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terrible twos starting a year early?

(12 Posts)
silvermum Wed 13-Aug-08 12:43:05

my DS has just turned one and seems to be in a really difficult phase. i thought this wasn't supposed to happen until they turned two? until recently he was the cheeriest, easiest, happiest little man. now he's clingy, whingey, and demanding, and every meal is an absolute battle. he doesn't seem ill; i'm not sure if he's teething (there are no obvious signs of it except the general whingeing), so why on earth doesn't he want to eat properly, and why is he always attached to my leg looking miserable?
to make matters worse we just have a new nanny starting this week. and i can't work out if he's being like he is because of the upheaval of his old nanny leaving and the new one starting, or if he's being like this anyway....
It's really grinding me down and i just want him to be happy. if i could give up my job to look after him full time i probably would, but i can't.
help!!

Weegle Wed 13-Aug-08 12:57:20

My DS was at his hardest from 14-16 months whilst all of my friend's were still "babies" in temperament. He's now 2.2 and considerably easier than just after one. Not because he's less whingy, although we are making progress with that, but because him behaving like that just after his first birthday was a bolt from the blue and a shock to my system! It's tough, but you'll get used to it and I'm sure teething and other issues will be going in to the mix so there will be better and worse times, but it's certainly not unusual for "terrible twos" behaviour to start that young. But with the meals - don't have a battle. Just simply say "you musn't be hungry" and take the food away. Don't turn it in to a control issue. And with a bit of time you'll have your strategies sorted with how to handle him just as your mum friends are entering the territory for themselves!

silvermum Wed 13-Aug-08 15:05:53

thanks weegle. hoping others will come along with shared experiences. just wasn't prepared for this apparent change in happy go lucky personality.

tab1 Wed 13-Aug-08 15:08:48

my 13 month old dd has suddenly become very clingy again and was told it's because as they get more independent and start walking they get worried about separation again.

silvermum Wed 13-Aug-08 15:11:04

hmm, that makes sense (not that he's quite walking ) especially as we have the new nanny etc, probably heightening separation anxiety. agghghghg! clearly the wrong time for changing nanny sad but it was out of our control...

wasabipeanut Wed 13-Aug-08 15:12:04

I can't help much as my ds is 11mo and recently has turned from a sunny little munchkin 90% of the time to a whinging so and so if he can't have his own way.

By can't have his own way I mean nappy changes, stopping him whacking the cat, shutting the living room door so he can't climb up the stairs, getting dressed etc. It can get quite tiring. He's fine until you stop him doing something then he just turns.

So I can't help much but I can empathise!

wasabipeanut Wed 13-Aug-08 15:13:18

Actually he starting walking a couple of weeks ago - should have thought this could be related.

tab1 Wed 13-Aug-08 15:23:55

dd can be nasty, she scratches on purpose and pushes us away, and like you say throws a strop if we say no to climbing stairs, throwing dinner etc.

SpecialOffer Wed 13-Aug-08 15:34:27

My ds is 13 months and is going through a "difficult" stage. I just ignore him a lot, as soon figured out he wasn't teething as all he wanted was attention.

He has had strops about going in his cot, screamed everytime he went near it!! His eating is not too bad, but he does feed himself a lot so is happy doing that! i have been told it will pass.

silvermum Wed 13-Aug-08 17:23:10

oh i hope so! yes, wasabi, my DS has same tantrum triggers-being barred from going out on balcony; having nappy changed (why? why? do they really WANT to sit in poo?); getting put into pushchair; getting put into high chair -and so on and so on....

jollydo Wed 13-Aug-08 18:49:57

Another 14 month old developing a temper here. If not allowed to go where he wants or have something he wants he cries with such fury and often sits on the floor with his head between his legs! At least at that age it's quite endearing, it's the 3-year-old tantrums I'm not looking forward to going through again. Maybe if they start them early they are sweetness and light by the time they're 2 (wishful thinking emoticon).

bumbly Wed 13-Aug-08 21:04:57

my one year old - beats all the below

screams and screams if doesn't get his way!

exacerbating!

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