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Help, feeling traumatised, kids ganging up on me

(11 Posts)
mabanana Mon 11-Aug-08 19:20:23

Kids - just seven and nearly four, been getting on really well on holiday (usual spats) but are starting to gang up on me. VEry bad this pm. LOvley day out to zoo, both got little toys in the gift shop, but on the way home out of control. I stopped at a garage shop for a few minutes to buy something for their tea _ they ask to stay in teh car and promise to stay put. Get back and both kids have got into the boot (easy to do by lifting up central seat). I am calm, say, 'come on monsters, back in your seats.' THat's Ok. but then ds says, 'we were planning to drive the car into the shop or get in the boot'. I'm really shocked and say that is terrible and dangerous and I can now no longer let them stay in teh car when I pop in to pay etc as I had no idea they planned this sort of thing. Then on way home things get worse, including taking off their seat belts and pretending to fall about all over the place. Obviously stop car and bollock kids, who just laugh at me. I say, right when home, to your rooms and no stories and get, 'we don't care. We love being in our rooms. Don't want you to read us stories ha ha ha' (they have never, ever spoken to me like this) I am so beside myself I have to pull up and get out of the car for a few minutes. They are just laughing. IN the end I take the gifts they chose from zoo and give them away to passing family (explain that my kids are getting out of their seat belts and it's totally scaring me, so mum was lovely - thanks if you are reading this!) which finally seems to get through to kids. Dd (4) starts crying. I gt home, hand kids to dh and had two big glasses of wine in quick succession. Still upset and traumatised. Feel like shit mum to have my kids talk to me like this. Don't want to do anything with them for the rest of holiday (told them this too). Just feel very, very down about it all.

mabanana Mon 11-Aug-08 19:21:39

I've actually changed my regular name in anticipation of a slagging sad

justaboutagrownup Mon 11-Aug-08 19:24:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mabanana Mon 11-Aug-08 20:11:26

Ok, you have all put the kids to bed now, so some sympathy and help welcome - please!

lizinthesticks Mon 11-Aug-08 20:20:43

I don't get it - why do you expect a slagging?

georgimama Mon 11-Aug-08 20:25:07

well done for taking their presents from them, they were not being very nice so no reason why they should have presents.

My eighteen month old can drive me to two big glasses of wine in quick succession so no need to feel shame there.

I would agree with justabout, are they asleep? If not I would go into their rooms and talk to them one by one (a nice cuddly talking to) about how silly and dangerous what they did was. If they aren't in the mood to be sensible about it yet, I would make it clear how very angry and upset you are. It's the only way to make them realise - they probably didn't think at all, me and my brothers had a horrendous "pack" mentality when we were little and used to do horrifically dangerous things.

mabanana Mon 11-Aug-08 20:28:17

I think the pack mentality is a new thing and is really upsetting me. They never spoke to me like this before. I just felt so helpless. I don't want to keep ratcheting up the punishments.
ps thanks for any sympathy!

georgimama Mon 11-Aug-08 20:30:37

Wouldn't suggest lots of punishment but they do need to know that what they did was silly, potentially dangerous, and could have had bad consequences, and that you were upset.

Start afresh tomorrow! Have another glass of wine.

mabanana Mon 11-Aug-08 20:33:38

expect a slagging becuase MN seems to specialise in kicking when down atm! Especialloy if you admit to less than perfect parental reaction.

georgimama Mon 11-Aug-08 20:36:55

oh god no, haven't you seen the "motherhood delusion" thread? It's fabulous.

CompletelyDotty Mon 11-Aug-08 20:44:27

oh dear! yes kids can be awful but you didn't do anything wrong in my opinion! it's dangerous for them to mess around with their seat belts and they probably know it, so it's understandable that you took their pressies away. hope you are ok, put your feet up when they are in bed asleep xx

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