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Anyone read and implemented theories from

(6 Posts)
oswald Thu 23-Dec-04 17:40:45

I've just read this and thought it was really interesting but thought some of it was very Americanised eg cant imagine my dh agreeing to sit down and compose a written set of family rules and values but some of the actual methods seem good eg not allowing endless arguing, negotiating, not asking why they've done something all the time so they can make something up, seeing crying,whining, being fragile, shy can SOMETIMES be a manipulative technique. Anyone taken on any of this advice, what did you agree/disagree with ?

oswald Thu 23-Dec-04 17:41:52

Oops meant to add name of book 'THe Manipulative Child.

DoesntChristmasDragOn Thu 23-Dec-04 18:25:03

Not heard of this book I'm afraid.

zebra Fri 31-Dec-04 19:02:24

The reviews on Amazon are mostly good, definitely sounds interesting. That said, the title seems silly. Of course children are manipulative... so am I . I try to manipulate my little ones all the time! Send me your copy, let me read it, I'll send it back & tell you what I think? LOL.
Only half-joking...

aloha Fri 31-Dec-04 19:41:59

I agree with not arguing and negotiating whenever possible (esp with young children - distraction works much better IME ), and I really agree with not asking why a child has done something (mainly because it is just trying to get them to criticise themselves and often they don't understand their own motives at all). However, I don't think children are particularly 'manipulative' and it's not a word I like much as it is usually applied to the powerless and not the powerful, when in the real world the powerful manipulate the powerless a lot more than the other way round (ie you often hear about 'manipulative' women but rarely or never about manipulative men). I do like a book called The Heart of Parenting by John Gottman - again very American but I think a compassionate and practical approach. It's all about emotional intelligence.

oswald Mon 03-Jan-05 14:17:37

Thanks for the responses. I seem to read so many of these books and sometimes cant decide what I actually think IFYKWIM. Is the John Gottman book similar in theory to the Manipulative Child aloha? I'm up for that zebra,CAT me and I'll send it when I get the chance.

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