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my baby has just cried on and off since weve got home from hospital and doesnt seem to be able to settle properly[sad]

51 replies

copingvquietly · 14/07/2008 11:35

im feeling a bit worn out!ive tried to doze but he goes from crying to literally trying to climb up me?
anyone else with experience of this?

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ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 14/07/2008 11:42

Yes.

It's very normal imo. They have been in an alien environment, no doubt had unpleasant things done to them, they pick up on your stress, and of course they feel ill on top of all of that.

Unlike adults, children are unable to process and reason what has happened to them, so it manifests itself in upset and stress.

IME the worst (constant high pitched crying and being unable to settle) passes within in a few days, but the needing to be with you 24/7 lasts longer.

If you can, for the next few days have him constantly attached to you and bf him to his hearts delight. Play games and read books while he is on your lap, or lying on the bed together. He needs to know that you aren't going anywhere and that he is safe. It's bloody hard work though, make sure you have as much support from friends/family/husband as you can.

He will turn a corner, I just can't tell you when. But when you're feeling really stressed about your velcro baby remember that they need you and that it's not their fault.

Good luck, you can do it!

Much love to you and your ds xx

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muppetgirl · 14/07/2008 11:51

understadning how you're feeling as ds 1 did this. I would echo what ILTMIMI has said, keep ds with you as much as you can -have you got a sling as this would make things easier. Don;t be afraid to give ds to dh/p or someone else you trust if you feel you need a break though, you need a little time to recouperate as well. Are you b/f? Is he hungry? Sounds obvious but with ds 1 I didn't know that I should let him feed like mad in the first few days. I wish I had've now....Don't try to do too much (Sorry if you've got other dc and you feel I'm teaching you to suck eggs x) rest rest and get more rest. The housework can wait. Congrats on your lo and good luck x

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MrsBadger · 14/07/2008 11:51

is he just hungry?

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copingvquietly · 14/07/2008 11:53

velcrobaby isnt far from it at the moment.it just breaks my heart to see him so upset
thankyou x

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RubySlippers · 14/07/2008 11:54

your baby has been poorly?

my DS had a few spells in hospital and it always took him a good few days to settle down

he probably just wants to be extra close to you, as he hasn't been feeling so good

am sure he will perk you in a few days

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muppetgirl · 14/07/2008 11:54

How old is he copingvquietly?

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ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 14/07/2008 11:57

CVQ - yes it is heartbreaking, but like he learnt that hospital is a pretty horrible place to be, he will also learn that the love from his mum is stronger than ever and will help get him through it.

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copingvquietly · 14/07/2008 11:58

hes nearly 8 months and im on my own so cant hand him to anyone else
i went to the loo earlier and he cried like i wasnt coming back

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LackaDAISYcal · 14/07/2008 12:02

glad he is home again CVQ. When DD was in the hospital earlier this year she was a human limpet for a good three or four days afterwards, and we were in for less than 24 hours. I'm afraid you just have to go with it, and remember he is probably still feeling quite poorly.

Cuddle up on the sofa and watch some trash TV, he'll pick up soon.

Did they find out what was wrong?

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copingvquietly · 14/07/2008 12:08

it was viral meningitis
i know hes still not feeling well.i guess im just worn out.

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muppetgirl · 14/07/2008 12:16

do you have anyone who could help you?

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LackaDAISYcal · 14/07/2008 12:34

is your mum still with you CVQ? can she help?

sorry he has been so poorly, but it sounds like he is on the mend now though. Sleep when he does if you can and take care

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DutchOma · 14/07/2008 12:48

Can you bear to put him in his buggy and walk him round. A bit of fresh air will do you both good. Most babies will be at least peaceful when they are being driven round in the buggy and the weather here is really nice. is there any of the nearby mumsnetters you would trust to come and help you?

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Poppycake · 14/07/2008 12:59

I'd agree with Dutch Oma.

This might be just me being weird, but when I was having prbs with my colicky youngest dd, I used to sort of pretend I was looking after her as a job, i.e. she wasn't my daughter (yes this is weird now I read it!!) and I found having a bit of distance - even imaginary - did help. Especially when so very tired...

Perhaps I'm a bit nuts!!

Anyway - is there really no one you can call on? I know if I had a friend or even an acquaintance who was in that state and didn't call me, I'd be really disappointed. People do want to help - really

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copingvquietly · 14/07/2008 13:37

he cried himself to sleep so ive mananged about an hour.
mum went home saturday night but im planning on asking her to come back over night some times this week.
ive got a close friend near by but dont feel i can keep asking her to bail me out when the going gets tough with him
i think i will take him for a little walk.it might help us both to blow the cobwebs away.
sorry for moaning

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Poppycake · 14/07/2008 13:47

hey moan away! We all need it or just go bonkers!

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DutchOma · 14/07/2008 14:46

Who's moaning? You need to share, that's not moaning.
It would be good if you could manage to let one or two others in to help, a sorrow shared etc...

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elkiedee · 14/07/2008 15:08

How long have you been home for?

I would ask your friend if she can come round, or even if you can pop round there, even if it's just for a short while to have a cup of tea. This isn't just a tough moment, he's been very ill and it must have been so stressful for you.

Is there a park near you where you can go and sit in the shade for a little while?

And apologies not accepted, you're talking not moaning.

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copingvquietly · 14/07/2008 15:39

we only came home yesterday afernoon.
i took him to the park to play on the swings.i do feel a bit better now.

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muppetgirl · 14/07/2008 16:11

You're really not moaning! You're having a tough time and telling us!

Ask your friend if she can help even a little. I'm sure she wouldn't mind and probably wants to help.

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copingvquietly · 14/07/2008 16:25

thanks.im just tired and things get on top of me.its going to take time for j to get back to himself and i do need some help and thats not easy for me to say
maybe L can come over tomorrow so i can catch up on some sleep.

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springerspaniel · 14/07/2008 16:35

I like the idea of thinking of it as a job, rather than your baby. DS1 was horribly colicky for a long time and I couldn't cope.

Am really worried about not being able to cope if number 2 (due any day) is the same. Will definitely try that - thanks!

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copingvquietly · 14/07/2008 17:07

hes off again

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NumberJill · 14/07/2008 17:12

hEY, i'VE NEVER MET YOU AND EVEN i WANT TO HELP YOU, SO i BET YOUR FRIEND IS JUST WAITING TO BE ASKED. wHERE ARE YOU IN THE COUNTRY?

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MrsWeasley · 14/07/2008 17:12

oh CVQ I just wish I was near to you I would take him for a walk so you could get some sleep.

Ask your mum, I know its hard but he is her grandson and I'm sure she would love to feel needed!

Take care and dont worry about moaning, we all do it

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