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This is wrong, isn't it?

(33 Posts)
MamaGLovesMe Mon 04-Aug-08 17:54:25

More often than not the kids will ask me to do something with, or for them, and I will say in a minute, hang on, not at the moment, as I am usually in the middle of something.

Should I be stopping what I am doing to do what they want more often than not?

I feel so bad about it but am really struggling atm. I realise while I was a brilliant nanny, I am not a natural mum. sad

MarkStretch Mon 04-Aug-08 17:56:33

I do that ALL the time. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

And quite often what I am doing, I consider to be more important than what they want me to do.

lizziemun Mon 04-Aug-08 17:59:22

I do it all the time. Now when i ask dd1 (4.6yrs) to do something she said 'i do in a minute'blush grin.

Mind you she always asks when i doing something i can't stop.

ladymariner Mon 04-Aug-08 17:59:54

Kids have an inbuilt radar that lets them know when you are too busy to do something with them, so that you will say no then be eaten up with guilt and thus be more open to their next suggestion grin
You are not a bad mother, you are a normal mother!!!

MarkStretch Mon 04-Aug-08 18:00:20

Plus, I may be wrong but a Nanny is something you do professionally. You get paid, you look after other people's children and you can have a day off!

Parenting is not.

Don't feel bad.

MamaGLovesMe Mon 04-Aug-08 18:02:30


Thank you.

I can't tell you how much that means to me, all your support.

No doubt someone will say I am wrong but it is good to have some who say I am not.

trefusis Mon 04-Aug-08 18:08:15

Message withdrawn

MarkStretch Mon 04-Aug-08 18:08:17

Sorry I would reply but I'm too busy. I'll do it in a minute.


meemar Mon 04-Aug-08 18:08:32

You are a natural mum.

The nature of being a mum is that you are always in the middle of something, and kids are a constant interruption grin

MamaGLovesMe Mon 04-Aug-08 18:09:43

grin at MS.

tribpot Mon 04-Aug-08 18:12:37

I do this all the time. I thought ds was particularly bad because dh typically isn't doing anything else (chronically ill / dishwasher-phobic) so he's used to instant attention when I'm not here.

But clearly all children are designed to torture their parents in the same way!

TillyScoutsmum Mon 04-Aug-08 18:13:52

Imho, I don't think it would do dc's any favours to drop everything every single time they want your attention. Sometimes you have to wait for things in life - probably best they learn that sooner rather than later..

One of my friends allows her dd to interrupt all the time - its really annoying if we're mid conversation and her dd wants to share some very inane and non urgent fact with her and she stops talking to me immediately and starts talking to her.

tiggerlovestobounce Mon 04-Aug-08 18:15:11

I think this is OK (Well I hope it is blush )

SazzlesA Mon 04-Aug-08 18:15:11

Message withdrawn

TillyScoutsmum Mon 04-Aug-08 18:17:31

DSD uses the cuddle one a lot as well.... its almost like she's cottoned on to the fact that we'll make her wait a few minutes for a drink or food or whatever but its much harder to turn down a cuddle

LittlePeanut Mon 04-Aug-08 18:19:05

Blimey I say "in a MINUTE!!!!" all the time! Not that it stops my DD from asking me agin... and again... and again... and again...

They have got to learn that they can't have you every minute of every day! Life's not like that, is it?

So, you are in fact teaching them a valuable lesson, see? wink

purpleduck Mon 04-Aug-08 18:33:23

tillyscout beat me to what I wanted to say

MrsJamin Mon 04-Aug-08 19:14:20

It's definitely NOT wrong - your children have to learn that they are not the centre of the universe and you won't just drop things because they decide they need you! Parents who always do this end up with very demanding children imho. I do it with my 7 MO DS - he's not too young to learn to wait - even for a few seconds!

belcantavinissima Mon 04-Aug-08 19:30:54

i used to shout 'in a minute' every morning to ds1 when he was a baby (and i mean a proper baby like 10 mths or something) when he used to wake up and call us at stupid-o'clock in the morning . after a while he gave up calling us and used to just shout minute!!!! at the top of his voice!!!! grinblush

babylove21 Mon 04-Aug-08 22:54:11

i think sometimes children interrupt to request your attention, what they are asking for may not be that important to them, but your response is. Stopping what you are doing to help them is reinforcing that they are important and gives them a sense of being worthy.
I don't believe they will grow up thinking they are the most inportant thing in the world, just the most important thing in your world.

MarmadukeScarlet Mon 04-Aug-08 23:00:40

Out of interest babylove21 how many DC do you have?

shirleyghostman Mon 04-Aug-08 23:05:49

its part and parcel of being a mum!

littlelamb Mon 04-Aug-08 23:08:43

Do it all the time, especially since ds (8 weeks) has been born. Tbh at first I did feel terribly guilty about it, but I think it is good that dd that dd learns that my world doesn't revolve around her (as harsh as that sounds) and it has taught her to be a bit more patient and considerate.

juuule Mon 04-Aug-08 23:09:41

Belcanta - we had similar in that when I asked our toddlers to do something they would reply minute.

ChasingSquirrels Mon 04-Aug-08 23:11:01

in a minute is no good, it make them believe you will come and do it in a minute - you won't you will move onto the next thing, which you will then be in the middle of the next time they ask.....

Just say NO!

But do make some time to actually do some stuff with them.

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