honey our daughters coughing

[Frizbe]

well, thanks for waking me from my nice deep sleep to tell me and what do you think I can do about it that you can't dearest dh.......ooooh take her a drink.....umm that seems to have worked, hello dh, are you awake... no thought not.....MEN

[JennyX]

Message withdrawn

[BubblesDeVere]

Frizbe, I know EXACTLY what you are going through, except I don't get him telling me, but he suddenly starts to thrash around in 'his sleep' which he never usually does, and he tends to push me quite hard few times to make sure I get the message.

Don't get me on the subject on Men at the min I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo with mine.

[piffle]

out at the farm the other day, dh called me over to say dd was cold and grumpy.
I was worming the horses.
Honestly... what did he think the baby bag was on the pram for and why did he not put her coat on?
ARGHHH

[Lonelymum]

Bubblesdevere - that is exactly what I do to my dh in the same situation! I would say 99 times out of 100 it works!

[Frizbe]

lol they are quite rubbish at times aren't they, however have forgiven mine this am, as he got up with the kids at 7 letting me lie in until 9am, and he apologised for waking me, realised he shouldn't have been so rubbish

[helsy]

Oh, how timely....

Weeeeeeeeeeeell, I decided to let my DH sleep in today until 11 yes 11, quite happy, felt all virtuous as I played downstairs with the kids, then went into the utility to put some washing in and found that the washing he'd put in last night which I'd had to bully him into doing just to save me some time today as it's built up because we moved house last week and have been busy, was in fact CLEAN washing from the ironing basket (bit of a clue, it was all folded up nicely and not PILED UP AGAINST THE B**Y WALL!) so now I'm redrying the clothes I washed two days ago and no further ahead with the washing. Had to come upstairs and go on mumsnet to calm down, so thanks!
He's just brought me in a cup of tea and is looking after the baby, but no doubt we'll end up having one of those conversations about me not being able to think of everything that needs doing and not wanting to have to ask him to do things all the time because it makes me feel like a nag. In fact when I mentioned the washing, he rolled his eyes to the ceiling and said "Yes ok so I made a mistake, it's not a crisis is it?"

[sozie]

No please don't get me started. I have been potty training ds since before Christmas and he really seemed to be clean and dry until total regression last week (he has started play group). I am persevering but dh saw him in the corner concentrating which means poo and all he said was are you doing a poo and left him there -I had to run him to the potty by which time there was poo in his pants and guess who had to change him and rinse the pants - I'll give you a clue ; not dh

[melsy]

GAWD jst go GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR with that. "Melsy shes crying" , "melsy she needs her face washed" , "melsy she needs a bath". Normally he comes bounding up the stairs to tell me so, so Im like so why cant you see to it?? Then you feel guilty cos your not doing EVERYTHNG 24/7 and therefore are a selfish mother. Dont get me started today , have u seen my carpet sillage thread. Im spose to be having a free day fomr mummmy job to do work for m,y small business, bit has dh heard that dd is ca;ling him from cot RIGHT NOW !!!!!!!!!!!

[melsy]

spillage I mean !!not sillage , although thats what is coming out my ears right now with frustration and ggggggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[helsy]

Hmm things just got slightly worse here - huge row, lots of recriminations and dh has now taken dd1 to a party and is barely speaking to me which will mean he's "reevaluating our relationship" in the car. Great. Not quite sure how that happened since I wasn't the one who cocked up, but there you go...won't hijack thread.

[Frizbe]

oh, no don't worry about hijack go for it helsy, maybe he'll evalutate in the manner of realising he's in the wrong (look there goes a flying pig!)

[mummytojames]

my dp just as bad
thursday he was supposed to be looking after the baby all day for me to have a rest now typical day i look after the baby and him is i get up with ds at eight make or cook his breckfast change him play with him get dp up at ten make him a cupper play some more watch tv then cook mine and ds dinner then play so on so on then bath time i help strip him dp baths him while i cook his supper if dp want to eat the same time easy night put ds to bed and relaxing from nine onwards if he dont want to eat the same time put ds to bed start cooking for me and him then at nine oclock relaxed by ten this is seven days a week
the other day he was supposed to have him for the day for me to relaxs so the night before he said what is he having for his breackfast i said what ever he wants
that day he wakes me up at nineto say my mother phoned and he has already fed the baby i said oh alright what did you give him big smile on his face he said yoghurt i ended up still playing with the baby before dashing out because my fathers car had broken down gets back ds goes down for his nap ut when he woke up dp says can you cook his dinner im tired so while feeling pissed of having ds tugging me constantly trying to cook his dinnerafter that was all done he gets up and i tell him i have to go out again to help with my fathers car and grab a few things for him gets backk grabs a hour get up dp is giving ds his supper i asked what he was having and he said tinned veg soup no kidding there was more water than anything it it and looked at me straight faced and said your right it is hard trying to look after him while doing his meals he opened a couple of yoghurt and one tin
sorry needed that rant

[BubblesDeVere]

Blimey MTJ, how do you stay so calm, what gets me is when DH says he will do the kids teas, he then spends an hour in the kitchen doorhole asking how many of these do they want, how do you cook this, what do you do with that aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.

And he NEVER washes up as he goes along and then complains about the washing up and leaves it all to me.

[tribpot]

Whilst obviously sympathising with this thread I have to say some of the stories made me laugh - mostly in disbelief I think! Just to be on the safe side I read the thread to my dh so he could get a few early pointers on 'things which will drive me round the bend and lead to his premature death'.

Mind you, I'm hoping (perhaps naive optimism, who knows) that as he'll be staying at home with the baby whilst I go back to work he will have no option but to be a bit more proactive. Surely he wouldn't phone me at work to say "the baby's cold, what shall I do?" .... would he?!

[helsy]

DH is back, calmer, and he's just made up a bottle (ready milk, of course!) and washed the dishes - well, filled the dishwasher(new today!). We'll see how it goes. Might even get away with not getting up to dd2 tonight if he's feeling apologetic enough...

[KathH]

dont bank on him not ringing - when i went back to work after ds was born. on my first day back (childminder was off as bank holiday) i got a phone call at 3pm to say baby screaming head off - whats the matter with him and then he put ds on phone to demonstrate. ds was 4 months old at the time. and oh yes went to sainsburys last week for a whole hour with dd1 and dd2 and came dootback to find dh and ds (16 weeks) literally on the doorstep with ds screaming and dh said in very accusing voice "he's been like this since you went" followed by "i've been trying to ring you on your mobile to tell you to come home". am very tempted to ring him at work next week and tell him baby is screaming and to come home - might save it for the day his area manager comes over.

[Tortington]

so why dont you tell them to do it?

if kid wakes up and they hear it - they should do something surely or the words useless tossing fckwit would come out of my mouth before punching him awake and yelling at him to get a glass of water and the calpol - which - i would explain- he could have done semi concious but now i would hope he is fully awake which was all completley fcking unecessary due to his incompitent downright lazy fat arse

or something similar

i mean with the clean washing - i would leave it wet til HE dries it AND irons it.

are they not a parent too? do they not live in the house too? if they want somewhere clean to rent with no children to distract them tell them to f*ck off to the travellodge - why do you let them get away with it - i dont get it!

[helsy]

Oh Custardo, how sweet and how naive. I'm just sick of arguing, and me a feminist too. I woke him up last night to feed her and I ended up holding her whilst he went to get the milk! No point me refusing because she would have been left on the floor downstairs, or, worse, on the sofa. Have tried leaving things but they just get left until I can't bear it - his filth threshold is far higher than mine. Almost came to blows about this five years ago!

[anorak]

I love custardo

[helsy]

Realised that I made that sound much worse than it is - I meant he'd probably leave dd on the mat and she'd be crying.

[Tortington]

not naive, when my ds1 was 3 months old, i chucked my fat lazy arse good for nothing dh out. 15 years later - he is as capable of doing anything around the house and with the children as i am - i wasnt instantly given a brain implant of how to bring up children, iron clothes, go to work, do homework and cook when i got married - these things have to be learnt they are not owned by me by virtue of being female

[Tortington]

that was a cross between chucked him out for 3 months when ds1 was 12months old ish. (- not that it matters but if i mention it in a year someone is bound to pullme on it.)

but there is no naivity - i tend to give advice based on experience - in this case having nearly died giving birth having to wash iron cook clean look after a new baby whilst iwas still very weak whilst himself thought the pub was his best friend and the baby was something - i did - as if he cared what i did! but he always got up to take his ready made sandwiches to work and put on his fereshly washed and perfectly ironed shirts hung with a different tie for each day of the week.

so one day i thought fuck this!

no naivity here Helsy

[colditzmum]

I do agree with custardo, but also know how hard it is to fly in the face of TOTAL APATHY!!!!

The amount of times I have sat on the toilet and screamed at dp "He has been bebbling to you for 15 minutes and you haven't responded once, is it any effing wonder he's been referred to SALT!!!!!"

Or, Babe, he's crying
I know.
Do you want me to go then?

Well, duh, y'think?? No darling, your sleep is man sleep and therefore far important than mine.

Just keep shouting, "afterbirth is not an instruction manual, and the womb is not the fount of all decisions"

[colditzmum]

......and the bile has killed the thread

[Tortington]

lol great post