Mums of twin boys or more than one boy can you tell me how I could have handled this better?????(27 Posts)
Tried to do the dreaded school shoe shopping 1st time so all 3 dc were excited.
Had to go in a couple of other shops 1st and my twin (4nearly 5 year old) boys were a nightmare. Loads of giggling, rolling around on the floor,showing off to each other etc. I said no quite nicely to begin with, then not so nicely,then separated them, then said they couldn't look at the toys when my 3 year old dd did to which one said "oh bother" they then both collapsed in a fit of giggles. Old couple in the queue said "oh aren't they lovely" and spent the next 5 mins cooing over them . They are frogmarched back to the car.
We then progress to the shoe shop,even worse running around as we were waiting a loooong time. There were loads of free assistants in the cupboard who just ignored us. I try loud hissing, then throw the shoes back on the shelf as I'm trying not to cry and march them out telling them that the ones they had their hearts set on will be sold out by the time we get to go back and if they don't behave next time they'll be the only boys at big school in Doodles
Next Asda.Twin 1 decides to continually pinch little sis in the double trolley,twin 2 now being a star. I explain we need food as going to grandmas next week and need lots of snacks for trips out etc. The hoo ha in the trolley gets so bad I end up shouting that I'd be ringing grandma to check that she still wants us so now have 3 very upset crestfallen kids who meekly go round Asda and I feel crap that what should have been a nice day was a stressfest.
I'm finding that as the boys get older they are so silly at times,in jokes(poo featuring heavily) that they think are hysterical, lots of bear cub type rolling around,copying each other etc. I find they get so over excited I have to get really cross to snap them out of it iykwim I'm an ex primary teacher with excellent class management skills and I read the "How to Talk" book so why the hell do I have to constantly turn into dragon mother to make them listen?????
So how else should I have handled today????????
What is the best way to deal with 4/5 year old boys and the sillies when they are your own???????
Is it a twin thing or can all brothers be like this?????
Soooo need a coffee but dare not as may just implode
No advice but sympathies. I have three DSs and they drive me mad sometimes. Ask any mumsnetter who has had the misfortune to have a day out with us .
I have two DSs with a 4 year age gap and they can be just the way your twins were today. I have no advice really - mainly because I would have handled it the same way as you and then (just like you) have a major guilt trip about it! Am interested to see what others suggest......am constantly feeling like I am nagging at them when they are just having some fun.
have 2 DS - one of 5 and one of 3 - we are strating to get lots of this......to be honest and it might sound obvious but for the times I really need them to behave....e.g. big shop at supermarket or shoes for school thing then I will incentivise..... just something little like.... they get to choose a magazine at end of shop or hot chocolate promise in the cafe. Anyway - seems to work the times I have to pull it out of the bag!!! Totally sympathise though - boys can be very silly....
You're doing wonderfully taking 3 under 5s round the shops and looking forward to it.
So, how about divide and conquer? Take them one at a time? Yes, it would take longer, yes, you'd have to call in favours but one is SO much easier than two, so I imagine, two would be easier than three, and one would be an absolute breeze in comparison to three.
The other thing is when did they get time to get rid of their energy? Half an hour in the park, shoe shop, half an hour in the park? Leave the food shop until you can do it on your own?
You know the drill - pre-empt the problem rather than react. So, plan the next occasion like you would a class . Get to the shoe shop as it opens, so you don't have to wait, have a "treat" lined up for when it goes smoothly i.e. park or yummy breakfast next and tell them you'll send them to school in welly boots if they mention the words poo, fart, burp, stinky feet or roll on the floor within the next ten minutes.
No it's not a twin thing my two DSs are the same Ds1 is 8 and DS 2 just turned 4. DS2 is always very exhuberant but DS1 is very calm on his own. Unfortunately DS2 gets him going and they will end chasing each other all over the palce and rolling round on the floor. I am with rydercup on the incentivise thing. Sometimes just the threat that we are going to leave and go home if they don't calm down will have the desired effect. Othertimes threatening to cancel a promised trip to the cinema or promising a magazine or at the moment 'gogos' are a good bribe if that's the way you want to go. However I do usually try to have an incentive if I know I'm going to have to do some chore type errand where I know they are going to get bored.
However I totally sympathise. On one occasion I was trying to sort out a bank account at the bank and they were just mad (esp with the automaric doors which they kept running through). Most people were going 'ahh how sweet' but it was driving me crazy. Eventually the very kind bank manager gave us our own speical room and dealt with us personally due to their 'exhuberant' behaviour. However I was completely mortified at having lost control of them!!!
Hey superwoman, no way could I have done shoe shopping followed by the supermarket shop - and I've only got 2 dcs! Ds(4) fortunately likes shopping, in fact it's a treat used to get him to behave, but dd(2) is an aisle wanderer & shelf-unstacker. Last time we went to Next, an angry dd left the store hoist over my shoulder
Tis why I internet shop now & the dcs greet the van driver like an old friend .
I've only got one little boy to handle and yet I frequently end up roaring in the supermarket.
no sorry i dont knwo how you could have handled it better
i have 2 boys 18 montsh apart and they are MUCh worse. i tried to sell them on eBay but got no bids
Having a terrible time with DS (4.6) and DS (2.11) atm. Favourite occupations are copying each other/competing to be naughtiest, winding up Mummy, running off in shops, fighting/biting each other and any child that comes near. General attention seeking and boredom, to be honest!
I have employed a dual personality. In prep for primary school I was drilling DS1 to get dressed himself and pretended I was his teacher-to-be. In stern voice "Mrs Teacher says, time to get changed, quiet please, well done, now line up outside the class. ding ding ding". The DS's love this game and will do anything for Mrs Teacher. Would this work for you or too close to home? .
What he will do next month when he discovers Mrs Teacher is nothing like he thinks....
Ha ha, had to laugh when I read this. I have a dd (5 today) and another dd (7). Saying 'poo' is the funniest thing EVER to them, 'woman' also seems to create hysterics and their lastest is to constantly repeat 'daddy's got a girlfriend' together on the bus if my ex talks to a woman .
I get very embarrassed but have found that if I overly praise one for something tiny then the other thinks, hmm that's not fair I want to be bigged up. On occassion it has turned the whole situation around so they are actually doing whatever they can to please me most. That maybe a competative girl thing?
I think I would have done a lot worse! I'm sure the phrase "You made an absolute SHOW of me!!!!" is imprinted on the brains of my eldest 2!
And it is good that 'poo' is deemed a naughty word in their books. Could be a lot worse, at least that's what I reassure myself
Ds1 is just like this with ds2, they are 5 and 2. I don't have class management skills so am afraid I shout.
Mine are 3 and 2 and they already do poo talk and roll around copying each other and ignoring me
Oh you have so made me feel 100% better. Two boys here only 18mnths apart and oh boy were they tear inducing on Saturday. I offered them to the delightful woman who tutted in Costco. I wouldn't mind but as I was trying my best to contain them, pay and ensure everything was put back in my trolley I actually felt like saying to her "You think you can do any better - be my guest!!" . I am normally reduced to removing favorite toys for a period of time and banning computer time on return home. We have now resorted to a Good Behaviour chart again. Funnily enough they've done well today. As for "potty" talk I normally say "I beg your pardon I didn't actually understand that - could you speak properly please". That works quite well, but luckily we don't get much of that. Try a large glass of wine in the evening it helps.
Could I also point out that they don't have to be both boys to be a nightmare to shop with. I have a 7 year old ds and 5 year old dd and I have pretty much given up shopping of any sort with them in tow. I buy their shoes and clothing when they are not present and if it doesn't fit, I return it. the only time I do food shopping with them is at stores that give free food samples (luckily they are not uncommon here in the usa), because it keeps them occupied.
I don't know quite what it is about shopping...guess it's just soooo boring for them. My dc's are generally very well behaved and I can even take them to fancy restaurants and get great behavior out of them. But clothing stores and supermarkets brings the absolute devil out of them. It does help that now that ds can read, I send him off to the cereal section to find a cereal without hydrogenated vegetable oils and that keeps him occupied for a nice length of time!!
My boy and girl (7&4) do this sort of stuff as well. Nightmare. I cannot BEAR the sillyness, ganging up, embarrassment and being totally ignored. So glad to hear other people lose their rag too!
the oldest (girl) was never like this! Big age gap though between her and the littlies.
I think it's having two of them together. They egg each other on.
I had something similar with my 3 and 6 year old boys. I left the oldest with granny next time I went shopping, so the youngest got out, got a treat at the cafe, a toy in the toyshop, came home to tell his brother all he had missed out on. I did the same the next time. The third time the oldest begged to come. "Yes, only if you behave well, if not, it is straight back to granny". It was the oldest egging the younger on.
Don't tkae boys shopping!
Or if you have to - short bursts with a promise of a greggs sausage roll for good behaviour.
We did the shoe shop run. Went first thing in the mrning - had a bit of silliness, but as no queue not much.
Both got shoes, got sausage roll, whilst they were occupied scoffing, got some bits i neede in Woolies and home. that is about s much as i can tolerte.
Got to go into town this morning for some holiday bits. Wish hme luck!
wow i would only take my 2 ds's shopping unless it was urgent, otherwise i'd either take someone with me or take them seperately! i do sympathise with you.
My dh dreads shopping with the kids!
If i do go in they get threatened to get black crosses on their charts b4 we get in the lift and bribed ALOT with food and ticks for there charts and i keep it to 1 hour MAX
i have 4 boys, i guess the littlest doesnt really count yet as he is only 18 months but the other 3 are just the same as the rest described on here.
i have been known to get home in tears when they have been really bad. usual punishments - no tv etc, but i find the carrot works better than the stick, if they are good i will take them to the pound shop or get them a magazine. this still only has a 50% success rate.
i do everything online. last year i put out an appeal on mn for people to draw round their kids feet and meaure them so i knew what width shoes i needed to buy! i will always be grateful to the mner who came to my rescue
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