Are anyone's children aged arounbd two years apart? What's it like?

[Gateau]

Hi there,
Our DS is nearly 16 months and DH and I are now considering trying for another baby. IF I conceived immediately, there would be a two year (or just over) gap between the DCs. Can anyone with experience please tell me what this sort of gap is like? Or is there an 'easier' gap?

[Othersideofthechannel]

21 months. Very hard work for the first couple of years. Great now they are 3 and 5.

[TrinityRhino]

very hard for the first couple of years

we are still in the first coupkle of years so I'm just hoping it does get better

[Gateau]

That's good to know, otherside.
Am also a little worried about coping alone when DH is out at work. My parents, SIL etc are really supportive but live too far away and we are planning to move bnearer to them, byut that could take a while. My ILS aren't that much help, really.
but I suppose I'll manage - I did with DS.

[FrazzledFairyFay]

Mine are about 21 months apart - now 14 months and 2.11, and tbh it's chaos! It does mean that they will be close in age when it comes to school, etc. I'm told it gets easier, and I'm just praying it does .

[giddly]

Mine are 9m and 2.9 years and yes, it is hard work, but not as bad as I expected TBH. They now go to a childminder 2 short days while I work, but I have no other help from family apart from DH who works very long hours, so I'm essentially a single mother during the week. I do feel torn with two such small kids who need attention, but once you get a bit of a routine going it's OK. I think the trick is to get out the house as much as possible!

[wessexgirl]

There are 21 months between mine; it was hard work for a couple of years, but now dd2 has just turned 3 it's LOVELY! They play together all the time and are so fond of each other (though they still row at least once a day).

I really like this age gap and am glad I went for it .

[FoghornLeghorn]

We have 2yr 4 months between DD1 and DD2 and there will be a 21 month gap between DD2 and DC3 whenever he/she decides to put in an appearance. They are 4, 21 months and newborn (to be)
I found the first 6 months with the 2 DDs a doddle, once DD2 became more mobile everything changed. It is hard work but I just try and keep working towards the easier years that everyone keeps telling me about.

Good Luck

[Gateau]

Thanks everyone.
Yes, getting out of the house IS easier, even with one.
It means they are less likely to hurt themselves and you are less likely to have to chase them round the house, constantly saying "no, NO ,no." It is EXHAUSTING!!!

[MrsBates]

Between 1 and 2 is 21 month gap and between 2 and 3 is 2 years 4 months. For us it works brilliantly. DD1 and DS are best of friends (aged nearly 5 and just 3) and both adore the new one. We did - and still do - work very hard at helping them get on with each other and make sure they get individual time whenever possible too. Was worried about the second baby and whether they'd get on etc but has all been fine. In fact it has been much easier to get things done etc because they play together so happily so I feel more sorry for people with the demands of only one now! I imagine there's no ideal gap so just go for it!

[wessexgirl]

Mrs Bates, your older two must be almost exactly the same age as mine.

One thing that was difficult at first was the pram/pushchair situation. With hindsight, I'd have bought a really good sling and used that for the first six months, with a lightweight buggy for the older one - my friend did this and had none of the problems I had with massive bulky heavy double buggy.

[Gateau]

Very encouraging MrsBates. THanks

[FabioFridgeFluffFrenzy]

Sorry, but I think 2 years is a hideous age gap, and I speak from experience.

I think a bit less than 2 and nearly 3 are better age gaps.

Given what I now know, I'd go for 18 months and 3+ years as age gaps.

[Quattrocento]

It's lovely tbh. They play together all the time and are one another's best friends really. It's always been lovely and not too hard honestly.

[Slouchy]

"Best Friends and Best Fighters"
my girls' have this catchphrase; it is absolutlely true of their relationship.

There are 2y2mo between them.

[AnAngelWithin]

have got 4. all 2 years between each one. Hard work but so worth is cos they are very close!

[kittywise]

much easier than 1 year apart

no seriously 2 years apart is easy

[AnAngelWithin]

i think its just hard work for me cos i've got 4 of the little buggers!

[MrsBates]

Yes - pushchair thing is a pain - don't think we've ever quite cracked it. Now have a Phil and Ted's which is expensive but am hoping to not muck it up too much and sell it on ebay. Used sling at first, with normal cheap buggy but DS still has naps so needs to sit down when out - as does little one. It seems to be working and wish we'd got one of those in the first place. DD1 didn't need naps and is a keen walker so hadn't ben necessary with the first gap.

So good to read Quattrocento saying it's lovely. It really can be despite the work. Worth it to see them together as they are right now - which is how come I'm fiddling about typing here instead of getting something else done! Better go and do important things.

[SixSpotBurnet]

DS1 and DS2 are almost exactly two years apart.

I do remember finding it very hard when DS1 was two and DS2 was a newborn.

But by the time DS1 was about 3 3/4 and DS2 was 1 3/4 things were getting a lot easier, I felt quite confident about managing them both in the park, playground or whatever. And they started to play together a lot more, which they still do now all the time (they're 9 and 7 now).

All in all I would say it was a very good age gap. I reckon any bigger than that and you run the risk that they won't play together so much (okay I know there are no guarantees, but still).

[SixSpotBurnet]

I don't think pushchair thing is a problem really. We had a double buggy at first, then switched to having a buggy board and a normal buggy.

[SixSpotBurnet]

I disagree with wessexgirl - I found it absolutely exhausting trying to do long walks with DS2 in the sling and DS1 in the buggy! I used to be practically on my knees by the time we got home!

[nailpolish]

i didnt havea double buggy
i used a sling or dd1 sat on the seat2go
she often fell asleep on it too

i like having a 2 yr gap. i would recommend it. mine are exactly 24mths apart. its easy on a day to to day basis cos they enjoy doing the same things, they like same movies and they share some friends, you dont have stuff like bikes clothes etc lying around for ages waiting to get passed down

i ws 24mths older than my brother and we are very close

[Gateau]

At 2(ish) would the older child not be happy with a buggy board? I don't know - just asking..
Have seen a contraption - a little seat thing - that fits onto the side of prams/buggies. IMO It's really ugly, though. Reminded me of the 'George and Mildred's' sidecar.

[nailpolish]

yes my dd1 used a buggy board from age 2

who cares if they are ugly, they work!

[pointydog]

26 month gap. I found it very hard during the first two years, very hard, but there were various factors contributing to that. But once we got over the first few years, it's been a good age difference. Close enough to be friends, always liked the same holidays and outings.

There is no ideal gap. If you both want another child now, just do it.