Sibling aggression - how to deal with this?

(6 Posts)
Jujujuly Thu 14-Oct-21 14:01:32

DD is 3.5, DS is almost 1. DD was great with new sibling until he became mobile but since then it’s been getting harder. DS wants to join in everything DD does and basically goes around trashing duplo constructions/train tracks/elaborate tea party arrangements etc. Obviously I do my best to stop this but DS is very determined and speedy and DD’s stuff is everywhere so impossible to avoid. At first DD would just sort of gently shove him out of the way but now it’s escalated to full on pushing, hitting and kicking, even when DS isn’t in her space.

I don’t know how best to deal with this before it escalates further. I’ve tried minimising it in case she’s just looking for attention (saying “that’s not very nice” then taking DS to another room) which just ends in DD running in screaming, I’ve tried sitting her down to explain that she can’t hurt her baby brother, and I’ve also lost it with her and shouted on occasion, but none of it seems to make any difference as it’s getting worse.

She’s not very good at playing by herself so the times when I have both of them are awful as DD will be demanding I play with her in some small world thing full of choking hazards while simultaneously losing it with DS if he approaches and/or me if I give DS any attention. Help!

OP’s posts: |
Jujujuly Thu 14-Oct-21 20:04:36

Bumping for evening crowd

OP’s posts: |
Wagglerock Thu 14-Oct-21 20:46:27

Similar age gap here and it's a bit of a battle isn't it? My eldest is pretty good at playing by himself though so is often happy to have a bit of play in his room by himself while I sit with the baby (lots of praise about being such a big boy helped!). Can you save small world play for naptime and do a decent play session with her then?

Brollywasntneededafterall Thu 14-Oct-21 21:03:20

Train set on a big table. Special toys out when baby naps...

Brollywasntneededafterall Thu 14-Oct-21 21:04:20

Or a play pen and take it in turns putting 1 in!! Dd may appreciate the peace!!

Topjoe19 Thu 14-Oct-21 21:11:52

It sucks! I had to constantly get down on the floor in between mine to stop this sort of thing happening (similar ages). I would sympathise with my older DD & say I understand how annoying it must be to have a giant baby wrecking her play! Then ask her for solutions - what can we do to stop this? Maybe let younger one play with this bit or encourage her to distract with something age appropriate... It is very tough. I'd try to be understanding of the older one but obviously hitting/pushing would be dealt with! It is hard, but it gets better & mine play together sometimes now!

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