What's it really like having a 3rd child in late 30s?(8 Posts)
dh & I are pretty decided that we'd like another one, but I'm feeling anxious about what it's really like. I love ds (4) and dd(2) to bits and am sure the same would be true of another, but I do find managing even 2 a real struggle. I work part time and usually end up with most of the childcare & household responsiblities because dh is rather old-fashioned and he often works away anyway.
So...what I'm concerned about is that I've survived so far, but might a 3rd push me over the edge? I'm already feeling tired most of the time but if I had another I'd be going through the whole newborn thing again. ds made me feel young again, dd has aged me - how have people found having a third when energy levels are running low?
Exhausting! DS2 appeared 16 months ago, to our great surprise - I'm 39 now and DH is 45, DD is 9 and DS is nearly 11.
If I'm being totally honest it has meant a complete life change for us all, and has really affected what we can and can't do. We're back to hideous nursery fees on top of after school fees for the days I work, and I'm constantly running to stand still. We don't have family close by (think 100 miles away at least) so we are totally on our own.
That said, he's an absolute joy, and great fun (sometimes!) is being had by all. Yours are still young that you haven't really got past the toddler stage, so it probably won't make too much of a difference to your lifestyle. And - as my mum often says, it won't last forever. If you really want to go for it, then do. The tiredness happens whatever age you are, and really only lasts for a short period in your life.
Good luck with whatever decision you make
I was 36 when dd3 was born and am permanently exhausted . She's almost 2.
but of course love having 3. It has completed us as a family. There are less than 2 years between 2nd and 3rd and now it's a great gap - fabulous mates they are.
I was 34 when I had dd3. It was great - fine. No worse than having the other two.
I had DD3 when I was 11 days off my 35th birthday.
I have 2 other girls, DD1 is 9 and DD2 is 4 and is disabled and has SN. DH is away a lot (military) we have no family nearby, I work part time and I manage (just about LOL!!) It's bloody hard work, the days are long and busy (says me idly Mumsnetting and shopping on Ebay <whistle>) but I think if you are quite organised, can cope with additional childcare costs, the fact that people may offer to babysit two children but not three, you may need a bigger car, and your boobs will never be perky again then go for it
I adore having three and theoretically would have liked another, you always manage don't you? And they're not little for long.
Yes, totally exhausting but worth it. I read somewhere that you should never be outnumbered by your children...
I was 39 when DC3 arrived and it's taking its toll mentally and physically. But, and it's a biggie, like nana says it's completed us as a family. And I know for sure there wont' be a no. 4. The baby stage is so much harder when you're older, and if you have one at school and one at pre-school/ nursery, there's lots of to-ing and fro-ing and a great deal of coordinating to do. But I also found other mums (esp of large families) incredibly helpful with practical things like pick-ups.
lol at "I usually end up with most of the childcare & household responsiblities" - not many mums would say any different!
I think worth it too: I'm 41 and my youngest is 11mo (others are 3 and 9). We are mostly run off our feet or slumped in front of TV. Nothing gets done, or if it does, it's VERY slowly. Has taken me till just now to take some stuff to the tip because of the constant round of feeding, putting down for naps, refereeing the fights and sending to bedrooms!
BUT the baby is a complete joy and so lovely and the other two love him to bits. We are delighted to have him too since he makes us smile all day.
Yes, am knackered and have very little time for social life or me activities, but think I'd be knackered however many kids I had. One thing about being a bit older is you know how quickly it passes and so you appreciate them as babies much more IMHO.
I have 3 children and I am nearly 35.DS1 is 9,DS2 6 and DD is 21 months.I have to say I love having 3 and I dont find it any harder then having 2.But then again my boys are older so can help.
I love having 3 and would love another but I wont as I was v.v.poorly when I was having DD.
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