HELP!! 11m old hysterical when we brush his teeth!!

[MrsRose2018]

Hi

Pretty much what the topic says!

Our 11m old has about 10 teeth now and gets absolutely HYSTERICAL when we try and brush his teeth! It completely ruins bed time and takes ages to bring him back after we stop! We've tried EVERYTHING we can think of!

The little brushes he holds himself, the small soft brushes, letting him hold a toy whilst we brush, watching Duggee (that's our go to for all things unpleasant), me reading a book whilst my husband brushes, sitting him up and letting him brush his own teeth....

He’s clearly/we've made him traumatised by the whole process now so I honestly don’t know what to do! I'm tempted to stop trying actually brush his teeth effectively and just let him have a play/joke around and try and make it fun for him and then try again later! Would that damage his teeth?

Does anyone have any tips/ideas?

I'm completely out of ideas! I'm all for being tough for what's best for them but he's sobbing by the time the ordeal is over 💔

TIA x

[honeylou42]

I know it sounds awful but I had to pin mine down quite literally to brush my dds teeth when they were that tiny. Definitely worth it though both 26 now with no fillings, and they did get used to it eventually 😂

[scully29]

Just in case youve not seen these? www.amazon.co.uk/Brush-Baby-BRB001-X96-Chewable-Toothbrush/dp/B00344IMVI/ref=asc_df_B00344IMVI/?hvlocphy=1007179&linkCode=df0&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=256196929108&th=1&hvdev=c&hvtargid=pla-421736720085&hvrand=14827606950035896766&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[IDontDrinkTea]

Have you tried the duggee tooth brushing song?

To be honest, I think you just have to pin them down and do it. Eventually they get used to it and don’t fight anymore

[Decorhate]

Are you using a child-friendly (ie non-minty) toothpaste?

I know and dentists here would be appalled but we gave up with our middle child for quite a while. He had dreadful tantrums as a toddler & it was just another battle I did not need. He has really good teeth, never had a filling etc (he’s 20 now).

[roobicoobi]

Our 11m old has about 10 teeth now and gets absolutely HYSTERICAL when we try and brush his teeth! It completely ruins bed time and takes ages to bring him back after we stop! We've tried EVERYTHING we can think of!

Stop doing at at bedtime. I have no idea how to help make it better but I wouldn't be compromising bedtime for anything.

[MrsRose2018]

Hi All

Thanks for your responses!

We do pin him down which is what I thought was causing the hysterics! My husband has to keep his arms down whilst i place my hand against the side of his head to keep it still but he flails around and sticks his tongue out so we can't get to his teeth! Honestly it's an utter farce!!


I've just been doubting myself whether or not to keep doing it because I feel like it's making the situation worse! You know how they suggest not force feeding/putting pressure on babies with their spoon or food because it causes negative associations?

Tonight was the worst! He was doing those gasping sobs by the time we are done (cannot be more than 30 seconds)...

Like I said I'm ok with cruel to kind but is there an easier way!!

Also @IDontDrinkTea yes that was our go too! Whilst having it on the TV! NAH! Just screws hai eyes shit and screams! Such a diva

[itsamegladon]

I'm pretty certain it's a phase.
Both mine hated brushing their teeth and yes I remember pinning them down to do it. Lots of -do you want your teeth to rot etc.
Horrible horrible horrible mummy

But they both grew out of it. It was a battle I wasn't going to give in on as teeth are far to important.

[scully29]

I was going to say opposite to honeylou and back off for now! Baby teeth are coming out anyway? Mine were always fine but I did have a very no pressure approach and they now brush their teeth beautifully! Hard to know, he's so very little! And at that age I imagine having no sweets and lemonade etc! I think id give him a complete week off and then reapproach with a relaxed approach, having him seen you brush your teeth twice a day.
And, have you seen cebebbies teddles, 'I dont want to brush my teeth...' it is lovely and may cheer you up in the battle!
Also remember watching Elmo on you tube, 'brush brushy brush..' when mine were little. Yes I think id give a complete break and then reapproach, although it kind of sounds like youve tried that already! Im sorry!

[0None0]

I would suggest you try making it a group activity. Everybody does it all together. Everybody is very slow and gentle with their brush, and are happy and obvious while doing it. You and your partner do it at the same time, gently, with a baby brush, stop and chat and resume, and LO with his own brush might copy. If you feel you can cope, you and your partner could then brush each other’s teeth, gently, and cheerfully, and invite LO to brush your too, and LO might eventually be prepared to let you do his. Obviously, lots of praise for anything he does right

[MrsRose2018]

@Decorhate we use the Punch and Judy strawberry kind! He sucks it off the brush we give him first to try and get him to do a bit himself happily enough!

@roobicoobi I was thinking that! Maybe trying it in the morning instead so we at least have the day to have him happy! It's just he goes off to nursery 3 days a week so it's a shit way to start the day! Loose/loose

[scully29]

Yes that level of physical battle you describe sounds awful! Id definitely agree with moving from bedtime, just do after tea. But honestly, surely relationship and nurturing safety is better than baby teeth hygiene? Its baby teeth after all, its more about teaching it to be a habbit rather than actually getting them clean?

[scully29]

Yep agree make it a group, normal family activity, you just do it and in time surely hel want to do it too?

[MistyFrequencies]

We have a complete tooth brushing diva here too. Things that have helped us are Blippi toothbrushing song on YouTube....Oral B bubblegum flavoured toothpaste...but mostly their own electric toothbrush. I'm not sure what age you're supposed to give the electric but it really was the best thing here, he loves the vibration.
If I was you I'd give it a break for a few days then try something new.

[MrsRose2018]

Thank you! I'm liking these suggestions!

I might give the actual brushing a pause for a week, spend the week making it fun twice a day /getting my husband and my sun involved and lots of loves and rewards! I'll deffo check out these videos as well!

Obviously there needs to be a bit of parental authority/perseverance involved but it's not worth the fight every night that's for sure

[PixieDust28]

My DS is 23 months and cries every single time. I'm a dental nurse and there is no way he is escaping the tooth brush. I've seen too much .

What I do is lay him on his back on the floor, place his arms under my knee. My legs or knee don't actually make contact with his arms. He just can't his hand past my knee. He actually doesn't try too in all honesty.

I always sing a song to him I've made up. The theme tune is from toddler club on cbeebies which he loves I just changed the words to 'let's brush our, let's brush our teeth and brush the germs away'. Works a treat.

[PixieDust28]

Do not skip on the brushing. The most important brush is actually in the evening. For adults too.

I've seen some horrendous cavities in baby teeth. We can't just leave them. We have to treat them. Seeing such a young child in the dental chair having treatment is horrible. They're scared. That's more scary than a toothbrush, trust me.

Some simply say about sedation and having them out. No dentist wants to do this.

I don't think anyone would want to sedate their child to fix their teeth. I'd battle the toothbrush a million times over.

Also, flavoured toothpaste isn't great for young kids. I'm not sure why they even sell it! Aquafresh baby toothpaste is one of the better ones.

[Tangled22]

Even ten thorough seconds twice a day is better than nothing at this age. Yes it’s totally normal for babies that age to react that way. You just have to pin them down to get it over with, preferably quickly. He will get over it one day, and then you can start doing the proper 2 minutes.

[PixieDust28]

Oh and just one more thing. Sorry the dental side is coming out in me now.

They're not just baby teeth that are coming out anyway. If a baby tooth has decay it can affect the adult teeth. The developing adult teeth is growing directly under the baby tooth. If the decay is so bad the bacteria in the cavity can cause a dental abscess which can spread down and affect the developing adult tooth under it.

Sorry, I'll stop ranting now! .

[Marmite27]

It’s a cruel to be kind situation IMO.

I demonstrated it was non-negotiable from a really early age, including wrapping them in towels and pinning them down.

They’re 3 and 6 now and have fab dental hygiene and love a trip to the dentist.

[SomeCatsLikeCheese]

Mine is 17 months and we have the same problem. What has helped is distraction. We tried videos and no joy but I’ve started doing stuff like giving him the brush when he’s in the bath to do himself and then finishing off. Sometimes works, sometimes not! I did try leaving it for a weekend but made no difference so now try distraction and plough on…

[MyBossIsATwat]

For a while we all took turns brushing each other’s teeth. Yeah I got jabbed in the eye loads and yeah there was toothpaste everywhere but it worked for a while.

She wasn’t that into milk so for a while we brushed her teeth when she was still strapped into her high chair after her last meal of the day, it was early in the evening but we knew she’d only be having water after that so it was ok, and easier to hold her down when she was strapped in.

We had an elaborate game of ‘mr toothbrush wants to tickle your teeth’ - he had a funny accent etc. Worked for only like 3 days but that’s still a massive victory in the toothbrush wars.

Hey duggee song but not on TV, on one of our phones which we gave her to hold. Yeah we did occasionally get smacked in the head with a phone when she decided to struggle, but it was more successful than on the TV.

Good luck! At least toothbrushes don’t break when you throw them at the wall in frustration.

[Winkywonkydonkey]

Yes pin down - I find head between knees works and then holding arms so you're over the top of them brushing upside down. Firm hold but obviously not hurting them, just stopping them twisting. At about18 months I then do it in front of the TV with 2-3 min Disney song videos like the bare necessities or under the sea. Then eventually move to watching these on the phone in the bathroom.

[bloodywhitecat]

I just stopped doing his teeth for a while, after a few weeks we were able to clean his teeth and he now 'asks' when going up to bed by holding his hand out to the bathroom door. In the interim we gave him toothbrushes to play with.

[purplejungle]

Baby electric tooth brush (£8ish from boots) turned this round for us - as well as fruity baby toothpaste. It does get better!

[scully29]

Yes agree you dont want to go 6 months without brushing babyteeth, but surely a week of non brushing to de-escualate and reapproach is not going to cause a lasting problem! At 11 months with an 11 months old diet! Im sure it would be fine and by going for a total change of pressure, spending a week adult teeth brushing and non forcing and then some subliminal elmo and teddles etc and then some play brushing, and keeping as a straight-after-tea, rather than bedtime kind of time (for now!) is going to be a good long term strategy rather than battling every night. id definitely be trying that. Better to aim to change focus in to getting them to want to brush teeth & making it non negotiable when less of a battle. For mine (5&7) its completely non negotiable and they are perfect with it. Any sign of a not-to-standard tooth brush and I mention the need to completely cut sugar, which works for mine ages, but 11 months is so young. Best option for that age is normalisation or distraction I think.