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Am 40 wks pregnant tomorrow, and DS goes ballistic if I hold a baby. Any tips to make this better?

(9 Posts)
bohemianbint Sat 16-Aug-08 19:19:20

On the rare occasion where I've actually held another baby, or even shown any attention to another child, DS goes nuts, screams, cries, pushes the baby away...Held a friend's newborn this afternoon and he was inconsolable and climbed into my lap for a massive bear hug.

It's odd, as he's usually a bit of a daddy's boy (I look after him all week so I think he gets bored of me whereas daddy is a weekend and evening novelty) but if I hold a baby he can't bear it. If I show him the bump he tells me to put it away and if I try to talk to him about it, he's not interested. I'm really worried, as obviously the new baby is going to arrive any day, and he's going to be gutted. I've tried to prepare him as best I can, I even got some twee story about a baby bear out of the library for him, but it doesn't look like it's working. I can't say I blame him, it's pretty rough, but it's going to happen anyway and I really don't want it to upset him anymore than necessary.

So - practical tips to introduce a baby to a jealous sibling? He's 19, by the way.

(Only kidding, he turned 2 on Monday. wink)

bigspender30 Sat 16-Aug-08 21:34:59

the baby can buy him a great present! That should help with the bonding!

StarlightMcKenzie Sat 16-Aug-08 21:38:30

Message withdrawn

RubyRioja Sat 16-Aug-08 21:40:53

Buy him a dolly?
Lots of opportunities to care/through out of window?

constancereader Sat 16-Aug-08 21:41:47

33 weeks pg with a 19 month ds who hits out at other babies/children if he sees me holding them.

Mine doesn't talk much either, I think HE thinks baby is what you call a big fat tummy.

Am worried too, but try to reassure myself that things work out for other people so they will for us...

bohemianbint Sat 16-Aug-08 21:50:58

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I'm expecting the worst, to be honest, so anything better will be a bonus. At least will have DH around for the first 2 weeks to help share the attention out.

I keep hoping that things will be different if it's his own baby brother/sister, but I think I might be deluding myself on that one.

I've read a few things that say to make sure you're not holding the new baby the first time the older one meets it - sounds logical, I guess?

Heated Sat 16-Aug-08 21:52:38

Mine have a similar age gap &, taking advice, we planned their introduction, lol.

Nb was in her moses basket in the corner so she wasn't in my arms or the centre of attention when ds came back home with the gps & he got all the fuss about his 'holiday'.

Gps held the baby, then dh and then me. He was genuinely pleased to see her. During the week when the fuss had died down a bit his new sister had a present for him. He also loved helping with bath time, washing the baby, it also marked the time where he and dh started going swimming together on Sat morning, so all round it was a nice time.

It's the sibling rivalry when dd wants to play with his power-rangers that's the problem! grin

BroccoliSpears Sat 16-Aug-08 21:52:45

My ds was born 2 weeks before my dd's 2nd birthday so similar age gap here.

My top tips would be:

* Don't push the baby onto ds. Don't keep bringing the baby up in conversation (I had a tendancy to say inane things like "oooh your brother really likes your dancing too" when no he didn't, he was a boring baby just lying there and she wasn't interested in whether he liked her dancing or not, it was my approval she wanted.)

* Be really relaxed about letting ds hold the baby and help. Babies aren't made of glass and will withstand a certain amount of toddler love.

* Let ds dislike the baby if he wants to.

* Hang in there. My ds is now 3 months old and after a shakey start, dd is really getting to actually like him and love him as a member of our family.

Heated Sat 16-Aug-08 21:54:37

Also meant to add so many thoughtful ppl bought him a present for becoming a big brother - he thought getting a new sister was great grin

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