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No nonsense parenting advice on here - does it apply to all children?

(43 Posts)
larahusky Tue 15-Jul-08 11:38:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fleximum Tue 15-Jul-08 11:47:03

I think people are generally advising what has worked for them. I've always been a fairly no nonsense person and that is how I raise my boys, but I can see if my sons were different, it might not be the best way to manage them.

morningpaper Tue 15-Jul-08 11:51:54

of COURSE it depends on the child

Some are very sensitive and you have to be completely different with them

In my house as long as they are polite and respectful to each other I don't mind spoon-feeding them occasionally or making toast at unearthly hours

larahusky Tue 15-Jul-08 12:16:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Morloth Tue 15-Jul-08 12:20:42

Blah just do whatever works and results in everyone in YOUR house being as happy as possible.

In OUR house we need a "boss", some homes are more relaxed. Who cares as long as everyone is happy and the job gets done its all good.

morningpaper Tue 15-Jul-08 12:22:52

lol when my FIVE YEAR OLD is tired I occasionally resort to shoving things in her mouth while she stares into space like a fish

tell no one

itati Tue 15-Jul-08 12:23:37

There are as many solutions for any problem as their are children and it takes time to work out what is best for your family. My boys are very similar but my daughter is from a whole different aspect!

BroccoliSpears Tue 15-Jul-08 12:39:13

Oh god am I supposed to feel guilty about spoonfeeding too?!

I regularly shovel food into my two-year-old. In an ideal world she would be free to eat what and when she wanted to and I would trust my child to know when she's hungry and when she's full. But in an ideal world I wouldn't then have to charge round Sainsburys with a furious child, hungry and grumpy with low blood sugar because she thought that the fly buzzing against the kitchen window was a far higher priority than her bowl of porridge. She's a flibberty-jibbet with the attention span of a gnat on redbull and sometimes I Know Best.

Actually, that's a point, I do know best because I know that we're going to swimming and then to town and then she'll fall asleep in the car so she needs a good tummy full now. She doesn't know anything more than "oooh - what a cool buzzy fly, I wonder if I can lick it?".

micci25 Tue 15-Jul-08 12:44:07

i hate when people say just put the food in front of them, they wpont starve themselves! yeah 'cept mine would!! no really she would! she is never ever hungry! she never asks for food she never complains about being hungry and she rarely eats.

she had cereal for brekkie that she likes but she wouldnt eat it, she had noodles for lunch that she picked she has eaten about a spoonfull! she didnt eat much yesterday either and refused supper! so the last time she had a decent amount of food (more than two spoonfulls) was lunch time yesterday when she ate half a sarnie, she had a couple of mouthfull of her dinner and no supper, followed by v little breakfast this morning and one forkfull of lunch!!!

i have just asked her if she is hungry and does she want anything! "no thank you my tummy is full and i feel sick!" she hasnt eaten anything since lunchtime yesterday!!! how can she be full!!

scattyspice Tue 15-Jul-08 12:53:16

lara you should always do it your way, not someone elses.
But if someone posts with a difficulty that you've overcome then its good to share that advice. I always assume the OP will feel totally free to ignore it if it doesn't suit them.
I've found lots of suggestions on here really helpful (and plenty totally crackers).

If you look at your kids and they seem happy and healthy then keep doing what you're doing.

SummatAnNowt Tue 15-Jul-08 13:44:07

You are probably just sensitive to the opposing view as it obviously makes you feel defensive as you need to explain yourself, so it appears to stand out more to you.

There are lots on here that are not no-nonsense parents, and many that are no-nonsense in one area and not in others.

cory Tue 15-Jul-08 15:55:20

Or no-nonsense at one time and not at another. This is not necessarily being inconsistent- just adjusting to circumstances.

OverMyDeadBody Tue 15-Jul-08 16:02:04

There is no one right way or best way to do anything in life, and that includes all the things that go with parenting.

You have to make the best decision for you and your children in each circumstance, and the trick is not to feel guilty once you've made that decision.

All the advice on MN is great and sometimes it is something that you wouldn't have thought of yourself, but you need to just pick the bits that will work for you and discard the other bits without feeling guilty.

Tortington Tue 15-Jul-08 16:04:26

do whatever floats your boat babe

balls to everyone else - if it works for you

theexmrsfederer Tue 15-Jul-08 20:20:24

Lara, do what is best for you.

I have an extra-sensitive, whingy, moany boy of 8. If I waited for him to do everything we would never get anything done. It is only the last year or so I haven't shovelled food into his gob just so we can get out the door. I have put socks on, tied his tie, brushed his teeth etc all in the last year.

He has no appetite whatsoever. He would literally eat nothing if there wasn't constant pressure from us. He hates to go out and is happiest in his own home surrounded by familiar things.

My dd on the other hand has been independent from a young age and is a social butterfly. grin

ChirpyGirl Tue 15-Jul-08 20:34:42

Just do what works for you. What works for me is giving DD1 her tea, she eats 2 bites and then begs for yoghurt.
I cave and give it to her, she wolfs it down, and then if you ignore her for long enough and don't mention it, she finishes her tea!
If we are out I don't dare try this so everyone is convinced she is a fussy eater, she is, but only if she doesn't get her yoghurt first!

slim22 Tue 15-Jul-08 20:44:56

whatever works for your family.
You seem to have cracked your dds' dynamics, never mind what others do.

Oliveoil Tue 15-Jul-08 20:47:40

your dd1 sounds just like mine, softly softly works with her

dd2 is completely different, I can boss her about

I do things my way, balls to anyone else

larahusky Tue 15-Jul-08 20:50:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

edam Tue 15-Jul-08 20:57:21

You don't have to live up to anyone else's way of doing things, you know...

Anyway, your dd reminds me of my sister who was an extremely fussy eater who seemed to live on thin air, despite my poor mother trying everything she and her friends, doctor, magazines and books could think of. FWIW this sister has grown up to be a perfectly health adult. So don't worry too much - what seems a big deal now will be a dim memory eventually.

edam Tue 15-Jul-08 20:57:42

healthyy

edam Tue 15-Jul-08 20:58:06

oh bum, you know what I mean!

theexmrsfederer Tue 15-Jul-08 21:15:26

lara

I totally get where you are coming from.

My son almost has a phobia about going out anywhere in case he "has to eat anything he doesn't like". For instance, my works has a Xmas party for the kids. I had to spend ages reassuring him he would not be forced to eat (in his eyes) horrid stuff. He means grub like choccy cake ffs!!

I have had to back right off or else family occasions would be ruined by him being upset and me feeling on edge. We usually say he has already eaten so other people don't apply the pressure.

I have found it very difficult to understand as the rest of the family (inc. first born dd) love their food.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though. Since he turned 8, things seem to be slowly improving. he is still horrendously fussy and REFUSES to try new things but does not get so anxious about it. I think if I had tried to make him a different person it would have backfired.

Sorry, this ended up a long rant about MY son lol.

larahusky Tue 15-Jul-08 22:50:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theexmrsfederer Tue 15-Jul-08 22:57:53

Just carry on doing your own thing.

All will work out in the end.

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