would you tell a good friend if her ds was cheeky to you?

[brimfull]

quite regularly.

She has openly said "please tell me if ds is badly behaved" but tbh her son is really cheeky to me when I pick him up from school .I do tell him off when needed but I really haven't the heart to say anything to my friend.

Her ds can be quite a moody wee thing which we both agree on and he definitely isn't cheeky to me when his Mum is around.
She's always commenting on ds' good behaviour which makes it more awkward.

[bluenosesaint]

If she has asked you to tell her, then i would

Tactfully of course ...

[nickytwotimes]

Tough one.
i think you might have to because it is regular....

[WeeBesom]

I would but say it in a jokey way i.e. you'll never guess what the wee bugger said to me earlier!

[TheRealPhartiphukborlz]

can you say it in a jokey fashion?

[bluenosesaint]

Was just about the post again saying the same as weebesom. Maybe a jokey approach is the way to go?

[bluenosesaint]

x posts

[quickdrawmcgraw]

I would. Just start with...You know you told me to tell you if x was badly behaved? well he was a bit cheeky earlier on.

[brimfull]

yes I suppose

she would be devastated I think

he came out of school today and threw his bags at me ,then refused to speak to me.

I have thought it is maybe just me but a few others have given me knowing looks iykwim as is they've had t too.

Maybe if I ask her if he's happy with me picking him up?

[Doodle2U]

Can you clarify 'cheeky'?

[Hecate]

Tell her. She asked you and you're doing nobody any favours by keeping this from her. If she's asked you to tell her AND she talks about your son's good behaviour, it's clear she realises there's an issue. Perhaps other people have mentioned he is rude?

[TheRealPhartiphukborlz]

sounds good ggirl

[brimfull]

doodle2u-well he walks up sullenly when I pick him up,chucks his bags at me,refuses to talk to me,answer my questions.Contradicts everything I say.

[TheRealPhartiphukborlz]

does he improve after a biscuit ggirl?

[Doodle2U]

Hmmm, well I would have demanded he picked them up, made him apologise for his rudeness and I would have made it VERY clear that I'd be telling his mother exactly how he's been behaving.

If he's been like this a few times and he knows you've never told his mother....he's trying it on in the mistaken belief that you'll just accept his behaviour and there will be no consequences.

IMO.

[brimfull]

you're right
I made him pick them up and hand them to me,then ignored his sulking after he refused to answer me.

Friday is sweetie day so yes he became more verbal when I said only well behaved boys got sweets.

[TheRealPhartiphukborlz]

doyou treat him like your own? perhaps he needs the discipline you woudl give your own

[Doodle2U]

Oh, we do sweetie day on Friday!!!

Come to think of it - mine are only allowed their 50p to spend in the newsagents IF they've come out of school nicely ALL week. Maybe you could try that ruse first, before talking to his Mum?

[OrmIrian]

Is it just at school pick-up time? If so it might be that he is just treating you as he would his mum. My DCs have all gone through phases when they come out of school tired and ratty - they look forward to going home time and then it arrives and they are tired and fed up and act like sulky prima donnas. But it lasts 5 mins and then it's over.

But as she asked you, I would mention it.

[brimfull]

good idea about the sweetie day bribe,will try that one(well end of term on wed here)

He is openly cheeky to his teacher as well-have witnessed.

[pointydog]

No. I'd tell teh child not to be cheeky.

[dylsmum1998]

oh gosh was worried you were my friend then, but realised she hasnt picked my ds up for a few months, so you cant be
tbh if i was your friend i would want to know, mainly because(as you may have guesed) i am having ishoos with my ds temper at the mo and it would be reassuring its not just me its aimed at

seriously tho i would rather be told so i can have words with him/detract pocket money etc

[whatdayisit]

Is he resentful that his mum doesn't collect him? Kind of making a point/attention seeking?

[brimfull]

sorry been offline

we share lifts-she does morning run I do afternoon,but I think I will ask whether he's unhappy being picked up by me.

[cory]

If it's just being too tired to talk then I would give him the benefit of doubt and assume that it wasn't meant to be cheeky. My dc's were often exhausted when they came out of infants. I felt answering questions straightaway was a little too much for them, so tried not to put any. Think of a runner who collapses on the side of the track- he's not being rude.

(after all, there are times, after a long day, when I am too tired to answer dc's questions )

If he says something rude, then I might tell on him.

[bigTillyMint]

Yes Om - my son can be like this with me, but it's soon over. My friends DD used to be really like this with other adults, but seems to be growing out of it now

How old is he ggirl? If I was his mum, I would want to know so that I could get him to understand that it's rude to behave like that with anyone, but particularly anyone other than mum/dad.