How old is too old to have a baby - in your mind?

(171 Posts)
winegumss Wed 28-May-08 22:18:15

How old is too old? Have you had a baby over 40 or more and how do you feel? Do others ever comment?

FrannyandZooey Wed 28-May-08 22:18:54

about 36 appparently
I feel too bloody old anyway (am 34 weeks pg)

ChasingSquirrels Wed 28-May-08 22:20:35

for me personally, I think I am too old now (just turned 36). Not because I think I am too old at 36 to have a baby, but because I do not want teenagers when I am in my 50's. Which is a shame, because I would happily have another baby (if I had a partner...).

IdrisTheDragon Wed 28-May-08 22:20:37

About 50 I think. DH's sister was born when their mum was 44 and I don't think anyone has commented ever.

SIL is now 17 and MIL and FIL still seem to have as much energy as ever smile.

jingleyjen Wed 28-May-08 22:21:29

I feel that you should try to be young enough to ON AVERAGE see your child through to adulthood. By that I don't mean 18 I would suggest 25 (ish)
so if average death occurs for a woman at 85 I think 60 is the VERY latest.
My comfort zone is early/mid 40's

Lubyloo Wed 28-May-08 22:22:14

I would say that as long as you conceive naturally then no age is too old. I am however uncomfortable with women having IVF in their late 50s and sixties.

sleepycat Wed 28-May-08 22:24:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

4andnotout Wed 28-May-08 22:26:05

I want to be finished by 30 ideally, as my eldest will be 11 and i dont want a huge gap between the first and eldest. This is just for me as i think as long as you can concieve then i cannot see the problem, my aunt had her 1st baby when i had mine and she was 37.

Sidge Wed 28-May-08 22:31:18

I think if you get pregnant with assistance after you would have naturally gone through the menopause then that's rather weird.

(Not talking about women who have had premature menopause by the way).

hanaflower Wed 28-May-08 22:32:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

winegumss Wed 28-May-08 22:33:29

I agree with -as long as it is natural- these ladies having ivf at 60 seems a little ott!

cheesesarnie Wed 28-May-08 22:35:07

dont know.

SmugColditz Wed 28-May-08 22:35:19

I dunno, 50?

My Grandma had a baby naturally at nearly 47.

It was her last of five, a 'surprise' and apparently it nearly finished her off!

LynetteScavo Wed 28-May-08 22:36:53

I don't feel anywhere near too old, and I'm 36. I knew a couple who had failed to concieve, and had a suprise which resulted in the mum giving birth at 50!

I agree that conceiveing artifically after menopause is too old, but then unfortunately some women do suffer early monopause, so I would have to say late 40's- 50 would be my upper limit.

My mum was 35 whe I was born, and in those days that was ancient!

cheesesarnie Wed 28-May-08 22:41:46

i dont really have an opinion on this but..
im 30 and feel i have a good few years yet hopefully!dh mum was 37 when she had him which i dont find odd.

GentleOtter Wed 28-May-08 22:42:38

I had my third baby at 47.
How do I feel ? Like a zombie right now but was shoveling 2 tons of soil today as well.
I have had the occasional 'good for you' but apart from that it does not seem to surprise anyone including the midwives here...I was seen three times during the entire pregnancy - at 9 weeks, middle then the delivery.

I miss the help and support from our mums though sad as they both died years ago.

winegumss Wed 28-May-08 22:46:10

Gentle otter I am sorry to hear about your mums. Pleased you have 3 children and feel good, sounds like you are as strong as an ox too!!!woth all that shovelling!

alice123 Wed 28-May-08 22:46:10

I had my first at 36 and wish I'd had him earlier. I wish I'd had another but split with his father. Now I think I'm too old, I'm 41. If not physically (which I'm sure I am) then I am too old to cope again with the exhaustion of it all. It's all so much easier now but I haven't got the energy of a 25 year old anymore. I had a really hard pregnancy and labour and I think it would have been easier if I'd been younger.

GentleOtter Wed 28-May-08 22:48:03


FAQ Wed 28-May-08 22:51:58

in my mind until you stop being fertile - so once you hit the menopause - that's it.......

bluenosesaint Wed 28-May-08 22:52:40

Agree with what others have said - if you're older (50 plus i reckon) and need assistance then maybe you're too old.

I think that i would have been happy up to maybe around mid/late 40's so after this is prob where in my mind would be too old.

I'm unfortunately finished at age 32 sad

CaptainUnderpants Wed 28-May-08 22:57:58

Agree with FAQ - the menospause is natures way of saying ' no more babies'

expatinscotland Wed 28-May-08 22:58:56

post menopause - not premature menopause, but you know, natural menopause.

LuckySalem Wed 28-May-08 23:01:53


I would think that 40 is too old but only because by the time they're teenagers you would be 50 something and that seems abit unfair. Esp if your a teenager like I was who wanted my parent's to come out with me round town on my 18th birthday.

Hope that doesn't offend anyone - just my opinion.

Acinonyx Wed 28-May-08 23:02:47

I had dd at 43. That wasn't the plan - long story but it took 8 years to get her. I would have another if I could. I don't think it's ideal to have children at this age - for mother or baby - but I don't think it's any less ideal than many other situations. I do feel a duty to try and survive into her adulthood - and 25 is the age I have as a minimum in my mind. It does worry me a lot that I might die while she is young. (Both my parent had died before she was born.)

I don't like to judge anyone's age, although I am not keen on being 50+ and using donor - the two combined does not sit well with me. But perhpas I am wrong - after all - the test is really whether those children are glad to have been born. That's something we must all hope for.

But no, I don't think I am too old to have a first child - she's nearly 3 and I'm now 46.

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