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should i feel pressurised to send ds to gp's/nursery

(12 Posts)
bigboydiditandranaway Wed 16-Jul-08 15:44:02

Ds is 2.6, he's a typical lively little boy, full of fun. He seems quite happy as i am with me looking after him without sending him off for a morning/afternoon to playgroup/gp's.

We go to playgroup (where mum's stay) once/twice a week, we meet up with friends, who have children of a similar age and dh & i take him swimming once a week.

I am expecting a baby soon and some people i have spoken to think it would be a good idea to send ds to nursery especially.

I really miss ds when i have dropped him off at my parents for a few hours or if dh has taken ds into town so i can get something done.

I know everyone is different and it might work out well for them to send their dc to nursery a few times a week but at the moment i don't.

When do most people send their children to nursey/playgroups/gp's?

lizinthesticks Wed 16-Jul-08 15:50:38

"should i feel pressurised to send ds to gp's/nursery"


AlistairSim Wed 16-Jul-08 15:56:21

No, you shouldn't feel pressured.

My DD will be going to nursery in September because she will qualify for free sessions (otherwise she wouldn't be going!)

I've loved having her at home with me, I love not being tied to anybody else's timetable too.

hanaflowerisnothana Wed 16-Jul-08 16:03:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littleducks Wed 16-Jul-08 16:08:21

you shouldn't feel pressured no, but i have a ds of 4 months and there were times when he was a few weeks old when i would have given ANYTHING for someone else to take my dd (just 2) off my hands for an hour or two so i could clean/sleep/bath so i would get him used to being with your parents if you can so you will be able to drop him off to them when baby is born if you need/want to

mrschop Wed 16-Jul-08 16:47:23

Children do benefit from being away from parents and with other children for a couple of hours, which is all pre-school would be. I find that I enjoy DS's company even more when he comes home from pre-school.

And it is much more difficult to occupy them as they get older, esp with a new baby to look after: it is that much more difficult to get out of the house/find suitable groups for baby AND toddler/fit round baby's feeds/sleeps/explosive poos etc.

People may be suggesting starting a nursery so your DS doesn't associate being 'sent away' with the arrival of the new baby: I waited until DS was used to DD before sending him but the few months before he went, with two at them at home, was difficult. He wanted lots of stimulation and activities as he was getting older, while DD was quite poorly (as second babies often are - every cough & cold that went round and brought home by DS hit her really hard) so getting out was even more difficult.

Have gone on a bit, sorry, but I do know how you feel.

juuule Wed 16-Jul-08 17:24:37

No - don't feel pressured. Do whatever you and your ds prefer at the moment. When it doesn't suit either of you, rethink. He won't lose out by not going to nursery/gp without you.

TheCrackFox Wed 16-Jul-08 18:47:03

If you don't want to then don't. Do what you feel is best.

nannyL Wed 16-Jul-08 18:53:10

As a nanny i DONT think 2 year olds need to go to nursary / pre-school etc

But i do think the year before they start school they beneift from a few session per week (not necessarily all 5 sessions though)

I completley see and understand WHY parenst want their children to go to pre-school etc 5 sessions a week, and i dont think it does them any harm at all.... its free, the government provide it so you might as well use it... smile

BUT i think its hard to be tied to a 'school run' every day, and think you and the child can have as much fun and learn a lot from days out / walks / outings etc.

If it suits you send you child to preschool, but if you really dont want to then dont... IMO there is no rush really

Seona1973 Wed 16-Jul-08 19:31:44

I sent dd to nursery once she qualified for the free sessions at 3. It tied in quite well as I had ds in the October and she started nursery in January. It certainly helped give a bit of routine to the day and she loved making new friends/socialising.

bigboydiditandranaway Thu 17-Jul-08 11:00:41

Thanks for your messages, i think i'm probably being oversensitive to peoples comments at the moment anyway with being pregnant.

I think i'll wait till ds is 3-3.5 and review it from there.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern Thu 17-Jul-08 11:14:30

I think people are trying to be nice. I agree with the poster that if even a day a week or something let your ds go to gp's just in case.
You may never need it when the baby comes but also plan for the fact that you might just need a bit of a break or to feel that ds is being played with guilt free and you are not feeling bad feeding the baby etc.

When I had ds dd was give or take 2 1/2 and she had never really been away from me but I did prepare her for the fact she might need to be in plenty of time before hand she slept over 2 or 3 times at my parents house in case I needed to be in hospital in the night and it was necessary and my parents and MIL took her to the park or their house reasonably regularly for dinner or a play so that when ds came along if I for some reason needed a break then she was used to going out with gp's rather than think she was being shunted off because the baby was here.

When ds came along there weren't many times that I asked them to take her but there were a handful of occassions and dd loved the attention from her gp's as when they had her they could focus all their attention on her where as I had always had housework etc and then the new baby so she always had to share my time somehow.

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