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Banishing the dummy - replace with an 'attachment object' or not?

(18 Posts)
DisplacementActivity Fri 08-Aug-08 11:45:09

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beckmo Fri 08-Aug-08 13:41:02

When DD was 11 months I took her dummy away as she was asking for it constantly in the day and was crying for it if I didn't give it to her-it was becoming a permanent fixture plus she was waking in the night for it.
I did it cold turkey. I would say it took a week for her to completely forget about it. Daytime and nightime weren't actually a problem but her daytime nap was REALLY difficult for her and me. She was like an addict coming off a drug and I really doubted my decision.It seemed so cruel I'm not syure I could do it again. However 2 months on it has been worth it. Her language has come on loads and I'm not forever rummaging for a dummy to pacify her with.And I can look a back and think it was only a week...but at the time it was really difficult and I probably wouldn't do it with my next child.

I didn't plan to give her another attachment object but she has become attached herself to a couple of teddies without me prompting it.Probably wouldn't it I was you..she will settle without a dummy after a few days and not need anything else to get to sleep.

cafebistro Fri 08-Aug-08 13:49:53

My DS is nearly 3 and still has a dummy for bed blush. But ONLY when he's in bed, he has never had it at other times except when he was very small. In the morning i take the dummy put it out of reach for the day and bring it out again when im putting him in bed. I personally dont have a problem with this...most people dont even realise he has it, and he doesnt ask for it during the day.
Im hoping he will just grow out of it in his own time. If you want to stop the dummy i think cold turkey is probably the way to go. I wouldnt consciously swop one comfort for another.....you may just be swopping one problem for another. smile

cocolepew Fri 08-Aug-08 13:52:32

81/2 months?! cold hearted woman my DD used to suck a toy car when I stopped her having it downstairs when she was 4.

Neeerly3 Fri 08-Aug-08 13:57:46

8 1/2 months you can only go cold turkey really - as you can't use the 'dummy fairy' or 'you're not a baby anymore, lets wrap it up and give it to someone who needs it' technique.....i think my two were 2.5 when we gave them up and that was a combo of cold turkey and discussing and encouraging.

You either do it or you don't, if you take it away then give in after a few days, the next time you try it will be harder as they will remember that you caved in last time!

I wish you luck and strength and ear plugs!

inaquandary Fri 08-Aug-08 14:27:28

Both mine had their dummies for sleep until 3 (ish) Ds nearly 4 (oh now the horror or it!!) - but I would go with the majority cold turkey definately - good luck

DisplacementActivity Fri 08-Aug-08 17:04:00

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misselizabethbennett Fri 08-Aug-08 17:11:27

My DS was nearly 4 when he gave his up. Personally I found it a godsend as a comforter when upset and to help him sleep. He was an excellent talker and no problems with teeth, so I have no regrets. By the end he only had it in bed, so when he gave it up we had one night of pitiful sobbing, one of some crying, and then nothing at all. He always had a blanket as well, so continued to have this (still has it now at 6, but more from habit than need tbh).

LynseyKCalvert Fri 08-Aug-08 17:15:17

No exp of dummies, not a fan and thankfully never needed to use one. That said I wonder what the motives are here. Children have an urge to suckle that lasts well into to toddlerhood.
While I don't like to see an older baby/toddler running around with a dummy I think it's acceptable to use at nap/bedtime.

Children are designed to suckle for a number of years and for those that are weaned from the breast early taking away the dummy (breast)before they're ready makes me a bit sad.

DisplacementActivity Fri 08-Aug-08 17:39:28

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DisplacementActivity Fri 08-Aug-08 17:40:12

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Shoegazer Fri 08-Aug-08 19:39:25

We stopped using the dummy at 10 months, just went cold turkey and she needed some extra comforting for a couple of night but then replaced it herself with chickchick the mad staring purple chicken hmm

LyndseyKcalvert, if children are designed to suckle for a number of years as you say, what do you believe the long term effects are of the suckling object (breast, dummy, bottle whatever) being taken away? And what evidence backs that up?

DisplacementActivity Fri 08-Aug-08 20:30:28

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fishie Fri 08-Aug-08 20:39:37

ds took up dummy at 2yo, from cm's son (a bit younger). it was all very interesting because he was bf and so i just didn't let him have dummy at home at all, but he obviously felt it a great comfort.

it was a bit spooky though, when he did use it at home he sort of spaced out - we did use it a couple of times on long car journeys.

DisplacementActivity Fri 08-Aug-08 20:52:26

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DisplacementActivity Fri 08-Aug-08 20:53:06

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fishie Fri 08-Aug-08 20:59:48

it is odd because he would run around at cm's house with dummy in. at home he would just stare into space.

theressomethingaboutmarie Thu 14-Aug-08 08:32:46

We gave DD a dummy when she was 2 weeks old as we were exhausted and needed to sleep! She very quickly got to the stage where she wanted it constantly and would wake up in the night crying for it (we never put her to bed with it). When she was waking up about 10/20 times a night crying for it (I had given the dummy to her but it had fallen out as she dropped off to sleep), we decided that enough was enough.

We then completely banished the dummy and within about 3/4 days, she forgot all about it (they were long days though!). We actually took a couple of long flights recently and took a dummy with us just in case she got really upset. She wasn't in the slightest bit interested in it.

We replaced the dummy with a muslin. Now, when we are doing her evening feed, we give her a muslin which she strokes her face with as she drops off. She doesn't really get to sleep without one.

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