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Anyone with inspiring & positive stories of being a SAHM?(12 Posts)
I didn't ever have much of a career before dd came along so it wasn't a difficult decision not to go back to work. She is 10 months old now and absolutely lovely. However, a lot of the mums I know are going back to work now and it's made me feel a bit wobbly about whether I am doing the right thing. I feel a bit like I am being left behind. I just made the mistake of reading the Motherhood Delusion thread and that's depressed me even more! I'm a bit scared of just drifting off into obscurity as dd grows up and goes off to school etc. I enjoy being at home and doing mummy things, but also need to make sure I get out and get some adult company. How do you SAHMs make sure you keep some sort of balance in your life?
Hmm, thanks riven. Have made some good friends, but they are all going back to work! I'm just wondering what made SAHMdom work for you. Do you have regular things you are involved in with other adults?
I am a sahm after successful career.
It is more difficult than when you are at work - most of my friendships during my 20's and 30's were work based and now they are from different places.
You just have to make more effort because the socialising situations don't happen as easily.You have to be brave about approaching people and suggesting things.
I make friends through Dcs schools, through classes and through other encounters. It is the same with slipping into bordom - you have to choose to be active and busy.
I am not inspiring in the slightest - have nothing worthy going on. But i am extremely happy being at home because I plan what i do and i do not slip into the habit of doing things today just because i did them yesterday.
I remember feeling like that when my dd was about 9 months old. I gave myself a few more months to think about going back to work. She's now 18
I have loved being a SAHM. Not all the time of course, and maybe I would've been just as happy choosing the other road. But my 3 dc, my dh and I are happy with this decision.
I got involved with clubs they were in as they got older. (They were always looking for more parent helpers). Also the playschool and schools committees.
When they were toddlers though it was harder, and a lot of the time the only adults I met were local shopkeepers! Then I did some adult education courses, purely for interest, and at least met some people of all ages rather then just mothers. If you belong to a local church they'd probably welcome more involvement, or otherwise keep an eye on local newspapers for mother & baby swims or clubs.
Being a SAHM is not for everyone. But your dd will change so much in the next couple of years, that your life will too. I found it tough being with a baby of 10 or 11 months, but a few months later the child is so different your life is different too.
I'm a bit of a 50/50, I do work but only 5am - 9:30am so I'm home just after breakfast and I'm at home for the rest of the day. I only work as I need to contribute towards the bills, I would happily give up work if I could, although to a point I suppose I do like the adult company and just for a few hours a day I'm me and not mummy iyswim lol.
Anyhoo, I love being at home with my kids, I have a ds(5y) and dd(8m), I've made some friends through my son being at school and some through work.
Money is a little tight so we tend to do things on a budget: storytime at the library, walking round our church (it's huge), going to the park with a picnic, planting flowers and vegetables, swimming, arts and crafts, going round town with friends and their children, playdates, camping in the living room - I could go on and on.
You make it as good as you can, sometimes we just stay in our pj's and watch dvd's if the weather is bad, I love my life as it is and will continue with the work/sahm balance as long as my family are happy, even when all my children are at school xx
my first year in our new house I got a christmas card from our local coffee shop and the childrens clothes shop
I don't know how old you are but I always tell myself that if I go back to work when the youngest (due in a month!!) starts secondary school I won't even be 40 which means all being well I'll have AT LEAST 25 years to work.
I also tell myself that times will change and work will become more flexible. I know how you feel though. I had a DS1's godmother lecturing me the other day on my 'dependency' on DH and what about if I get old and fat and boring [hmm.
I'm also doing an MA through OU an hope to do voluntary work when DCs are at school.
When there are some sunny days then lie in the park with your gorgeous baby and think, 'I could be working now!!'
Your DD is still very young. It could well be that by the time she's old enough to go happily to nursery purely for her own benefit rather than because you need childcare, you will feel a lot clearer about what you want to do for yourself long term. It will also depend on whether you want to have more children. If you are happy being a SAHM, you might as well have them at reasonably short intervals so that you can be with them when they are little without losing years and years of your employable life.
Thanks everyone, you have inspired me. Sometimes its so hard just to be happy with our lot and stop thinking maybe I should be doing this or that. I have been in jobs that have made me miserable and now I'm at home with my dd and quite happy most of the time I still can't help thinking maybe I should be working! I think helping out at a few clubs or voluntary work might be good for me, a bit of adult responsibility.
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