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Working 12hours and missing dd

(9 Posts)
mamachat Fri 11-Jul-08 22:22:18

I have started a new job which means I will be out of my house for 12 hours on the days I work.

DD is now one and still bf alot. I have only been to work once so far and she managed just fine with out me and milk.

But she is unwell and I am worried to leave her tomorrow.

Do you think it is too long to leave a one year old that I have spent nearly all day every day with from when she arrived?

I feel very guilty...

findtheriver Fri 11-Jul-08 22:26:13

If she is unwell, then you need to take time off to look after her. You are entitled to this. This is a separate issue from that of being out of the house for 12 hours. Clearly your dd did manage just fine with that. A one year old isnt reliant on bf for nutrition, so you dont need to worry on that score. My dcs carried on bf till well over one, and I could leave them all day or even occasionally overnight and they would still bf on my return.

FairyMum Fri 11-Jul-08 22:29:16

Agree with findtheriver. If she is really unwell, she needs your BM. If you give her BM, she will be back to good health much quicker and you can go back to work. Its your right. If you are worried, just call in sick for yourself!

DarthVader Fri 11-Jul-08 22:31:44

how many days a week do you work?

mamachat Fri 11-Jul-08 22:49:05

My job is just what ever days I can fit in around dp's work.

So this week I work 2days and next week I will not work atall...

I cannot take tomorrow off as it is not a normal job where i am employed, I am kinda self employed but working for someone else...

Ans it is only my second day so cannot pull out now and leave them in a mess with no one to work tomorrow...

DarthVader Fri 11-Jul-08 23:03:27

If she is unwell then stay with her. If not then it is never easy to go to work and leave your child behind but there are lots of benefits to both you and her as well as disadvantages...only you can weigh the balance for your own will be a case of the best balance you can find at the time, there is no perfect recipe...

knickerelasticjones Sat 12-Jul-08 20:30:24

Hi Mamachat

My work sounds pretty similar to yours.

I work 10 hour days two days a week - but as I commute I'm away for much longer than that both days. I'm either out of the house 3.30am - 2.30pm or midday - midnight.

My two DDs at 3.5 and 11 months.

Like you, I agonised about this when I first went back to work (when DD1 was 12 months). I was SO worried that I would be scarring her for life and she would end up clingy, confused etc. But over two years on and things are going fine. I'll be honest and say there are days when it is really difficult and I feel that I have let my children down, but most of the time things are great. On the days when I am off work (which is the other five days of the week) I really enjoy spending time with my daughters and we just have lots of fun. I've perfected the art of just hanging out so the pair of them get lots of very relaxed time together with just me, which I think helps deal with the days when we are apart.

Can I ask who is looking after your DD when you are at work? Is she in childcare the whole time? As I work such long hours my DH picks up the slack and puts the kids to bed when I am at work. He's a bit of a star and the kids adore their special daddy time. And it helps to remind myself that my children have TWO parents!

Lord, I've rambled on - hope some of this makes sense and is a little bit helpful.

all the best!

mamachat Sun 13-Jul-08 10:25:05

Knickerelasticjones - my dp looks after dd when I am at work if he can manage to juggle his shifts around, if not then my mum.

But as I earn good money I am thinking of putting dd into a nursey for a few hours then dp can pick her up when he has finished work...

Poppychick Sun 13-Jul-08 11:30:17

Don't give yourself a hard time, if you've decided to work then get on with it! Your DD will be fine as long as you do stuff when you are there. Quality not quantity. There's no point making a decision then beating yourself up over it.

As for her being poorly - I'd just ring in and tell them. They surely expect from time to time. If they're going to be awkward with you say it's you who is ill instead.

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