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SAHM versus a WOHM - what have you chosen and why?

(79 Posts)
Gateau Tue 12-Aug-08 14:31:04

Turn it into a HUGE bun fight if you want to, but this isn't my intention. I'm just interested in hearing which people prefer - and why.

Dragonbutter Tue 12-Aug-08 14:32:04

there was a lovely thread recently that didn't turn into a fight. i'll try to find it for you.

Gateau Tue 12-Aug-08 14:32:52

I work PT and am a bit torn at the mo, whuich is why I'm interested.

Dragonbutter Tue 12-Aug-08 14:34:52

try here

Neeerly3 Tue 12-Aug-08 14:35:59



I earn the same as my DH, could not afford to give up half our household income.

I have twins, and as newborns were incredibly hard work, I was grateful to have 5 days a week without them (harsh but true)

jellybeans Tue 12-Aug-08 14:36:29

I have been both and prefer SAHM with very part time work or study, I study at the moment. F/t work was too much for me and, I felt, unfair on DD. I stay home now is much easier as DH works weird shifts and we have 4 kids (and 1 on way) and we feel one of us needs to be around after school etc.

girlsallaround Tue 12-Aug-08 14:48:18

i am wohm full time since the day i found out i was pg with dd1. i took both dd1 and dd2 to work with me when they were born, and dd3 who is on the way will hopefully be the same.

i think i would go crazy and my poor dds would have it all on their heads if i spent all day with them. i do love all the time i spend with the but would go crazy from the cooking, cleaning, and errand running involved.

also my mom was a sahm for my first 8 years and i always thought she should go focus some of her energies on herself that it would make her more of a relaxed person to be around and give her some perspective

CJMommy Tue 12-Aug-08 14:54:19

WOHM full-time because we can't survive on DH salary and only part of mine.

If I had the choice, would work 3 days per week and have the rest off to spend with DS but unfortunately not in that position at the moment sad

Bumdiddley Tue 12-Aug-08 15:03:11

WOHM - I prefer being at work and Dh prefers being at home and we wanted one of us at home.

SoupDragon Tue 12-Aug-08 15:04:10

SAHM because I took redundancy at the start of my maternity leave with DS1 and DH earns shed loads so money isn't an issue.

hercules1 Tue 12-Aug-08 15:08:03

WOHM and dh for now is a sahp. I would go brain dead if at home all the time.

Ewe Tue 12-Aug-08 15:10:23

WOHM - I love my job and am a lone parent so have to!

Wisknit Tue 12-Aug-08 15:14:10

I like looking after my babies. True, they drive me up the wall frequently but I can't imagine working AND looking after them. Or going to work after a night like last night.
Also I earned bugger all so child care would probably have swallowed up everything.
As a result we live in a shitty area but I get to SAH with the children.

Shoegazer Tue 12-Aug-08 15:14:52

I'm a WOHM but I only do one night a week and every other weekend, so on the whole I guess I'm a SAHM. I would love to be a full time SAHM because it would also give me more time to study, and I don't like my job but it pays the bills.

candyfluff Tue 12-Aug-08 15:16:27

ive been a stay at home mum for 10 years and i love it my dh doesnt want me to go to work as it wouldnt pay iyswim .we have no one to look after our kids so any money i earned would go straight on childcare its pointless

DeeRiguer Tue 12-Aug-08 15:20:50

job of approx 5 years (for me) that i will never get the chance to do again!
its coming to an end in the foreseeable and am uber grateful i had a choice in what i wanted to do..

will be heading back to world paid employment albeit on pt basis probably next year..

it goes quick even if it doesnt feel like that some days

anniemac Tue 12-Aug-08 15:23:57

Message withdrawn

slightlycrumpled Tue 12-Aug-08 15:24:12

SAHM working one day a week on a self employed basis.

When ds1 was a baby I worked four days and really enjoyed it, then came ds2 and everything changed! He has SN and has had ill health for nearly all of his four years.

We took the decision that one of us needed to be at home and that sending a poorly baby to nursery wasn't right.

Three years on and I have thoroughly enjoyed being at home with my children, although the drop in finances has been less enjoyable!

anniemac Tue 12-Aug-08 15:27:31

Message withdrawn

myalias Tue 12-Aug-08 15:36:35

Enjoy working and being able to contribute towards bills, holidays etc.
Have just increased my hours at work and will continue to increase my hours as the children grow up. I hope to be working full time within the next 5 years.

DontlookatmeImshy Tue 12-Aug-08 15:44:26

SAHM - we waited until we were in a financial position to make sure i could be a sahm before we ttc. I just couldn't imagine leaving the dcs with anyone else.

I don't miss WOTH and tbh the thought of going back to an office and dealing with all the office politics and other crap fills me with horror. Probably in the same way being a sahm fills other people with horror.

I don't want to be totally financially dependant on dh though, so I became a registered childminder. It's an ideal solution for us as i get to earn some money and am still able to stay at home with the dc's.

Gateau Tue 12-Aug-08 15:46:15

Good thing about being PT is, you don't have to deal with any office politics. You are on the fringes. Well, in my world anyway.

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow Tue 12-Aug-08 15:48:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anniemac Tue 12-Aug-08 15:57:17

Message withdrawn

SixSpotBurnet Tue 12-Aug-08 16:01:11

Sort of a bit like Anniemac - I'm the breadwinner, DH never earned anything like as much as me even when he was in full-time paid employment and now after nearly 10 years of being a SAHD I think it would be difficult for him to get back to work (and plus he doesn't want to).

If I had my time again I would want both of us to work part-time because I do (I'm afraid) feel I have missed out and that is even with only working four days a week, rarely working evenings, never working weekends etc. BUT as Anniemac says, supporting your family is in itself an act of love and I hope that one day my DSs or some of them anyway will be proud of me, just as I am more proud of my dad now that I realise how uncomplainingly he shouldered his responsibilities.

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