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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

talk to me about your experiences of having a newborn baby in the house

17 replies

miamla · 09/08/2008 14:04

i feel like we're "winging" it at the moment. DS gets fed when he wakes up and asks for it and the rest of the time he sleeps. He seems to be nocturnal with mammoth feeding sessions during the night. I'm bf in case that makes a difference to advice offered

I'm just wondering if we should be in more of a routine by now (DS is 9 days old)

OP posts:

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deanychip · 09/08/2008 14:10

We had no recognisable routine for a couple of months i will be honest.
The first days/weeks were spent not sleeping, staring anxiously/adoringly/unbelieving at our baby. Doing as he bade really.
I think that you are doing fine.

lou031205 · 09/08/2008 14:20

I wouldn't be looking for a routine unless you are willing to drive yourself mad, or are quite happy for it to be broken anyway. Newborns don't tend to read rule books.

DD1 was completely nocturnal until 12 weeks, then started sleeping at 7pm, but waking a few times a night for a quick feed.

DD2 has been a really tough cookie with regards sleep, and turns one next week. Until 5 weeks ago, she would feed all evening in my arms, and wake 7 or 8 times a night. She now sleeps in her cot 1900-0600 straight through.

Don't feel that your actions now will dictate his behaviours later - he is tiny, and needs his mummy to respond to his needs.

mankymummy · 09/08/2008 14:23

routine in a 9 day old?!!!

no way. what you describe is normal.

sleep when DS sleeps, sod the housework and enjoy your baby. it all goes soooooo quickly !

and by the way, "winging it" is what we all do. im still winging it now and DS is 3 in a couple of weeks !!!!

Elmosgirl · 09/08/2008 14:24

Sounds fine, I didn't consider any sort of routine til around 6 weeks and my babies started to do it themselves with more regular feeding at set times. Til then just went with the flow both times.

MrsMattie · 09/08/2008 14:26

9 days old = everything is all over the place. Nothing is 'normal' or 'abnormal' at this stage, as long as your baby is eating, sleeping and poo-ing regularly. Don't put any pressure on yourself to do anything other than feed and sleep and eat cake. It will be several weeks, perhaps months, before your baby is ready for anything remotely resembling a routine.

theinsider · 09/08/2008 14:27

I agree with the others, no recognisable routine for weeks and weeks, if not months. All your ds needs is to sleep and eat and have cuddles.

Winging it is fine, and normal, as is nocturnalism. I'm not sure if there is an evolutionary reason but I think it's really common for newborns to feed more at night. You can mark the difference between night and day-time for them right from the start (with lighting, lowered voices etc) and by 6-8 weeksish he should start having longer periods of sleep at night.

It sounds like your baby has everything he needs. Make sure you look after yourself too. Decent nutritious meals and sleep. Add up the bits of sleep and try to get at least 7 hours. Then you'll be in the best position to look after your lovely new ds.

And congratulations, BTW.

Hoonette · 09/08/2008 14:29

I still feel as though I'm winging it and DS is 16 months.

Even once you do get a routine going, you'll find it only lasts for a fortnight and then the baby changes his ways.

As others have said, you are responding to his needs and that is exactly right. He may get himself into a routine eventually, or he may not - imo it's better to be flexible rather than enforce a rigid routine.

It gets easier after three months

MrsMattie · 09/08/2008 14:30

I think the 'feeding more at night' thing in newborns is linked to stimulating milk production in some way. Someone who knows about all things BF will be along in a minute to confirm!

And yes, Congrats!

hughjarssss · 09/08/2008 14:33

Sounds exactly the same as my dd behaved. She was complatlry nocturnal and never even hardly opened her eyes in the daytime!
She found her own routine in the end.

The best piece of advice I recieved, was that you can't spoil a little baby. Cuddle and enjoy him. Forget about routines, he's way too young. It really does fly by

lou031205 · 09/08/2008 14:37

You are right MrsMattie - prolactin is the hormone for milk production, and it is most prolific at 2-4 am. That is part of why some mums in neonatal units find it hard to maintain a supply for expressing, because they express in the day, and then don't overnight, so prolactin is reduced. The first question we would ask if a mum said about low supply was "are you pumping regularly, including at night?" 9 times out of 10, the mum hadn't realised how important night pumping was.

bogie · 09/08/2008 14:39

we had no routine untill ds was 2 years old we moved house 4 times

franke · 09/08/2008 14:43

Ahhh - it sounds lovely Those early days are so special and over so quickly. You and your baby are just beginning to get to know each other and make sense of it all - that's what you do for the first few weeks. Baby will find his own routine as long as you are as relaxed and responsive as you can be. Enjoy this time!

miamla · 09/08/2008 19:16

thanks guys, as i expected, lots of sensible advice there!

I think its mine and DP's sleep opportunities that we're lacking at the moment. Its a good idea to add up the bits we're getting

thanks again, I really appreciate all your replies

OP posts:

elmoandella · 09/08/2008 19:30

u sleep when baby sleep. specially when bf.

since dh is doing none of the feeds thru the night and is getting sleep, he can do the housework/meals.

you need a good couple of weeks rest. specially if you have any sort of stitches. i had stiches down below and burst mine from doing too much. took me months to even be able to go to shops after that. if you had cs you will have been advised not to do anything for 6 weeks.

miamla · 10/08/2008 13:13

elmoandella, thank you. you said exactly what I needed to hear but was having trouble accepting. I did have stitches for a 2nd degree but have still been doing my share of stuff round the house, going for long walks etc. The last thing I want to do is damage myself so I'm slowing down now to the extent that I'm still in my pyjamas today

lots of your replies were making me feel quite weepy. I hadn't realised that I'd lost sight of the beautiful miracle I was holding in my arms.

DS has been really grizzly for the last 12 hours, seems to just want a cuddle and you know what, that's exactly what he's going to get.

thanks again

OP posts:

MarsLady · 10/08/2008 13:14

That all sounds as it should be. I hope you're resting when he does.

elmoandella · 10/08/2008 18:45

with 2nd degree stitching i wouldn't advise doing any heavy lifting, standing for long periods (what a shame ironing is out then) and long walks is definately out.

not until your stitchin dissolves(you know what i mean) is the guideline i was given

relax, enjoy time with baby.

this bonding time is also very important to making a good milk supply.

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