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Parenting

How many generations back did it go wrong for Arthur

285 replies

iwanttobeonleave · 03/12/2021 19:51

The awful case of Arthur L-H has got me thinking about the long term causes of these situations. Clearly all three adults involved were completely despicable but why? What's caused this and where did it go wrong?

Can this level of disfunction happen in one generation or would there be a history of it if one looked back a few generations?

Just such a completely desperate case, the poor, poor child.

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ChristmasKrackers · 03/12/2021 19:53

It can happen within one generation.

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EsmeraldaFudge · 03/12/2021 19:55

His birth mother went to public school and was in her third year at university when she met his father. She then descended into drunk and drug addiction.

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iwanttobeonleave · 03/12/2021 19:56

@ChristmasKrackers

It can happen within one generation.

It why though? How can the 'caring' gene be totally missing? It's so fundamental to human nature isn't it? I wonder what childhood ET had to make her like that.
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iwanttobeonleave · 03/12/2021 19:57

@EsmeraldaFudge

His birth mother went to public school and was in her third year at university when she met his father. She then descended into drunk and drug addiction.

Wow. That's shocking.
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McKesson · 03/12/2021 19:58

@EsmeraldaFudge

His birth mother went to public school and was in her third year at university when she met his father. She then descended into drunk and drug addiction.

That's very sobering to read.
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PicsInRed · 03/12/2021 20:00

The mother alleged domestic abuse at her murder trial. The judge didnt believe her, claiming it went both ways, however that's the response to most women's claims of domestic abuse isn't it. Sally Challon was in prison quite a while before she was freed iirc.

I'd like to hear more about events leading up to the mother murdering her boyfriend, as it could turn out that Arthur's murder was even more avoidable that we now know.

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McKesson · 03/12/2021 20:01

Apparently his mother was doing PPE at the University of Nottingham, so a high flyer. Bloody hell, awful.

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iwanttobeonleave · 03/12/2021 20:04

@McKesson

Apparently his mother was doing PPE at the University of Nottingham, so a high flyer. Bloody hell, awful.

Wow.
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CloudyStorms · 03/12/2021 20:07

His mother isn't the one responsible for his death here so I'm a bit uncomfortable with her past being seen as where it went wrong tbh. There are two people responsible for his death.

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CagneyNYPD1 · 03/12/2021 20:07

Arthur's paternal grandmother reported her own son to ss because of bruising to Arthur. This tells me that she is a good person. Only 2 people know why they did what they did and those 2 will never speak the truth.

I hope that Tustin's 4 biological children get the help and support they need in the near and long term future.

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CloudyStorms · 03/12/2021 20:08

I didn't realise she had children too. Those poor kids!

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iwanttobeonleave · 03/12/2021 20:08

@CloudyStorms

His mother isn't the one responsible for his death here so I'm a bit uncomfortable with her past being seen as where it went wrong tbh. There are two people responsible for his death.

Fair point 👍🏻
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floatinginmyhomie · 03/12/2021 20:09

His paternal grandmother seems like a good person so I don’t know if it does go back generations

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CagneyNYPD1 · 03/12/2021 20:10

Also, the BBC has previously reported that Tustin was pregnant at the time of her arrest. If there is now a baby, I hope that baby is placed with a loving family.

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picklemewalnuts · 03/12/2021 20:12

I've been really distressed about his mother. She's been written off as a murderess, and the first point of failure in his safeguarding.
She had to go to prison, leaving her little boy with his father. Bad enough, but now she's bereaved and grief stricken too. Just because she's in prison doesn't mean she's not lost her baby boy.

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Theoldcuriosityshop · 03/12/2021 20:12

She had an abortion.

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Theoldcuriosityshop · 03/12/2021 20:12

Replying to Cagney

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mathanxiety · 03/12/2021 20:13

That baby was aborted at 21 weeks while in custody.

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CagneyNYPD1 · 03/12/2021 20:13

@CloudyStorms

I didn't realise she had children too. Those poor kids!

2 had already been taken into care, a number of years ago. Her 2 youngest children were living in the house with Arthur. They were treated well when Arthur was being so horrifically abused within the same house. I wouldn't know where to start helping those children with the long term repercussions of what went on in their family home.
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liveforsummer · 03/12/2021 20:14

Just because a child had what is perceived to be a privileged upbringing and gone to a posh school, or has at least one decent parent doesn't mean they haven't suffered abuse and/or extreme trauma. That's worth remembering when people are shocked at the backgrounds of the parents. It could well have gone deeper but as a pp states, I'm not sure we will ever know

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MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 03/12/2021 20:15

I don’t think it’s so much a case of generations this time as much as it is the worst people managed to get together and create hell for him. His mother, without meeting his father may have carried on on the good path she was, but she met him, her life spiralled, she created a child and had him in unacceptable circumstances which ultimately led to him being left with his father who sought out someone even worse than him. Had he not met ET it’s highly likely Arthur would still be living with his grandparents having a normal life. But then again, maybe his father would have just met another abuser instead.

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Udouhun · 03/12/2021 20:15

I think talking about which generation went wrong just let's those 2 evil people off the hook. The responsibility for Arthur's death begins and ends with them.

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CagneyNYPD1 · 03/12/2021 20:15

@mathanxiety

That baby was aborted at 21 weeks while in custody.

I see. I have no words.
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Bagelsandbrie · 03/12/2021 20:16

I hope we’re not going to go down the rabbit hole of suggesting those who are abused go on to be abusers here. There are far more people who were abused as children (like me) who will end up more sensitive, empathetic and determined to be a better parent to their own children than those who go the other way. We just don’t talk as much about these people / “us”.

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picklemewalnuts · 03/12/2021 20:16

His mum's verdict was manslaughter not murder.

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