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Insults from teens

(13 Posts)
Moshi Tue 12-Aug-08 20:59:14

If your 14 year old daughter persistantly called you names like "freak" and "fatbum" etc, how would you react?

I was decorating her bedroom earlier and she was sprawled out on her bed just reeling insults off at me.

posieflump Tue 12-Aug-08 21:00:38

sad
Well I haven't got a teenager and I'm sure some will say ignore but tbh I would think a zero tolerance approah would be better - ie take away her playstation, straighteners or similar

solidgoldbrass Tue 12-Aug-08 21:02:11

14-year-olds are frequently horrible and frequently can't entirely help it. Is she annoyed over the redecoration ie are you redoing her room to reflect your taste rather than hers? Have you had or been having arguments over stuff a lot? Teenagers often think that adults (particularly their parents) just DONT UNDERSTAND WAAAAAH. If it was me I would smile sweetly and say things like 'Yeah, I remember being 14 and my hormoes giving me hell, dear.'

Moshi Tue 12-Aug-08 21:03:15

She chose all the bedroom stuff herself. She was actually supposed to be helping me at the time. hmm

ravenAK Tue 12-Aug-08 21:03:50

Does she want her room re-decorated?

If she does, stop & say 'I'll be back to finish it when you can be polite to me'

If she doesn't, chuck her out of it whilst you get on...

solidgoldbrass Tue 12-Aug-08 21:04:12

Hang on, just realised you are on the other thread about a teenage girl. Have you been telling her that your friend thinks she is a freak and unfeminine? If so then not only am I not surprised that she is calling you names but I have to say that you deserve it.

ravenAK Tue 12-Aug-08 21:04:12

Oh well down tools then!

MarsLady Tue 12-Aug-08 21:04:15

I'd stop decorating and walk out personally. If she were to ask why (because teens can sometimes be dense... go figure) I'd simply say... "Oh I've no intention giving up my time to be insulted" and walk away.

Oh and I like the..."oh yes... 14" line as well grin

EyeballsintheSky Tue 12-Aug-08 21:05:56

What is this can't entirely help it business? I haven't got teenagers yet but I was one once not so long ago and I would no way have spoken to my parents like that and they weren't very strict. If I thought those things I kept them to myself. I would have put down the paintbrush and walked out tbh. Not that anything she said was bad but it's the lack of respect.

solidgoldbrass Tue 12-Aug-08 22:14:33

Eyeballs: well in some cases teenager hormones (particularly those of girls) do interfere with their ability to be entirely reasonable all the time: some adult women get major PMT to the extent that they can be pretty rude and over-emotional.
And also I think that in this case (given the other thread) this girl might have been responding to the fact that her mother had said some hurtful things to her in the first place.

olympicsnotfederer Tue 12-Aug-08 22:17:57

I haven't read the other thread (?) but sgb has and seems to have picked up on something here....

hmm

frogs Tue 12-Aug-08 22:21:23

Why are you decorating her room for her if she's treating you like something she's stepped in?

Dd1 (13) is having her room decorated (largely by her and 9yo ds), has a new bed and I've just bought her a load of new clothes she didn't strictly need because she has been exceptionally nice to me and helpful with the little ones over the holidays. If she was lying on her backside not contributing, then these nice things would not be happening. And if she were to insult me in the terms you describe I'd explain to her exactly why her standard of living was about to take a turn for the worse, and wait for her to come to her senses.

It's not okay, and you don't have to put up with it. But in the end you have more leverage, because you have money and she wants Stuff (presumably). Make it work for you. And def don't decorate her room, that's just lying down and inviting her to walk all over you.

AbbeyA Tue 12-Aug-08 22:36:30

I wouldn't stand for it. My DSs tried it once (at different times)and backtracked pretty fast.I don't allow anyone to call me names like that, certainly not family!

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