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How do you politely tell rabid smokers, not to smoke in front of your kids?

(14 Posts)
mamadadawahwah Wed 26-Jan-05 21:12:06

All my friends smoke. I smoke too but never in front of the kids. I go outside. When friends come over they know I dont allow smoke in the house. But, when i go their house with my kids they light up. They smoke in front of their own kids and feel its ok. Obviously I dont. How do you tell people in their own homes not to smoke in front of your kids? I dont bring my kids to my friends' houses anymore and they are asking why.

misdee Wed 26-Jan-05 21:13:44

tell them your kids dont like the smokey atmosphere, but they are welcome round to yours if they smoke outside.
you cant tell people what to do in their own homes really.

Hulababy Wed 26-Jan-05 21:13:59

I don't think you can, sorry. The only answer is to not take your children round to those houses, and if they ask why - tell them. They then can make the choice themselves, or may arrange an alternative place to meet.

RTKangaMummy Wed 26-Jan-05 21:15:00

Just tell the truth IMHO

But I am a non smoker

happymerryberries Wed 26-Jan-05 21:16:46

I am a rabid anti smoker, no-one smokes in my house. But I don't think that you can dictate to people in their own homes.

None of my friends smoke

pixiefish Wed 26-Jan-05 21:17:05

Agree with Hula. I wouldn leave someone's house if they lit up in front of dd and tell them why (ever so politely) That would also probably be the last time I visited that person's house again. Luckily none of my friends or family smoke- although MIL does she has been warned that I will leave if she lights up in front of dd so the choice is hers

Blu Wed 26-Jan-05 21:17:57

I think it's best to be honest with them, otherwise they'll think you're avoiding thie house for some other reason. Point out that you never smoke in your own house or in front of kids, so it doesn't add up if you take them to other people's smoky houses. I'm sure you can find a nice way to say it - you don't need to make a big deal of it or seem to be lecturing them.

mamadadawahwah Wed 26-Jan-05 21:18:30

Yeah, RTK, i have hinted at the truth. Really peeves me that they smoke in front of their own kids too, but what can i do. If they wanna poison their kids, i suppose they have that right. Terrible.

SoupDragon Wed 26-Jan-05 21:18:58

Sorry, their house, their rules I'm afraid.

charliecat Wed 26-Jan-05 21:19:35

In that situation I just tell my kids to stay out of the room as its all smoky when they wander in...they retreat and my friends tend to then linger near the open door or open window smoking instead...so letting them know without staying anything too them IFKWIM

mamadadawahwah Wed 26-Jan-05 21:19:58

yeah, they all know i dont allow it in my own home and they know i dont want them to smoke in front of my kids and they always ask, "is it ok if i smoke", in their own homes. so waddya say? I think i will just continue not bringing the kids to their homes. Dont wanna lose friends over it.

MUD Wed 26-Jan-05 21:22:00

just tell them

I don't feel comfortable taking my children to your house because I don't like them being exposed to smoking, I can't ask you not to smoke in your own home, so I think its best if they don't come

or words to that effect

onlyjoking Wed 26-Jan-05 21:26:06

tricky i someone elses house i think, but i would be honest with them, i smoke but only in the evenings and the kids are in bed, my three do not know i smoke and i wished i didnt smoke, to be honest i really couldn't justify smoking to my kids, if they see someone out and about smoking DD1 will say very loudly look mum they are smoking, they will die wont they

mamadadawahwah Wed 26-Jan-05 21:30:39

MUD, yeah, i think they know this already, i just have to face up to it, and say it to them.

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