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OK, so what would your perfect family life be like?

(44 Posts)
Lorien Tue 28-Jan-03 07:51:00

I woke up this morning with a cold and dh is away on business all week and the car wouldn't start and I was late taking ds1 to school, and anyway I'm sure you've all been there.... But then I just started wondering what my PERFECT family life would be like. You know, what would seem the ideal way of balancing time with kids/with partner/ with job/with anything else. I think mine would be something like this (of course totally impractical given my real world...)
KIDS - 4 (no preference on sex)
HELP - At least one full-time nanny, preferably two so that I could have
PART-TIME JOB (used to be a journalist) and exercise my brain cells a little and earn my own MONEY which I could spend with abandon if I wanted and also I could keep up with interesting FRIENDS who didn't talk about babies all the time, and have time to arrange to see my friends with kids at least once a week, and to do something useful to society like visiting an old people's home or cleaninhg up rubbish in the street.
And on top of all that I'd like my dh to take at least 25% of the responsibilty for llooking after the household and the kids. So thats my first thoughts on my perfect life. What about other mumsnetters?

WideWebWitch Tue 28-Jan-03 09:05:47

Oooh, my wish list is:

Having more money and owning our house
Having another child (just one)
Part time au pair/nanny for school run plus 1 hour
Not having to work unless it was something I enjoyed, part time (like writing)
Losing a stone
Having a cleaner
Having more intelligent, interesting friends locally

Just realised they're all achievable (maybe) in theory so maybe I should make these my goals. Mmmm.

Ghosty Tue 28-Jan-03 09:48:52

I would like to have enough money to be able to choose exactly what house I wanted ... not have to be within a budget...
Would like someone to organise me ... and tidy up after me so that I could play with my son all the time!
Would like to be one of those people who doesn't put on weight when pg ... and get back into size 10s the day I leave hospital ... (still can't get into size 10s and DS is 3 ...)
Would like one of those children that sleep from 6pm to 8/9am (they DO exist ... honest ... my best friend has one ...)
Would like DH to treat me like a princess ... like he used to when we were young and in love ...
Would like to travel home to the UK once a year (First Class)
Would dearly love to have another baby ... in fact that would make the above fade into insignificance ...
Other than that my life IS perfect ...

aloha Tue 28-Jan-03 09:56:20

In my dreams? A rambling six bedroom house with massive sunny garden. Lots of money so could work only when I felt like it and have live in help, at least one more child, happy, sunny-natured, bookish children who slept through from six weeks or so, daily cleaner, regular fab holidays in the sun during the winter and er, that's it. A lottery win, basically.

I'd like to be skinny too, but that's not about family life, is it? Maybe if I was that rich the combination of no deadine-induced overeating and a daily personal trainer would help.

RushingAround Tue 28-Jan-03 10:11:02

I'd like everything all neatly filed away and in its proper place all the time at home, so that when we had to find it there would be no scrabbling around at the last minute.

I'd like a car that stayed in immaculate condition all the time, not littered with crumbs and goodness knows what... so that if you unexpectedly offered someone a lift, there wouldn't be major embarrassment. (ie ds's teacher yesterday afternoon - still can't decide whether she said no because of the pile of stuff on the passenger seat... )

And if someone came to the door, I'd like to be able to welcome them into a clean/tidy house, with 2 smiling happy children playing beautifully together, or doing stimulating activities, with a smell of home cooking wafting through from the kitchen, and me and dh relaxing, and having time to chat... (or even time for you-know-what - but maybe not when someone was unexpectedly at the door )

So much for new year's resolutions...

aloha Tue 28-Jan-03 10:33:03

Mind you, what I've described is exactly the life of Riley led by dh's poisonous ex (who also screwed nearly 60K out of us out of sheer spite). Except she doesn't work at all, has a daily housekeeper, two Mercedes, four kids, and is still a miserable cow. So there you go! Oh, and she's pretty fat, which cheers me up anyway!

Carla Tue 28-Jan-03 10:47:44

1 - Children that eat, go to bed before 11.00, and who don't throw a dicky fit every morning when I try to dress them (I've worn that once before, etc etc).
2 - Two evenings off a year.
3 - One am/pm a week to sort out house
3 - Any sort of holiday which isn't a total disaster in my husband's opinion when it doesn't follow exact military prescision.
4 - A husband who speaks to me.
5 - A holiday without him (but with 2 dds, of course)

Make anyone feel better?

Philippat Tue 28-Jan-03 11:19:37

I'd like an extra hour in the day to sleep. About mid afternoon would be tops.

Another room in our house would be nice too, and a less icky kitchen and a car that puts itself through its MOT, and a less screwed up cat. Other than that my life is pretty much perfect already.

CAM Tue 28-Jan-03 11:19:48

1. A permanently clean and tidy home instead of one which gets cleaned and tideied when mil or mother coming, and only tidied when friends coming.
2. Clothes hanging freshly laundered which all go together (think its called a "capsule wardrobe"
3. Freezer full of homemade food because make twice as much when cooking nice recipes.
4. All paperwork only touched once and filed/answered/binned immediately.
This is my perfect life.
So it's only me who needs changing then as I seem to have no complaints about dh or dd. Drat!

mum2toby Tue 28-Jan-03 11:49:26


1: A bigger house
2: dp earning more money to get the pressure off of me
3: Another child or two...
4: To lose a stone
These are all quite standard 'wants' aren't they.
I would also like to suddenly find dp devastatingly sexy again and vice versa and for us to have the best sex life EVER!! >sigh<

jac34 Tue 28-Jan-03 11:50:58

Basically only two things would make my life better....more time....and more money !!!!

More time for the kids, myself, and myself & DH together.

More money to do a few improvements to our house.
eg new kitchen,bathroom,windows & laundry room.

Both of which I'll get in September, when the boys go to school full time, we no longer have to pay child care fees and I have time to myself while their in school.
So I should then be the happiest woman alive !!!

Lil Tue 28-Jan-03 12:14:26

6 months ago, it would have been the same list as everyone else, but now its just - a healthy dd with no more doctors appointments. That's it.

I think the old cliches are true, a sick child just puts it all into perspective. I've stopped worrying about anything else!

Lil Tue 28-Jan-03 12:21:12

oops don't mean to sound pious...I'm just p***ed off with it all!!!

GeorginaA Tue 28-Jan-03 12:32:04

No that doesn't sound pious at all Lil ... I feel the same (although I don't have a sick child).

dh has been working away from home for a couple of months now - not long in the scheme of things I know but my biggest wish would be to have the family back together as one unit again. More money would be nice, but wouldn't make me happy. It's funny, I've learned that "stuff" doesn't particularly matter anymore, it's dh and ds that count.

But if there's any money going spare just going to waste, send it in this direction

EmmaTMG Tue 28-Jan-03 12:52:37

I have to say I am pretty happy with what life has dealt me, I've got 2 healthy (if a bit boistous) boys, another one the way, A DH who loves us 110% even when I nag him because of hormonal sh*t. I'm able to stay a home to look after my children and not worry about money(although I'd like to be frivilous with it once in awhile) but the thing I would like the most more D.I.Y on the house!
DH absolutely love D.I.Y so he always finds something to do, he's in the garden at the moment doing 'stuff.
So that's what would make me happy, the D.I.Y all done......oh dear that's abit sad isn't it, I should really be grateful and that he doesn't leave it for months on end, bless him.

Lil Tue 28-Jan-03 12:54:49

Georgina its tough on your own isn't it. Is your husband back on weekends, or he abroad full time? I think the mornings are the worst, its that heavy sense of responsibility when you wake up, realising your children are totally reliant on you. Pressure, pressure .
But I think it does prove women really are the stronger sex!

SueW Tue 28-Jan-03 13:02:45

Lil, IKWYM. When DD was diagnosed I really felt like I could go and live in a tent, as long as she could get through this. AFAIC, we've BTDT with expensive hotels and business class flights and brand new cars and I really don't care about them any longer.

My wish list would be:

- a slightly smaller home with lots more storage and better laid out than this one. Mortgage-free so I could never lose it

- some part-time, term-time only work that I could do out of the home where they didn't mind if I took time off for DD's hospital appointments

- a cleaner who popped in for an hour or so every day because I truly hate cleaning

- friends who lived around the corner or even next door so we could pop around to see them easily

- friends for DD who also lived round the corner/across the road

I'd also like a National Health Service that operated at the same speed as private health care instead of shunting you from one waiting list to another, wasting children's lives away.

GeorginaA Tue 28-Jan-03 13:04:44

He's back at weekends, so I know I have it easy compared to some women! That knowledge just doesn't seem to help though!! Doesn't help that with the stress we've been more and more ratty towards each other during our precious weekend time

Money has been tight too, but I'm quite amazed with the amount of things I have managed to cut back on, so perversely I'm actually feeling happier and more in control of it than when we didn't have quite so many constraints. Mind you, that attitude might not last long, depends on the next set of bills

aloha Tue 28-Jan-03 13:45:31

I also want snow at Christmas, log fires, long summers for endless picnics in the park/country, blossom in the spring from our old apple trees in our enormous sunny garden, roses round the door, homebaked perfect scones with jam, Pimms in the summer watching children play perfectly happily, amicably and independently, long lie-ins at the weekend, sandcastles and sandwiches on the beach, buns for tea, no worries about bills, no laundry, just perfectly ironed, lavender scented sheets in a big linen press on the landing, none of us ever to be ill even with a cold...peace on earth... both grandmothers to be there forever... this is Fantasy Family, isn't it?

hmb Tue 28-Jan-03 13:52:21

All that, Aloha, and thin thighs

Lil Tue 28-Jan-03 14:13:33

SueW how is your daughter? I meant to ask you also, you mentioned you use a website to talk to other parents about your daughter, is this specific to her problem or more general? My dd's problem is so rare I can't find a specific 'support' network, and even though I've combed the net I can't find anyone out there. I really can't believe dd is the only baby in the world with CLD, but even my consultant can't help. Do you have any ideas?

oxocube Tue 28-Jan-03 18:28:45

Oh what a fantastic thread. Its hard to know where to start! I guess this is the list I dreamed up BEFORE I married and had kids

4 perfect, healthy, beautiful, artistic, incredibly intelligent children who adored and respected their parents and were quite accepting of family values such as children having 'chores' (think 'Little House on the Prairie'

A husband who was as in love with me now as when we first met and showed it.

A beautiful, intensely passionate marriage, making love every night with wild abandon.

Space from above perfect children to 'rediscover the old times' with my perfect, handsome d.h.

Loadsa money and a large and charming country retreat as well as the Paris appartment

An ability to speak French well enough to live in flash Paris appartment

To be gorgeous and to have every man and woman I meet thinking "if only" but be faithfully only to d.h because we are truly 'in love'

To be a really good person and, despite my wealth, good looks and charming personality, I prefer to spend my free time, not shopping, but working in a local hostle or soup kitchen to help those less fortunate than myself

The only part of my fantasy life which has so far come true is the being faithful bit

Having said all this, I have just heard the hailstones outside, have just tucked my kids up into their nice warm beds, and I guess, TBH, I am grateful that although my fantasy may never be a reality, we have a roof over our heads, are fed and warm and loved.

Awwww !!!!

aloha Tue 28-Jan-03 20:41:09

Also keen on raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

Jimjams Tue 28-Jan-03 21:25:34

know what you mean lil. I'd swap everything for ds1 to be able to talk.

Jimjams Tue 28-Jan-03 21:35:31

lil- don't answer if you don't want to- what is cld? I thought it was chronic lung disease but I'm guessing it's something else. It's just I knew someone who's baby had chronic lung disease- he's doing really well now.

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