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PLEASE read - desperate

(56 Posts)
sadmumupnorth Mon 10-Jan-05 08:49:22

I have had a total of about 5 hours sleep over the last three days and I am completely and utterly exhaisted. It's not my baby can't leep because he sleeps fine it's me. I can't cope and am cryinga as I type this. Please smeone help. I am so desperate and just want some sleep.

HappyNewCardigan Mon 10-Jan-05 08:51:17

How old is your baby? Call your doc on this.

fostermum Mon 10-Jan-05 08:51:40

how olds baby?what other things are on your mind?
many old and tested ways to induce sleep if you just cant get off, but you have my sympathys as dh and i are haveing trouble in this area too

lunavix Mon 10-Jan-05 08:52:52

I know exactly how you feel hun. Ds sleeps fine and I can't. If you go the the gp, he can give you some sleeping tablets. It's not a solution in itself, but it'll get you those hours of sleep you need so when you've caught up you can address whats causing you not to sleep.

I hope you feel better soon xxx

tribpot Mon 10-Jan-05 08:53:05

Sadmum, I think you need to make an emergency appointment to see your GP today. Give them a ring when they open, they should be able to fit you in even if you have to go and wait for a while.

Is there anyone who can come in and help you with the baby for a few days?

anorak Mon 10-Jan-05 08:55:12

Hi sadmum, so sorry to hear you are feeling like this. My youngest is 4 now (I have 3 kids) and I remember feeling desperate so many times. In fact most of my friends admit to feeling the same at times when they had very small children. It can be very tough indeed. So take heart, you are not the only one, and in fact I think most mums go through this sometimes.

You need some support. Could it be pnd? It may not be but if you think it's possible have the doctor check your symptoms. Whatever happens I would certainly suggest you phone your health visitor who may have some ideas to help you relax. How supportive is your partner? Does he know how tired and upset you are?

Accept all offers of help. Let the housework go, it doesn't matter. Take relaxing baths, sip camomile tea, avoid stressful situations if you can.

I think there are lots of mums here who are experts on this kind of thing, which I'm not. Hopefully one will come on with something helpful to say to you, very soon.

Lots of love, hang in there, don't despair, you will get support on mumsnet. xxx

sadmumupnorth Mon 10-Jan-05 08:55:57

Feel horrible, just called my friend at work and cried down the phone. Ther si no family hearby and all my freinds work full time.

sadmumupnorth Mon 10-Jan-05 08:57:47

My friend is lovely, she has offered to take an earky lunch and come round for a couple of hours but i can't expect her to do this. I feel terrible.

Thank you so much for all your kind words, it mans alot

HappyNewCardigan Mon 10-Jan-05 08:57:58

Call gp asap for appointment to be sure it's not pnd. Talk to hv - are there any local playgroups, mums groups? Best wishes

sadmumupnorth Mon 10-Jan-05 09:01:02

Mums group is on Mondays but doesn't start til next week. I have been diagnosed with PND think that is what is causing sleeplessness.

I know I would feel better if I just get some sleep, but as soon as I lie down I feel so tense and miserable and my mind is racing.

nightowl Mon 10-Jan-05 09:14:36

i can sympathise...most of the time my baby sleeps well..its me that has the problem. (as most mumsnetters have noticed, i am the sad loner who stalks around here in the night, i think they are used to me now!) it really doesnt help. im either exhuasted or im wide awake and smiling like someone from a toothpaste advert. i fall asleep in the day and cant sleep at night..sometimes i'll go three days without sleep. other times i just cant get up from the sofa...i dont know how to if i did id be okay too, but i do understand xx

lowcalCOD Mon 10-Jan-05 09:16:12

god poor you
park yourself ad baby on soaf uin fornt of tva nd doze ther?

nightowl Mon 10-Jan-05 09:17:07

as you can see, that where i got my name, ive been like this for a year. tonight for instance, i was so tired. went to bed at 11 and woke at about 4.30..been on here ever since.

sadmumupnorth Mon 10-Jan-05 09:22:43

Nightowl that sounds just like me. i can't sleep unless I am so phycially and mentally exhausted that I have no choice. Of couyrse if I feel like that when baby is awake or needs a feed it's just tough.

jangly Mon 10-Jan-05 09:23:37

Have you got a Waitrose near you? They do a high melatonin milk to help with sleeping. I've been drinking it at bedtime for last two nights and I've slept better. Might be worth a try.

PuffTheMagicDragon Mon 10-Jan-05 09:27:05

sadmum - take up your friend's offer. She sounds lovely. She wouldn't offer unless she meant it.

nightowl Mon 10-Jan-05 09:27:54

it is so hard at times. i think i got into the routine when baby was very small. she didnt sleept at night but slept all day so i kind of went along with that. the last couple of months ive tried to get back into a decent routine, get kids to bed, come on here for a bit to relax but then as soon as my head hits the pillow my mind is whirring. like i say, even if i get to sleep, it doesnt last long. i can bet also that by 1pm im falling asleep again. just cant get my head around it!

nightowl Mon 10-Jan-05 09:31:11

are you a single mum or do you have a partner btw...apologies if i missed it. i would accept your friend's offer if i could. in a year ive only asked my mum once if she could take my two and i must admit it did help.

sadmumupnorth Mon 10-Jan-05 09:34:52


Sorry didn't answer you before. Baby is 9 weeks old.

sadmumupnorth Mon 10-Jan-05 09:37:51

I have a partner, he is very supportive, but had to go into work today, big deadline. I can't expect him to stay at home.

It's been worse the last few days because he has had a really bad head cold and hasn't been sleeping well.

My friend is lovely she's a really big help but i still feel seful for asking. It's not her job to help but I didn't know hwat else to do

nightowl Mon 10-Jan-05 09:40:19

but surely if shes a true friend then thats what friends are for? im sure she can see how much it means to you. has she children of her own?

wild Mon 10-Jan-05 09:40:49

Yes, if I had a friend like you I would want to know! and to help. Talk to her about it. And you are not alone. I found being a mum very very hard, was always tired and felt isolated and low. And that was without the sleep problem on top. Take care

wild Mon 10-Jan-05 09:41:49

in fact I would be hurt if a friend of mine felt this way and could not ask me

PuffTheMagicDragon Mon 10-Jan-05 09:42:01

sadmum, I think it will really help you today to have your friend come over. I found the combination of lack of sleep and isolation really hard too.

Hope you get to see your gp soon too.

moondog Mon 10-Jan-05 09:42:51

Poor you!! Went through this with both of my two and remember how dreadful it was.

Take up your friend's offer. It may seem like a big sacrifice to you, but any friend worth their salt would do it. When you're in a state, things like that seem like big favours but they aren't really. I remember refusing my mother's offer to look after our screaming colicky dd one night so I could sleep. Weirdly I refused-felt that she wouldn't be able to cope.

You WILL sleep eventually, when you need to.

It's always said I know, but you need to forget about routines and day and night for a while. Sleep when the baby sleeps. if you lie in bed all day and are up all night, what does it matter?

Book a massage/reflexogy treatment. I couldn't sleep when pregnant and was desperate. my sister massaged my feet for me-worked like magic.

Try a stiff drink. A hot toddy worked for me a couple of times-whiskey, honey and lemon. felt all woozy and relaxed afterwards. Don't overdo it though (obviously!!)
Never drink spirits but this worked.

Keep chatting on MN. It will keep it all in perspective.

Hang in there-it will get better. XXXX

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