the smelly/muddy clothes...

costagirl Mon 18-Aug-08 17:40:12

Morloth, I took him to Mamma Mia last night and he LOVED it - he's very into musicals! Yes I think I just have to accept the whole sport thing - just work hard to balance it with other things. x

pagwatch Mon 18-Aug-08 17:43:51

we have rugby and cricket in this house but i confess I have just joined them.
not playing but watching of course.
You might want to consider just going with it. Ds1 recently got his letter confirming his place on cricket tour to Trinidad last term and DH and I are going to take the kids out there at the same time
hooray !
If he can just get on the senior rugby tour to South Africa...

Loshad Mon 18-Aug-08 18:14:41

that's fab pagwatch, what a great experience for him.

UniS Mon 18-Aug-08 21:58:27

Glad you can cope with cricket club and get involved as much as you want to. Its not just boys sports that households get taken over by, i know of horse obsessed families and also ballet/ dance/ theatre obbsessed ones.
The kids generally do turn out resonablely balanced humans however.
After all in cricket teams as they get older lads will start going to games with out their parents, look after their own kit, be prompt and focused and have to learn to play alongside older men and take instruction/ advise form others.

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