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Nightmare start to the day! I am hating being a parent atm.

(54 Posts)
Pinkchampagne Sat 26-Jul-08 08:41:23

Woke up to screaming because DS2 had thrown DS1's transformer down the toilet. I went in & the toilet was full of urine because he had obviously been to the toilet first, so flushed it thinking the toy would bob to the surfice. I know I should have saved it using the toilet brush, but I flushed before DS1 put his hand in the toilet. Well the bloody toy flushed away didn't it!!
I sent DS2 to his room for doing something so nasty & told DS1 I would buy him another, but he just went totally hysterical on me saying he didn't want another one, he wanted that one back & he hated me. He then came screaming into my room & started throwing things. He then pinched his brother & continued the hysteria saying he wanted to die.
I have apologised, told him I would replace the toy, told DS2 I would take one of his toys from him. I don't know what else to do.
Every day is a nightmare atm. I am really struggling on my own with these boys. I am sitting here in tears again because I am feeling out of my depth being a mum. I can honestly say that I am not liking being a mother one bit atm.

ThatBigGermanPrison Sat 26-Jul-08 08:43:48

You are not out of your depth, not one bit. Sounds like a fairly normal occurance in a fairly normal house, and you dealt with it fairly well. What do you want, perfection? With 2 boys close in age, bend your knees and be grateful their wasn't blood grin

Seriouusly, it's a crap start to the day - it doesn't have to stay that way.

Pinkchampagne Sat 26-Jul-08 08:46:04

It seems most days are 80% crap atm. I hope things improve!

Pinkchampagne Sat 26-Jul-08 08:49:06

I don't expect perfection, but it is so bloody hard. I am feeling run down.

Pixiefish Sat 26-Jul-08 09:00:00

I hate it when my dd starts the day by screaming as well. Just not what i want of a morning.

Unfortunately as kids get older they do wind each other up and this type of behaviour is pretty normal I think- from what I remember and hearing other people talk.

It's harder if you're on your own as you have no one to help you or reinforce you.

Tell one to stay in his bedroom, put a video on for the other one and go have a coffee on your own for 5 minutes. The kids will be safe and you can hae a time out.

Pinkchampagne Sat 26-Jul-08 09:04:58

It was screaming from DS1 then screaming from DS2 because DS1 had hurt him, then once I went & flushed the bloody toy away there was total hysteria from DS1.
I just feel I am struggling through most days with my boys atm. It is not just this mornings happenings - I am struggling being a mum. Should have changed my name for this thread.

Pinkchampagne Sat 26-Jul-08 09:17:26

Do other people have moments of really not enjoying being a mum? I feel like I am in the minority. I want to enjoy my children but they are such hard work.
I am normally a laid back person, but the boys can turn me into a monster!

charliecat Sat 26-Jul-08 09:20:00

Last week my girls were doing a lot of fighting late at night when I really wanted them to go to bed and be nice and quiet.
Have a word with them, when they ARE being nice and not screaming, say This is how I like our little family to be nice and peaceful and you two are playing beautifully. Much better than that screetching this morning.
What have you got planned for today?

charliecat Sat 26-Jul-08 09:21:53

Last week I was thinking to myself that I wanted to give up, had enough, couldnt do it for any longer.
Wasnt enjoying them or those feelings at all.
Had a nice couple of days since. After at least a week of hell.
At least another 2 mums I know struggle with the not enjoying it either.

Pinkchampagne Sat 26-Jul-08 09:25:00

That is similar to how I have been feeling, CC. You're on your own too aren't you? It can get overwhelming at times can't it?

They are going to a party at 4pm, although DS1 is now saying he doesn't want to go. I might take them to the park in a bit to get them out of the house.

charliecat Sat 26-Jul-08 09:27:36

Completely Overwhelming, yes am on me own too.
Do something like go for an ice cream or see if the local shop sells water balloons(if you can be arsed filling them up) or just something other than sitting in the house with the tension building up.
Good Luck.
But do have a word with them.
Oh the bickering just drains the life out of you doesnt it..

Pinkchampagne Sat 26-Jul-08 09:33:44

It does! I've just told them how much I like it when they play nicely because they have calmed down now, and DS1 said "Yeah, but I still don't like him!"

It is good to get out of the house. My house isn't very big & it is not easy to get them in the garden either.
Their dad is picking them up after the party & I'm staying there for an adult party after, so that should help de stress me later!

charliecat Sat 26-Jul-08 09:43:04

Oh so you have that to look forward to, thats good
I am taking the kids to a little festival so im going to stuck in a very small teepee with the girls so they had better be nice to each other later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pinkchampagne Sat 26-Jul-08 10:09:14

Oh good luck! I hope they behave & you enjoy the festival.smile

charliecat Sat 26-Jul-08 10:38:45

Let me know how your day goes and make sure you enjoy tonight!

Pinkchampagne Sat 26-Jul-08 11:12:42

Thanks, CC, I will have a good try, although may end up consuming too much alcohol!

Calm has been restored here, but sure it won't last long!

Hope you enjoy the festival.

Lizzylou Sat 26-Jul-08 11:19:49

PC, I frequently feel like I am the worst Mother in the world and really don't enjoy some days/parts of days.
My boys are 2 and 4 and never listen to me.
Doesn't help that neighbours son is so well behaved (3yrs old) and they seem to enjoy him so much more, whereas I am frequently holding DS2 down trying to strap him in the carseat whilst he screams blue murder.

AMAZINWOMAN Sat 26-Jul-08 11:34:31

I am alone with two boys too, and people say that I'm a calm and laid back person. I don't always feel it though, I feel I can n ever really relax.

I also agree that being a parent is just so overwhelming. I wanted to run away this morning! Except I don't have the energy!!

It is the relentless that I find hard. Especially housework and cooking. Never getting any time to myself, financial stress, how being a parent has become my life and my life doen't exist

On good days though, I think we are a much stronger team than other families. My boys look out for each other, and always tell me that they love me. They are protective of me too and tell me things that friends don't tell their Mums etc

i think what im saying is that, yes being a parent is s**t.

bohemianbint Sat 26-Jul-08 11:39:26

I'm not alone and quite often feel like a shite mother. So god knows how I'd cope if I was on my own.

I hope your day gets better Pink, I'm sure you're doing amazingly. smile

lizinthesticks Sat 26-Jul-08 12:14:18

"I'm not alone and quite often feel like a shite mother. So god knows how I'd cope if I was on my own."

Absolutely.

Hang in there Pinky!

Pinkchampagne Sat 26-Jul-08 12:19:46

Thank you for all your replies - I am pleased I am not alone in feeling like this.

Just had another episode from DS1 because I asked him to remove the socks he had been wearing all night! I sometimes feel like I am struggling through the day with them.

Pixiefish Sat 26-Jul-08 15:40:27

enjoy your party pink.

I often feel that i struggle with my kids and then we'll have a nice time which makes up for the crap.

charliecat Sun 27-Jul-08 14:00:19

How did it go Pink? Did you have a nice time?
I must say we had a really nice time. Kids were no trouble at all (and I was really crapping myself about going camping with the kids and having to deal with all the driving, setting up, feeding, insect incidents etc on my own)
But it was fine.

Elephantjuice Sun 27-Jul-08 14:20:44

Just wanted to offer my sympathy and support pinkchampagne.

Not that it's the same at all but I recently spent 9 months more or less on my own with the 3 dcs as dh was working away. I think I got a bit of insight into what being a single parent would be like, and you have my great respect! It was realy, really hard.

The thing that helped most was simply a bit of time to myself, away from the dcs. Even an hour just doing the shopping on my own. I could put things into perspective and was pleased to see the kids again afterwards. Don't know if that's possible for you?

We had a very bad day yesterday and I can honestly say I was fed up of my dc and just wanted to be far away from them at that moment. ds(5) (who peed his pants about 4 times yeserday but that's another thread) then woke up screaming in the night, shouting for me and waking up everyone else in the house (we are staying with my parents at the moment so they were not happy!)and when I went to him he only wanted a drink of water. I just about threw the cup at him!

Re the transformer incident, I have found my dc "recover" more quickly if I empathise a lot and don't immediately try to fix things, i.e. talk for while about how it's really rubbish he has lost his toy and you can understand he's very upset and angry. Sometimes I find if I do this for a while they seem to feel better and even suggest solutions themselves. I'm sure you're doing this anyway but thought it was worth mentioning.

Let us know how you are doing.

Pinkchampagne Sun 27-Jul-08 22:10:07

I did tell him I understood he was very upset & angry about the toy, but he wasn't listening as he was blaming me at the time for flushing the damn chain!! I have learnt for any future incidents to hold the toy with the toilet flush before flushing, but I acted before thinking yesterday!

CC - really pleased you had a good time at the festival. I enjoyed my party, and dare I say it but more so after the boys dad picked them up, as I could relax & not have to watch out for DS1 who takes himself into a corner because he can't cope with social situations & have talks with both boys after reports they were pulling down their shorts!blush

Got boys back this morning & took them round to a friends, were they had fun playing in their pool & I got some adult company again. Feeling a lot calmer this evening - lets hope tomorrow is a good day!

Thank you all for your support.smile

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