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Intense Emotions

(31 Posts)
ChocolateMouse Fri 11-Jul-08 22:26:04

Hi there,

Is this normal? My DS has just turned 5 months old and I have, ever since he was born, been overwhelmed by this intense emotion of love for him. I realise it's normal for me to love DS, it's just that the intensity of it is so that it brings me to tears when I look at him sometimes and DH thinks I'm being silly and shouldn't be like this. I think he thinks that it's not normal for a mother to get this emotional over.

Just wondering if there's something wrong with me.


liath Fri 11-Jul-08 22:28:38

Nope! Totally normal. Wecome to the overly-emotional world of motherhood.

ChocolateMouse Fri 11-Jul-08 22:31:31

Hey liath,

Thanks for that - I have just breathed a sigh of relief. Guess DH is just going to have to put up with it isn't he? wink

I just hope that DS doesn't think the tears are because I'm upset!

PrettyCandles Fri 11-Jul-08 22:32:09

Wallow in it. Enjoy it. There are so few opportunities in our 21st centruy lives to really feel emotions to their fullest.

Fair enough, don't let it rule your life (remember to continue loving your dh, and showing it), but you have a new focal point, and new reason for existing, a new meaning to your life.

If you're happy in general, then this is so fine and wonderful. If you're not happy, then you may need to consider whether you're riding an emotional rollercoaster, which may be a symptom of PND. But this is only if you are unhappy in general.

lol, men! honestly. YES it's absolutely normal. It'd be abnormal if you didn't ever get overemotional at your firstborn! Fgs you're supposed to feel that way, it's the bonding process, you get flooded with maternal hormones for a reason. Tell him he's a pillock, and resume your cot-gazing.

Ewe Fri 11-Jul-08 22:35:05

Totally normal, I sometimes feel like screaming (or eating her!) I am so overwhelmed with love for my DD

Bertolli Fri 11-Jul-08 22:36:01

Absolutely how it should be as far as i'm concerned smile

Something wrong with you?! no no no no no!!

I have 2 sons and i am the same. It's overwhelming sometimes: the miracle of life, one's own offspring!

I can't believe how much i'm in love with them sometimes, but i think that is great, it's good for your parent to love you fiercely surely?

It's something some men can find hard to understand, the intense bond between mother and child

ChocolateMouse Fri 11-Jul-08 22:36:15

You know PrettyCandles, I have wondered about the roller coaster of PND and if I'm on that ride. Me and DH aren't getting on that well since the birth of DS and maybe that doesn't help sad

Monkeytrousers Fri 11-Jul-08 22:36:47

normal. never stops

colditz Fri 11-Jul-08 22:36:48

It's normal, I swear men have a motor where their emotions should be,.

Monkeytrousers Fri 11-Jul-08 22:38:45

Thing for me was - I thoght I loved his dad more than was possible - but the love of your kids far outsreaches it - for me anyway

It's a bit of a shock at first

Bertolli Fri 11-Jul-08 22:40:35

Husbands/ partners can feel abit/ a lot left out/ neglected, so maybe that could be an issue for him. Might be feeling a bit displaced.
Also, it IS a massive change in life style innit?

ChocolateMouse Fri 11-Jul-08 22:41:37

Hey JamesAndTheGiantBanana, your make me smile smile. I resume my cot-gazing so often and it feels so good grin. I love this bonding process thing - I am just blown away by the intensity. Oh Wow grin

Ewe - I want to eat DS too! ......(don't report me smile )

Bertolli - I too feel that -can't get over how in love I feel. I agree with you, it has to be good for your parent to love you fiercely - I want to give him that at least grin

ChocolateMouse Fri 11-Jul-08 22:44:27

Thanks Monkeytrousers! I'm a bit shocked too shock

colditz - grin

Bertolli - agreed - massive lifestyle change!

Monkeytrousers Fri 11-Jul-08 22:47:48

I know DP feels the same kind of love - they are a bit out of it though, esp if you are bf'ding.

But it's totally natural. It takes us 9 months to make a baby and we have so much invested in them besides. It's 'easier' (not saying easy at all) for men to make them so on a very profound and biological level the connection just isn't the same...but again it's a v subtle difference, but makes a lot of sense too

I had a bit of emotional double whammy when my son was born- I'd lost my mum a couple of years previous to cancer, and so when he was a few hours old and we were finally alone and I was feeding him (and worshipping a bit, as you do) he suddenly opened his eyes and tried to focus on my face, and I realised with a shock he had my mothers eyes, and omg I was in floods!

These days he usually looks too mischevious to look like my mum, though. He's a little bugger! grin

PrettyCandles Fri 11-Jul-08 23:12:25

Actually, from what you said in reply to me, I think it sounds like he's jealous - maybe he wants a share of the intense love that the baby is generating and receiving.

Sometimes people (and not necessarily men only) can't understand that love for one person is not diminished by loving another at the same time. I don't mean sexually, I mean relationship-wise. I don't love my mum any less for my having fallen in love with dh, and likewise I don't love dh any less for my having fallen in love with our child. It's just that the expression of that love may change. And then, tiredness, stress, hormones, worries...less communication, more assumptions...and so it crumbles.

ChocolateMouse Fri 11-Jul-08 23:42:15

Monkeytrousers - yeah, I think that may have been the case when I b'feeding but that came to a stop when my milk supply didn't catch up. I agree - we have so much invested in them. DS was conceived after a long ivf battle too and that may affect it too.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana - I'm so sorry to hear about your double whammy. That must have been so hard on you. I'm not surprised about the floods of tears after that. Hope you were kind to yourself smile

PrettyCandles - Yes, I think that DS's arrival has changed the whole dynamics of our relationship and we can't seem to agree on anything anymore sad. Agreed, tiredness, stress, hormones etc all add up don't they?

jammi Sat 12-Jul-08 00:58:05

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jammi Sat 12-Jul-08 01:05:08

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ChocolateMouse Sat 12-Jul-08 10:51:11

jammi - Thanks so much for that; I love that statement too - it's beautiful and describes exactly how I feel smile

jammi Sat 12-Jul-08 12:04:05

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ChocolateMouse Sat 12-Jul-08 13:19:25

jammi - what a beautiful idea smile

Mamatastic Sat 12-Jul-08 23:44:55

Hi, these feelings are totally normal! We had IVF too after 5 years of TTC and have been blessed with a beautiful DS (now 8.5months) so finally having our long awaited son might intensify my emotions IYKWIM? I have also thought the same as you, should I feel THIS intensely for my son? I love him, adore him, and every morning is like Christmas when I see him. Not a day goes by when I don't think how lucky we are and how in love I am- often I can even feel my love for him physically (now is that weird? LOL), kind of like when you fall in love when your tum is all fluttery?

Awwwww. Enjoy it all and congrats on the IVF success smile

ChocolateMouse Sun 13-Jul-08 19:56:10

Mamatastic - Awww, thanks so much. Your message moved me to tears. That's you know exactly how I feel and it;s good to hear that I'm not alone in feeling this way. I totally understand where you're coming from with the feeling your love for them physically - I agree, it is a bit like falling in love all over again, in a motherly way smile

Big congratulations to you on your IVF success too Mamatastic and enjoy the gift of parenthood smile

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