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Help me to work out how to teach my toddler not to throw hard objects/ bite/ break things/ rip wallpaper/ throw food...

(10 Posts)
eyeballs Thu 14-Aug-08 23:54:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madcol Thu 14-Aug-08 23:58:32

WHen you know - tell me please.

superflybaby Fri 15-Aug-08 12:58:59

eyeballs, I have one relatively good toddler & I still lost it and smacked her leg during a nappy change struggle. Just the once, out of pure frustration, I 'll never do it again.
I know how horrible you feel right now but you are not a bad parent for that one act.
I felt shockingly guilty for about 2 months, but now I use it to remember what not to do & when I feel myself loosing control. Now I breath deep & slow, mentally swicth off, let her get over it and come to me.

With 2 kids I imagine this isn't realistic. 19 months is a really tricky age too, as they don't understand simple explanations of why throwing & biting are not acceptable... not much help am I?! I'd just watch him really carefully and keep opportunities of throwing & biting to a minimum, until he's old enough to understand.
Good luck x

lazaroulovespastries Fri 15-Aug-08 13:03:50

I don't know, I think it's a stage they go through. I like to remind myself of that phrase 'this too shall pass' when I am at my wits end.

juuule Fri 15-Aug-08 13:04:51

"but it is endless"

Yes, it definitely feels like that sometimes.
Answer to your question. It takes years of patience, repetition and frustration but you get there eventually. Counting to ten before you react is a good strategy...and deep breathing.

If you feel you've been a bad parent, put it behind you, move on and resolve not to do whatever it was that you didn't do in the way you would have liked to.

Egg Fri 15-Aug-08 13:14:25

I smacked DS1 on the leg the other day as he kicked me in the face when i was changing his nappy. I was then mortified as I have spent the last few months reinforcing that hitting is wrong. Worst was he said in a tiny voice "dont hit me". I apologised straight away and explained it was a reaction to being kicked in the face (he hadn't hurt me with kick btw).

I used to smack his leg on the odd occasion, esp when I was pregnant with DTs as I would get so frustrated and worn down as he was just like you describe your DS. I have now told myself to never ever do it and, as juuule says, counting to 10 before I react to really bad behaviour! He is now 2.5 and does not throw anywhere near as much as he used to (worst stage was approx 19 months I think!).

Sorry, no advice really but fingers crossed he will get better soon! I am praying DS1 does not start biting his brother or sister...

rolymoma Fri 15-Aug-08 13:54:40

My dd is 19 months and, although mostly really good, is just starting to become a little bit naughty. She doesnt bite but has hit things in temper a few times recently. She can say quite a lot and understands that she is being naughty when she hits out as she instantly freezes, looks at me and starts crying. I am not sure of the best way of dealing with it but so far I have picked up whatever she has been playing with, quietly put it away and told her, calmly, to go away until she has sorted herself out. She tends to go out of the room and stand crying just by the door. after about 30 seconds (I cant bear feeling so cruel for any more than that!) I ask her if she wants to come for a hug and she always does. Whilst we have a cuddle I tell her we that dont hit each other or things but that we hug instead. She's calmed down each time but I think as she assets herself more and more we are going to have further issues with her. I'm hoping to nip it in the bud as far as possible. Grateful for any other suggestions.

Pitchounette Fri 15-Aug-08 13:57:43

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ajm200 Fri 15-Aug-08 17:30:41

Usually distraction works, I give him little jobs to do. Helping to load the washing machine, unload the dishwasher, etc. If that fails we go to plan B

throws toys: I take them away and he doesn't get them back until the next day.

Smacking or kicking: A 2 min timeout in his cot which he hates as he is very sociable. When he is let out he has to cuddle whoever he has hurt as he can't say sorry yet

He's very good at the table but if he does start playing with his food, we reach across and take it away without making any fuss. After a min he gets it back. If he plays with it again, we assume he is full put the plate in the kitchen.

Tantrums I just ignore and he stops quite quickly.

eyeballs Fri 15-Aug-08 21:51:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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