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The HV is probably on the phone reporting me to social services as we speak.

(137 Posts)
Milkysallgone Tue 22-Jul-08 11:05:59

Shit. I forgot she was coming. To set the scene....

It is past 10, I am in my nightie and the dcs are still in their PJs looking like grubby little orphans. Dd was having the mother of all tantrums; screaming wildly as though she was being murdered, then the doorbell rings. I had to let the health visitor in to this scene of chaos after having totally forgotten she was coming.

My house is a cesspit. Last nights' chilli is still smeared over the work surfaces, the carpet smells of cheese and I had to fight my way through a sea of dirty nappies which were on their way to the outside bin just to get to the door. We've been on holiday and there are streams of dirty clothes hanging out of the washing machine as well.

God only knows what she must think. I must have looked shock when I opened the door. Had to run upstairs and fling some jogging bottoms on, while she soaked up the atmosphere. She must have thought I was battering dd the noise she was making.

I am so blush. Oh - and this is the woman who, when she rang to arrange the visit and said " Your ds is coming up to 2 now isn't he" I replied to her " Oh is he?"!!

She gave me the whole 'I always find if you're having a bad day, it always helps to get outside' speech on the way out. Yes thanks for that.

SoupDragon Tue 22-Jul-08 11:06:49


WilfSell Tue 22-Jul-08 11:10:09


Sounds like my house.

DH always invites the neighbours in when it's like this and I have to lie and say' oh the kids have been ill; we don't always live like this'.

Yeah, right.

sarah293 Tue 22-Jul-08 11:18:28

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FioFio Tue 22-Jul-08 11:19:45

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Marina Tue 22-Jul-08 11:23:37

LOL, I really wouldn't worry, you poor thing
I left a scene like that (minus kids admittedly, they are off strutting their stuff in holiday club) behind me this morning, anyone burgles us they'll get dysentery...hmm

FluffyMummy123 Tue 22-Jul-08 11:24:03

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WideWebWitch Tue 22-Jul-08 11:25:28

lol at 'oh is he?' ha ha.
you should have said "I always find if I'm having a bad day it helps if other people fk off out of the way and LEAVE ME ALONE"

justaboutagrownup Tue 22-Jul-08 11:25:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WideWebWitch Tue 22-Jul-08 11:26:19

I ca practically smell the ripe nappies from your post, eww
lol at dysentry Marina

morningpaper Tue 22-Jul-08 11:26:31


I bet you really DID look like shock when you opened the door!!!

FluffyMummy123 Tue 22-Jul-08 11:27:07

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morningpaper Tue 22-Jul-08 11:27:10

I can smell last night's chilli


poor Health Visitor grin

morningpaper Tue 22-Jul-08 11:27:45

lol I think you should change your name to HealthVisitorCod

you could spread joy wherever you went

mumblechum Tue 22-Jul-08 11:28:13

I suspect that HVs see an awful lot worse than a bit of mess.

Chill, dudeski

FluffyMummy123 Tue 22-Jul-08 11:28:39

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mumblechum Tue 22-Jul-08 11:29:42

I left 3 porridge bowls on the kitchen table before I went to work.

Can't do cleaning AND printing out 20 party invites for ds before leaving.

FioFio Tue 22-Jul-08 11:30:02

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FluffyMummy123 Tue 22-Jul-08 11:30:16

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FluffyMummy123 Tue 22-Jul-08 11:30:37

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WideWebWitch Tue 22-Jul-08 11:31:49

Reasons not to wash up food bowls: there are LOADS Cod!

a) can't be arsed
b) cleaner's coming soon
c) want to do something more interesting
d) dishwasher needs unloading first so it's a 10 minute job altogether, see a) above

just for starters!

FioFio Tue 22-Jul-08 11:32:00

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Milkysallgone Tue 22-Jul-08 11:32:22

Yep I'm lazy. Actually I'm gonna blame the whole thing on dh as he was supposed to be clearing up last night, unfortunately this usually involves half heartedly rinsing a few plates.

And you lot are partly to blame; if I wasn't mumsnetting I wouldn't have let the dcs sit there in their Pjs watching T.V all morning grin.

FluffyMummy123 Tue 22-Jul-08 11:32:59

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FluffyMummy123 Tue 22-Jul-08 11:33:29

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