Did This punishment for ds fit the crime?

[Mhamai]

Earlier I brought ds age 7 out to get some grocery shopping, we stopped off at a toy store on the way home where I bought him the Guess who game, I told him I'd play it with him when we got home.

As the taxi stopped outside the house, I asked him to help me in with some of the stuff. He blankly ignored me and continued on into the house.

I was furious, I didn't shout or loose the head but informed him as punishment I was not going to play the game with him as punishment.

I feel like I did the right thing but I feel awful. Several times I felt like relenting but then thought if I did I'm sending him mixed messages. Why do I feel so guilty?

[elmoandella]

if you said it yu have to stick to it know i say.

[Mhamai]

I think I feel guilty because instead of calmy thinking of his behaviour as unnaceptable, I thought well now this is going to hit you where it hurts. I think there was a certain amount of vindictiveness [sp?] on my part as opposed to go to your room. Oh feck

[Othersideofthechannel]

You've answered your own question - you didn't play the game in order to make him feel bad rather than to teach him something

Did you relent?

[lizinthesticks]

Making him feel bad = him reflecting on why he was made to feel bad = thinking about what he did, i.e. be unhelpful = teaching him something.

[thisisyesterday]

I think what you've taught him is that you'll only do nice things with him (that you've already said you'll do) if he does things for you.

which isn't great.
so no, I don't think the punishment fitted the crime.

when he walked into the house did you call to him to make sure he'd heard?