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What word do you use instead of no?

(43 Posts)
mamadadawahwah Wed 26-Jan-05 20:46:57

I have tried not to say the n word in front of my kids. If they grab something which isnt theirs, i say "mommies" or "we dont do that". yet they still use the word no. Is it genetic, this word?

skeptic Wed 26-Jan-05 20:52:54

You tell 'em what you want them to do, rather than what you don't want them to do.

"Darlings, let's go and play with some Duplo..."

Gobbledigook Wed 26-Jan-05 20:52:58

Is there a reason you don't want to use 'no'? Am I missing something? I say it all the time!

Gobbledigook Wed 26-Jan-05 20:53:28

Oh I see, yes I do that too if possible. If one ds hits the other I'm afraid it has to be 'no'.

happymerryberries Wed 26-Jan-05 20:55:11

Sorry, cynic in me thinks that you reach a point when you have to say no. I'm all in favour of positive parenting, but I teach far too many teenagers who have never been told the word 'no' and it has not done them any favours.

albosmum Wed 26-Jan-05 20:58:54

I try to say - I really don't think thats a good idea and Why

Then I end up saying NO

mamadadawahwah Wed 26-Jan-05 20:59:12

Many words for no. When you say no, it just sits there out in space. A toddler sort of knows what it means, but I try to embellish it a little by telling them why they cant do that or this. You could use ixnay for no or any word. I just dont want my kids running round saying no all the time. Its not really positive parenting, its making use of the dictionary.

mamadadawahwah Wed 26-Jan-05 21:00:07

When my kids get older i will teach them "no" about strangers and what not. Definite need for the word no then. But now they are too young. I want them to know that NO really means something.

Branster Wed 26-Jan-05 21:03:51

dd went through a stage when 'no' was the msot used word throughout the day. now it's changed to 'i don't know'

JanH Wed 26-Jan-05 21:12:15

A friend of ours always used to say "off you go and..." where I would say "go away and...." - which I thought was less dismissive.

But if NO was needed we both would say NO!

SofiaAmes Wed 26-Jan-05 21:49:45

I used the word NO all the time with my children when they were younger, but have gotten much more creative as they have gotten older (2 and 4 now). Now I say things like "If you do that you're dead meat." or even "If you don't stop hitting your sister you'll be really sorry because one day she'll be bigger than you and beat the c**p out of you." Maybe no was better.

handlemecarefully Wed 26-Jan-05 21:55:58

Lol SofiaAmes,

It's not just me then!

medusamum Wed 26-Jan-05 21:56:42

I have found 'I really wish you would continue to do that' or 'no you can't go to bed tonight' effective - at least the look on their faces gives you a tension busting giggle...

lulupop Thu 27-Jan-05 12:57:56

I'm all for giving an (age-appropriate)explanation of why you are saying No, but for goodness sake, children need to hear in no (sorry ) uncertain terms that some types of behaviour are unacceptable. When I see people telling their 2 and 3 year olds "Mummy would prefer it if you didn't do that because it hurt her feelings and made her sad..." I just want to laugh! You can see the kids' eyes glazing over.

All children misbehave from time to time, and they all need to know the boundaries. Firm, clear instructions to young children are by far the most effective means of setting those boundaries, IME. The lengthy explanations can wait till they are actually old enough to take them on board.

ThomCat Thu 27-Jan-05 13:07:49

if lottie throws her cup across the room, she get's told 'No Charlotte, you don't throw your cup, put it back on the table nicely please.'

If she turns on the TV herself and I don't want her to watch tV i say 'Charlotte, no darling, come and read a book with mummy'.

I don't get what's wrong with th word no tbh, as long as you don't bark 'NO' at them everytime they try and touch something.

suzywong Thu 27-Jan-05 13:08:53

yeah, what's wrong with No?

When you have more than one it is an invaluable word in the child management handbook.

SkiBunnyFlummy Thu 27-Jan-05 13:09:10

What is wrong with the word no?

I like, it.

Short, sweet, does what it says on the tin.

Don't say no very often though as am far too lax and liberal.

SkiBunnyFlummy Thu 27-Jan-05 13:13:20

Heres a funny one my parents did.

One day they just stopped saying NO.

So it was:

'Can I play out' ' yes'
'Can I have a sindy' yes
'can we go to Disneyworld' yes

etc etc. We were baffled so started asking 'for the world' and finding it all really amusing.

..... until we found out that none of the requested things were forthcoming it was just a new strategy to keep us quiet. As you can't follow a 'yes' with 'Oh mum, please, please, please, go on, please.

The other one they did all the time was

'Ask your father' so you did, what did you get
'Ask your mother' etc etc round in circles till you got bored and gave up.

motherinferior Thu 27-Jan-05 13:13:59



WHICH BIT OF 'DON'T DO THAT' DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND (evil one this, gets DD1 truly wound up with four-year-old indignation that 'I understand lots of things, mummy')?


Must try harder. I think I shall try Sofia's approach.

morningpaper Thu 27-Jan-05 13:18:24

I don't understand the avoiding 'no' issue at all.

When chastising, I just try to avoid screaming the word "F*CKING" where possible.

sozie Thu 27-Jan-05 13:27:11

Morningpaper, me too pmsl

suzywong Thu 27-Jan-05 13:30:20

spray@ that MP

I swear when I am really really pushed by my kids, I really try not to and if I heard anyone else speak to their kids the way I have done (I promise not to do it again) I would be outraged.

Mild Mannered Middleclass Mum on the outside, Trisha Guest on the inside

Nikkichik Thu 27-Jan-05 13:30:54

Do try not to say it all the time as am trying not to be so negative but sometimes if dd is doing something really silly/dangerous there often isn't the time to think of something more wordy to replace it with!

SkiBunnyFlummy Thu 27-Jan-05 13:52:57

I try to avoid the word YES as often as possible as I don't want my child to be disappointed later on in life.

KateandtheGirls Thu 27-Jan-05 13:55:13

Morningpaper Exactly!

I say NO all the time, but I try and explain my reasons so that they learn something. (That's the theory anyway...)

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