a bit of a moan. Sorry(12 Posts)
I'm going to apologise in advance. I'm 38weeks+4 days with twins and ratty as hell but here goes........
DH and I have two DS's 7 and 4 years old. I get up with them during the week for breakfast, wash, teeth etc and he usually drops them off at school on his way to work. We live virtually opposite the school so I don't usually wake him till 8am ( with coffee I might add!)
At the weekends I usually get up with them again, sometimes I can stay in bed and doze but after a while they start play fighting which then escalates and needs sorting out. Once we're up they'll have breakfast, play, watch TV but there comes a point when they have to go out. We don't have a garden so this involves a trip to the playground or park.
On the rare occasions that I can persuade DH to get up with them on the weekends I wake up to the sound of fighting. The boys will still be in pyjamas, going stir crazy with DH on the computer shouting at them to "go and find something to do." I firmly believe that children should be able to entertain themselves for a while but there are limits. If I can make the effort to take them out is it too much to ask him to do the same? Does anyone else have any experiences like this with their DH/DP or did I just pull the short straw 'park visiting' wise. I must add that in all other ways DH is fantastic with them, it's just weekend mornings which seem to cause friction.
I think you should make him do his share. Why should you be the only one who gets up? And especially now, if you're heavily pregnant with twins. 8am! We do take it in turns to get up and lie in in our house and 8am is certainly considered a lie in. I'd be as ratty as hell too in your position.
We tend to take turns getting up at the weekends. Dh gets up first on a Saturday and it's his turn to lie-in on a Sunday.
I think you've got every right to complain. Your children have a father who is perfectly capable of getting out of bed in the mornings. I'm betting he manages to get out of bed early Monday to Friday eh? I bet right now you need that extra rest far more than he does!
Dh works shifts so when he has a day off he will get up dd and give breakfast brush her teeth etc.. dress her (but i re do coz i am a bit colour cordinated he isn't.
Well DH and me have a deal which we made when DS was about 1 and not to reliant on me. We would have a lie in day; mine was saturday and DHs was Sunday.
On Saturday he would get up with DS, get him sorted and take him out first thing (they usually went to places like softplay, swimming, steam railway etc) and I would do te same on the Sunday, get up and out first thing. We both then had a lie in or a few hours to ourself and DS had some quality time on his own with his Dad.
my dh works odd times, if he doesnt have to go to work in the mornings he will get up with ds, HOWEVER he doesnt give ds his breakfast, or change him or take his nappy off (ds in pants during day, nappy during night)...soooo basically dh will wake up with him but thats all, i come down to find the room looks like a bomb has gone off and dh on the computer.
i might add that if ds has done a poo in his nappy i have to get up because dh somehow lost his ability to change a nappy somewhere down the line
Put out their clothes the night before (remove that excuse before it starts) and tell him exactly where to go and for how long, or if it's raining exactly which toys and books to busy them with.
Tell him what time you will be leaving the bedroom, and do not deviate from that however bad it sounds. If he chooses to ignore explicit instructions that's his problem.
I work from home and I literally have to leave everything out (food, Pjs) and notes or I come out of the music room after my last student and dh and bob are still happily playing well past bedtime with ds starving but too tired to eat and no bath or anything.
It was like he thought he was "babysitting" bob until I was ready to do all the mum stuff again. It wasn't laziness though, he was very grateful when I gave him a list as the time goes quicker doing something practical than making another lego tower.
bubble 99 - in any other circumstances I would say it's only fair to take turns, as others have indicated, but at 38 weeks pg with twins?? ou need all the rest you can get. I think your dh needs a bit of a wake up call (metaphorically and literally!) Let's face it in two weeks EVERYTHING is going to change like never before and there's no way he's going to be able to get his lie ins, he'll have to get up and not just leave them to their own devices. You have all my sympathy. If tehre is any chance of a pre-birth, relaxed meal togther or similar then do it and make sure you have a really good talk through. good luck
Oh dear, your dh is in for a bit of a shock when the twins are born. Its constant nappy changing and feeding time then!!!
Don't worry I don't think he'll be having too many lie ins in the next few months either
If my dp doesn't do his share in the entertainment and cleaning department, I screech like a banshee. If I ever came in from work to find ds still dressed and not fed, I would screech like a banshee (I finish work at 8:30). And rather than saying "You need to.." I find saying "DS needs you to..." is far more effective.
All these things used to be regular occurances, but I really had to hammer home the fact that he is DS's father, not my Au Pair!
bubble99, c'mon honey. Time to change the rules in your house. Your DH has gotta pull his weight. Trust me, he's had it easy up to now but there will be no choice with the twins. Talk to him and tell him that things need to change now because once itsy and bitsy come it's relentless. You won't have the energy to get up with the older kids much less get them ready for school. Trust me, I know. I haven't done the school run in almost 2 years. My DH knows that I just don't have the energy or the time.
Unplug the mouse and keyboard and hide them before you go to bed on a Friday night.
Hugs, hun and I hope the twins are here soon (and your DH will realise how easy he used to have it...!).
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