I'm looking for some advice please I had my 1st child when I was 16 it was a planned pregnancy with a boy I though loved me he told me everything he could to make me believe it. I fell pregnant then he left me I've never seen him to this day. My daughter is now 9. I was in a very bad place looking back and I moved on pritty fast to try and fill this hole he had left. I met this boy when my daughter was 9 months old things got serious very fast and my daughter ended up calling him dad. At first we did correct her but as time went on we both decided that we would allow this to happen as he was the man there for her. I know that this was the wrong thing to do but I was a child having a child and was suffering with depression. I was in this bubble and just needed to feel loved. The relationship went down hill only a few moths into it he started cheating but because I had no self confidence and was so low I took him back. The relationship was never the same from there he was emotionally abusive and I just could not and didn't really want out as I was so scared of being alone. I wish I'd have had the courage to do what deep down I k ew was the right thing and leave but I just couldn't. We ended up having out first child a few years later things got even worse more cheating Controling behaviour trying to stop me from working ect then I fell pregnant again. I ended the relationship so many times but he had this hold over me that I just couldn't brake through. We are now separated and he is still the same emotionally abusive man. It now I am strong enough that I don't let it effect me and this makes him even more mad. He does see the kids but it's a massive effort because he always causes so much drama. Never sticks to the plans turns up late or will not come at all. I know I need to tell my oldest daughter the truth about her real dad but I just don't know how. I've been Tring to do this now for a few years and everything I go to I stop myself because I don't want to hurt her. I know this is all my fault and I can't feel as bad as I already do this is my lie that has gotten me here and I know I have to tell the truth but how? My ex is always telling me he isn't her real dad and its to hurt me I'm so afraid of how their relationship will be after OK he's not the best dad but he was there for her when her real dad wasn't I definitely don't want to slag him off I want her to know that he didn't have to step up for her but u just don't know how to I also don't want to talk badly about her biological father. I don't want my daughter to get hurt I know that her biological father will never see her be made that very clear. What do i say and how. I don't want to say he didn't want us left and has made a new family. None of his family wanted to be involved as they said I was a child and they couldn't be apart of that situation her dad was 19 and I was 15 when we got together but 16 when I fell pregnant I just don't know what to do I really really need some advice please
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How do you possibly tell a child that there dad isn't actually their dad
10 replies
caroline180 · 04/05/2021 16:59
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