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What's the right age for sleepovers?

(16 Posts)
xmascaroltygirl Fri 17-Dec-04 14:51:37

My dd1's best friend, C, has started asking if she can sleep over at our house one night. They have both just turned 6. As dd1 is my oldest, I don't know what age sleepovers generally start, but just 6 seems very young to me... or perhaps I'm too fussy? I hadn't been expecting to have to start that until 7 or 8 at the earliest!

C's mum hasn't mentioned this at all - although C says her mother allows her - so I'll mention it to her the next time we're chatting. For all I know this is just something that C has just thought of for herself! . As far as I'm concerned, if she's happy about C staying over here then I'll give it a go (although I have no idea what form these things take if she does!). C is a lovely, friendly and confident wee thing and has never given any trouble when she comes for tea, etc.

However, there is no way that dd1 is ready for sleepovers. She has never stayed anywhere without either me or dh. It's only quite recently that she started being able to go to her friends' houses after school without me coming too, and she still hasn't got the hang of going to someone's house for tea and actually eating anything...! I don't even think she would want to sleep over with anyone yet and even if she asked I would have to say no, as I'm perfectly aware of how it would go. But I don't want to offend C's mum by seeming to suggest that she wouldn't be capable of looking after dd1.

So I thought I'd ask: is 6 too young for sleepovers anyway?


Tinker Fri 17-Dec-04 14:55:01

As with everything, it depends... I know my daughter wouldn't have been ready at 6 (she's 7 now and we still haven't done this yet) but I guess so can cope. I couldn't cope as the parent thouhgh. God, I'd have to get early and prepare a proper breakfast

Tinker Fri 17-Dec-04 14:55:30

if she can cope I meant to say

Christmaslistmaker Fri 17-Dec-04 15:06:10

My dd1 who is nearly 7 wanted one for her birthday but I've put her off the idea so she now thinks she'll have one for her 8th birthday - unless I can put her off that too!

I'm sure the other Mum would understand that your dd is not ready for it. I think my dd1 would be fine but I would fully understand others having wobbles and would be ready to phone the parents to come and get them!

I think generally it's something to put off as long as possible because kids with sleep deprivation are hell!!

NotQuiteCockney Fri 17-Dec-04 15:13:27

DS1, who is 3, has been asking for sleepovers lately. Well, saying he wants to sleep in a friend's bed, or have him over to sleep. We'll probably do it sometime soon.

And one of his friends is having a sleepover tonight, both her (3) and her brother (2) at another boy's house.

I wouldn't do it at this age without DS knowing the parents very well, as where as the kids. And I'd only do it very locally. He's slept over at an adult friend's house already.

SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown Fri 17-Dec-04 15:18:02

My dd started sleepovers when she was in reception (4/5 yrs) but I have known the parents for a while.

xmascaroltygirl Fri 17-Dec-04 17:51:51

Hmm - maybe I'm just being a bit overprotective, then! Will probably just explain to C's mum that dd1 probably wouldn't be up for it, but if C absolutely insists and is allowed, I might give it a go. Would rather dd1 got a bit more used to going to other people's houses without me before letting her go anywhere. Might ask my sister or someone to keep her for a night and see how that goes.

It all happens so quickly!

Miriam2 Fri 17-Dec-04 18:16:35

Depends on the child but don't think you're being overprotective. When she was 8, my dd was dead keen on the idea-in theory- but when it came to it she didn't want to stay away from home. A year down the line she's been to her best friend's a few times but don't think she'd be keen to go anywhere else. When they are young, I think the child has to know the parents, or the mum at least, quite well. What worked for us was to have the friend here first so dd knew what to expect.

SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown Fri 17-Dec-04 22:56:09

They have fantastic time. I have had dds friends to stay with us too. Lots of giggles and late nights. It's great fun when they are tucked up in bed too - I sit at the bottom of the stairs and listen in to their conversation. It is very, very amusing. Naughty aren't I??

stitch Fri 17-Dec-04 22:59:21

i never had sleepovers as a child. i think the first time i slept somewhere without parents i was fifteen and gone to visit my aunt abroad. i dont think i will be allowing my kids to have sleepovers either.

milliways Fri 17-Dec-04 23:00:24

When mine have sleepovers we leave them all in the lounge & go upstairs for some peace! Teenager girls can be v.giggly & don't go to sleep until after Breakfast.
DS had his first sleepover at 7 as a celebration of being discharged from eneurisis clinic. He fell asleep by 11pm before all his friends!

SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown Fri 17-Dec-04 23:03:14

aw - I wouldn't let mine miss it for anything. They absolutely love it. You're only a kid once - let them have fun!!!!

shirella1 Tue 21-Dec-04 15:59:39


My DS had his first sleepover for his 8th birthday about 2 weeks ago. We had 4 boys come to stay - what a nightmare! They arrived at 5pm, played a bit of PS2, and then we ordered take-away pizzas and a dvd. They were all so over excited and bounced all over the place. Talk about hectic (And I'm 8 months preg)! They all slept on the floor and fell asleep by about 11.30pm. However they all woke each other up about 5.30am..all I could hear was giggling from DS room.

When DS wrote his thank you letters, me and DH went to bed and found a letter on our bed saying "Dear mum and dad, thank you for letting me have a sleepover, I had the best birthday ever!!!" What a nice feeling !

lisalisa Tue 21-Dec-04 16:08:18

Message withdrawn

Kaysleighbells Tue 21-Dec-04 16:16:01

My ds1 who is 6.5 stays at his best friends (about a 4 minute walk away!) and his best friend stays here. They did this for the first time a couple of months ago. I don't think ds1 would go anywhere else though. DS1s best friend is the same age but stays at his cousins a lot so is used to sleepovers.

The first time I had them here they were awake till gone midnight. I was exhausted, but it was lovely listening to them giggling and whispering .

mumeeee Mon 03-Jan-05 16:21:26

My eldest dd who is now 17 went to her first sleepover at 9 and she then had one for her 10th birthday. I would not let a child under 9 go to sleepovers.I do not let any of my children go to a sleepover unless I know the parents.

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