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Last night I smacked my son.

(10 Posts)
feelawful Sat 19-Jul-08 18:37:15

I am not proud of it & feel terrible. I never normally hit my children, but I lost it.

I am a single mum & my sons can be hard work, especially my nearly nine year old who sometimes appears to have no respect for me at all.

Last night he was being very rude. He was ignoring everything I asked him to do, and when I asked if he had put his clothes in the wash bin, he said "and what is going to happen if I haven't?"
He kept on like this & my mother in law had come round to babysit as I was going out. I didn't want to leave her with him when he was behaving so badly. he kept talking back to me, so I had stern words with him & said "I don't like you talking to me like dirt"
He didn't seem bothered at all & blurted out "Dirt doesn't talk"
At this point I lost it & slapped him on his arm. I immediately felt terrible & cried. I knew it was a terrible thing to do - I knew I shouldn't have done it. I wasn't going to post on here, but I still feel so awful. I just find it so hard sometimes.

cocolepew Sat 19-Jul-08 18:40:13

Don't be so hard on yourself, a slap on the arm isn't going to do him any harm at all. Speak to him when you're calm and have worked out a plan on how to deal with his bad attitude.

juuule Sat 19-Jul-08 18:44:32

What's done is done.
Apologise to him for smacking but let him know how he made you feel frustrated and upset. Tell him you find things difficult at times and you'd appreciate his help.
How old is/are your other son/s?

colette Sat 19-Jul-08 18:47:56

was he upset at you going out . I don't mean that excuses his bad behaviour but just a thought

feelawful Sat 19-Jul-08 18:53:56

No he wasn't upset at me going out. He likes it when his Nannys babysit normally.

My other son is 5.

cocolepew Sat 19-Jul-08 18:58:19

I think he's old enough to know this is unacceptable behaviour. I would sit down with him and first find out if there is anything worrying/upsetting him. If not you need to tell him that he will be punished eg no computer games or whatever he likes, and follow through,. Don't make empty threats.

cocolepew Sat 19-Jul-08 18:58:19

I think he's old enough to know this is unacceptable behaviour. I would sit down with him and first find out if there is anything worrying/upsetting him. If not you need to tell him that he will be punished eg no computer games or whatever he likes, and follow through,. Don't make empty threats.

feelawful Sat 19-Jul-08 19:02:41

I made him stay up in his room after this. He wanted to come down, but I told him he was to stay in his bedroom (it was an hour earlier than his normal bedtime)
I normally take one of his favourite books from him (he has to earn it back) or tell him he is not allowed on the pc as punishment, and I do follow it through. I would never normally hit my children.

cocolepew Sat 19-Jul-08 19:07:10

To be honest if my DD had said that to me I would have kicked her arse grin. Please don't let the fact that you slapped his arm be bigger than it is. I would feel bad if I slapped a child on the face, but not the arm.

lizinthesticks Sat 19-Jul-08 20:11:12

Yeah, although I too hate smacking this is not that big of a deal. "Dirt doesn't talk" - not bad. Not bad at all. Still, sometimes it's just the proverbial straw. I only tend to snap when one deliberately hurts the other. THAT I can't stand. I've definitely lost it on the odd occasion that's happened. Anyway, for what it's worth, I don't know how single parents do it. I would crumble. It's hard enough with the two of us. Christ knows how I'd cope alone. You are doing a f*ing brilliant job and don't let anyone - least of all yourself - ever tell you otherwise!!

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