I have been told today by Kindergarten that DS1 (3.5) is hard to be strict with. In other words, he needs to be told very strictly to do something (sit down, don't run off etc.). The teacher said that I am not strict enough and explain too much to him. She belives that I should just tell him hard to do something, and if he doesn't, put him on a step somewhere.
Now, we've a naughty step which is used quite frequently. I tell my DS1 off a lot. But I'm puzzled over why he shouldn't be told WHY not to do something. I feel like we'll just be barking orders at him. The teacher says he is very intelligent, so that's not an issue. He just needs more strong discipline.
BTW, we are in Germany, so there's a language barrier that DS1 has. He's picking it up quickly, though.
Ah Beansprout, I bought that book recently and it's on my bedside table. I'll dig it out tonight. I do think they're right at Kindergarten, as I had a nightmare time at the supermarket yesterday with him. He was doing exactly as they explained today, ignoring commands that he knows are right. I just needed to hear they're right. I usually want to hear that they're wrong!
He's being moved up into the main Kindergarten in September, in a class of 3.5 - 6yo. They're understandably trying to ensure that he behaves come that time.
So...when he gets up during dinner I should eb saying "Sit Down Now", instead of continuing "...because you'll fall off the bench and hurt yourself. You did that twice recently and there were lots of tears..." Even as I type that I realise I AM waffling too much. He must have stopped listening after the first 5 words...
I see. Well, yes, do cut the waffle. They don't listen to it. My son's ed psych once explained to me that some kids have a time lag between hearing and processing. If, by the time they have finished processing what you said, you are still talking, they have to forget what you said and start again.
Thanks everyone. Very useful advice, and my red mist at the Kindergarten staff is slowly fading! Writing this post made me realise I'm bombarding him with explanations. At his age, maybe he just needs to be told the action, as you say, OMDB.