Nearly 4 & won't go to playschool

[Emelia]

Hi everyone , i am writing this on behalf of my sister who has a little boy who will be 4 in april.

Last year she started him at a nursery & for the first two weeks he was fine then all of a sudden he started screaming when she left him. She persevered but after a further 3 weeks she was advised to take him out as he wasn't ready , the nursery thought that the fact my sister had recently had a baby this was what was upsetting him.

Now(almost a year later) she plans to start him again(at a different nursery)& today took him for a look but the same thing happened & he refused to get out of the pushchair. When he eventually did he screamed & cried. The nursery now don't seem keen to take him , but have agreed to start an hour at a time.

My own little boy was a bit like this but he stopped crying once i had left so i can't offer any advice.

If anyone else has any experience of this at all i know she would appreciate your thoughts!

Many thanks in advance.

[wordsmith]

Hmmm, kids do tend to stop screaming when you leave but this sounds a bit extreme. Can understand the first experience if new sibling had just arrived - is it the same nursery and does he perhaps have residual memories of it? Is he used to other kids or is he fairly solitary?

Whoops sorry I see it is a different nursery. Must read more carefully!

All I can say is that it probably will gradually improve. IMO, it's always helped if they have friends at the same nursery, so perhaps she could arrange to meet up with some of the other mums and their kids (if she knows them) in a less 'threatening' environment?

Sorry not much use....

[Mum2girls]

I feel so sorry for your sister. Any nursery worth their salt should be working with your sister to help her and her son. I'm especially amazed that the 2nd nursery after just 1 bad day are getting cold feet.

I remember one little boy who used to bawl every day at my DDs nursery, but the staff just used to know how to handle it. Distraction, toys, biscuit whatever..

Has your sister explained to her boy what this is all about - e.g. that it's a chance for him to make friends, get him ready for school or whatever else she thinks he might be encouraged by?

What about if your sister promises a small treat after each session, maybe building up to a small present if he manages a weeks worth of sessions?

[Emelia]

Thank you for your thoughts. He is desperate to make friends as his older brother has teased him about not having any. His only friends are my children & children from her friends(though they seem to play with my sisters eldest). Unfortunately she doesn't know any of the parents who attend this playschool though the playschool have advised she takes him to a toddler group which is held in the same hall as the playschool. My sister would describe him as a loner as he doesn't make friends easily. Such a tough one!