now she's begging me to get her ears pierced! (bit long but bear with me)

[cariboo]

Recently I posted that dd(8 next week) wanted an ipod or a mobile phone for her birthday. In their infinite wisdom, MNers said 'forget it' to phone & 'maybe' to more modest MP3 player. I agree & so do my RL friends. Fine, we're all in agreement

BUT dd's also desperate to have her ears pierced & I've always said no, not until she's 10. At a girls' night out last night, my RL friends said they thought I should relent as ear-piercing is far more acceptable for an 8yr old than a mobile phone. Well, maybe it is in Switzerland but for us anglo-saxons, ear-piercing is, well, yuck. Or was that 20 yrs ago?

What do you wise MNers think?

[Twiglett]

she's too fucking young

even 10 is too young IMHO (but if you're ok with that then that's fine) .. teenage right of passage IMO

[Blandmum]

dd will be 16 before I 'let her', officialy.

Unofficialy I will let her at 14, so that she thinks that she has won

[maidamess]

I think too young. And there are loads of funky clip on or magnetic earrings available in Claires Accessories.

[LucyJones]

you see if she gets them pierced at 8 where do you go from there? tattoo at 10, punk do at 14?

[cariboo]

No I'm not even okay with 10 but seeing as I drove my own mum insane, she relented when I was 10. So dd knows when I had my ears pierced.

(Why is every day a battle with dcs? And I have a feeling it's only going to get worse.)

[clumsymum]

No No NO. Too young because ....

a) It hurts having it done (even if only for a second or two), and they do feel sore for a day or two after. You don't let your children do things that cause them pain.
b) They need looking after for a few weeks after they are done, or they will get infected. 8 y.o. is too young to do the looking after, and she'll cry if you turn them and dab them for her.
c) She is still at the age to run round/trampoline/climb trees etc etc, where the studs could get caught and cause tearing etc to the ear. When she has grown out of childish play, she's old enough to have pierced ears.

Anyway, she's your dd, whatever friends say should be irrelevant (including us )

[Thomcat]

Personally I wouldn't do it at 8, and I don't like seeing it on really young girls. Anyone under ....12. I had mine done at 7 but no way I'm letting mine get theirs done then.

Give her something to look forward to and say she can enjoy that thought for the next 5 years!
Tell her a few horror stories about ear piercing????
Tell her she can have a fab new grown up hair cut or take her for a grown up manicure or pedicure, get some vile nail art done for her on her big toe. Anything to distract her from the piercing of her ears.

[cariboo]

I know she's my dd but I'm at my wit's end atm. Everything I do seems to be wrong! I know -- whinge, whinge, poor me, etc but what do you do with a 7 yr old who behaves like a 15 yr old and a 4 yr old ds who behaves like a psychopath?

[Thomcat]

Piercing her ears won't stop the whinging though. She'll just be the same old whiner but with ears that have gone sceptic at the back!!!!!!!!!

[cariboo]

LOL Thomcat!

[Thomcat]

You do have my upmost sympathy though.

Get her the piercing that goes through both lips so you bolt her both shut when it all get s a bit much - then everyones a winner!

[Miaou]

if you give in to this though you are sending the message that whinging and driving you mad works. then she'll find something else to want and drive you mad about that!

[Thomcat]

If she's anything like me she'll wear you down eventually
God I feel so sorry for my mum. We're gettign bitten on our arses for how we behaved when we were kids. I was warned of this aged 8 myself!

[Nbg]

I've seen far too many childrens ears that have been ripped from catching their earrings.

I really wouldnt let her have it done.

Just make sure that the MP3 is a good un and she'll foget about the ear piercing.

For a short while anyway

[cory]

For Anglo-Saxons, it depends very much on local culture IME. The kids from the estate down the road all seem to have their ears pierced when they're babies.

I think this is one of those cases where you genuinely are going to have to stick to what you feel comfortable with and ignore anybody else.

I have told dd not until she is 15, and she knows that's final. (Have also told ds (8) that he can't buy a DS even with his own money until he reads fluently. He whinges, but I am not giving in)

IME battles usually get more exhausting if one of you suspects that you are not on firm ground- i.e. if you don't really in your heart of hearts think you should say no, or she doesn't really really believe that you would have the stamina to stand firm. Once you've made up your mind it becomes easier.

[clumsymum]

"what do you do with a 7 yr old who behaves like a 15 yr old".

Erm, I went thru this a few months ago with ds (8). I'm afraid I had to become very hard-hearted, and ds thought I was the mother from hell for a few weeks, because I decided to instil the "When I say no, I mean NO" ethic with him.
I hated doing it, and it was hard for about 4 to 6 weeks, but it has cut down his wingeing a great deal. I would say no to unreasonable requests, suggest an alternative if I could, and tell him I wanted to hear no more about it. repeated wingeing would result in loss of priviledges (tv, computer time). I also made sure to say YES whenever I could to reasonable requests.

Sorry, don't have any advise with the psycopath 4 y.o. !!

[tasjaSAmuminUK]

My DD is 2 and I'm going to have her ears pierced in the near future.

I just don't get why the British are going on and on about how young the children is when they get their ears pierced. I should think that you would not worry about it that much. What's the issue????

[ninedragons]

I drove my poor mother nuts about it too.

I think I'll tell my DD I'll take her to get them done when her periods start, to turn the PMT, the pain and embarrassment into a Jewellery Event.

[Seona1973]

I wouldnt have a problem with getting ears pierced from around the age of 5/6. Mine were done at 7.

[systemsaddict]

Mine were done at 12, it kicked off a nickel allergy, I had very very sore and weeping ears for a very long time despite doing everything I was supposed to to keep them clean, and thereafter became allergic to anything with nickel in, including jeans buttons, belt buckles, watch straps etc, covered in weeping sores for years until I reconciled myself to not wearing the teenage clothes / cheap jewellery I wanted to. I really wouldn't like to see a younger child having to deal with that and wish my mum had made me wait till I was a lot older!

[IllegallyBrunette]

Personally I think 8 is fine, but you are her mother it is up to you.

LucyJones - I have to say,your statment about tatoos and punk do's, is one of the most ridiculous things I have read in a while.

[alright]

i wasnt allowed to get my ears pierced until 15 whereupon i went mental and had 8 ear piercing, one nose piercing and a tattoo by 17

[HappyMummyOfOne]

Lukily I hopefully wont have this as have a DS If I did have a daughter, I'd say at least high school age before any piercing.