Small age gaps

(15 Posts)
BabyB19 Tue 04-May-21 10:36:10

Pros and cons, hit me with them! 💖

OP’s posts: |
Aprilshowersandhail Tue 04-May-21 10:38:17

2 x dd's 15 months apart... Double buggy and managed to sync naps... Passed the clothes along the wardrobe!! Played lovely together..
Then 2020 hit. 2 x periods started and Hell awoken..

AlexaStop Tue 04-May-21 10:43:40

13 month gap here. Currently 9mo and 22mo.

Place marking to find out the pros 😆
Con - night wakings when the tag team one after the other. Double teething.

Spring2021 Tue 04-May-21 11:00:03

DS and DD 13 1/2 months apart. Being pregnant and looking after a baby was hell especially as an older mum 38 with health issues an under active thyroid and anaemia. The first year of DD’s life was exhausting some lovely moments but intense, loads of stress, multi tasking on another level very hard work without a break and feelings of guilt. DH worked long hours and GP’s were no help or support whatsoever. But when DD was around 16 months and for quite a few years after life was much easier and more pleasant they were great friends, had lots of fun and life was good both happy to enjoy the same activities at the same time i.e. farm parks, soft play, zoo, beach etc played with same friends had swimming lessons one after the other etc. Both seemed kind, generous, caring and well adjusted and I often received compliments in restaurants and shops about how well behaved they were etc.

They did have fights arguments and felt badly done to or one was getting more of something from time to time and it was hard and felt like I was splitting myself in two but that is only normal and would happen with big age gaps.

The teenage years has been challenging partly due to my being menopausal coinciding with them changing and teenage hormones into the mix.

Although life was fast, hard work and stressful looking back we have had a lot of fun and laughter and I wouldn’t change a thing except perhaps maybe starting a family younger and having a little support from grandparents if that was possible.

Spring2021 Tue 04-May-21 11:27:34

Just realised another con if DC v close in age teachers are more likely to be the same and will make comparisons and the kids are more likely to compare themselves in our household DS extremely academic and DD bright but more middling. Fortunately they are both now at different secondary schools. She chose to go to a different school to avoid DS and comparisons.

Pro is one of them may tell you if something has happened or is happening with the other at primary/junior school.

Booksandtea84 Tue 04-May-21 12:51:10

From the perspective of someone who lived through the small age gap as an affected child... if you do it make sure you have the capacity to give both kids full attention, don't ignore older because you have to care for the newborn.
I have 2 sisters, 4 years and 13 months older than me. I have a fine relationship with older sister but terrible with middle one. Too close in age, too much competing for parents attention. She bullied me, I was spoilt rotten by parents which causes all sorts of issues. We currently don't talk.
So pros, you get it all over and done with quicker
Cons, it'll be exhausting and you have to work really hard to avoid sibling rivalry escalating.
Might be easier if you have different sexes, I have two cousins, boy/girl, who are 18mths apart, very close in adulthood.

Bee3214 Tue 04-May-21 14:10:23

I have a 2.5 year old and 9 month old
Pros- the first six months are over with. I can go back to work quicker as they will start school one after another.
Cons - can’t nap in the day because the toddler still isn’t old enough for nursery. Double buggy’s are very heavy. Don’t get much of a break as usually one of them is awake. Can’t give either your full attention to either - hard to do activities with toddler because I’ve got to carry the baby.

Heartofstrings Tue 04-May-21 14:16:32

12 month age gap. Currently 3y4m and 4y4m.

Pros
They now sleep through.
Passed the baby stage quicker.
Similar development stage.
Same size clothing.
Entertain each other.

Cons
Both have reasoning of a young kid so fight with eachother.
Early waking
Having to constantly be on it.
Supervising two can be hard work.
Now very poor but looking forward to getting back into work

Heartofstrings Tue 04-May-21 14:16:50

They both napped at lunch for 2 hours

Greenmarmalade Tue 04-May-21 14:20:13

Cons:
Could be twins or triplets...
Lack of sleep is intensified
Childcare costs are huge
When they both cry and need you it’s really hard

Pros:
Can’t really compare so not sure.

Greenmarmalade Tue 04-May-21 14:21:44

...
Pros
They can enjoy similar activities together
You might get synchronised nap times
They can share toys and will sometimes play together

minniemomo Tue 04-May-21 14:22:07

2 years was hard work, added issue of sn though so dd2 overtook dd1 in many aspects

HiGunny Tue 04-May-21 14:35:55

My two boys are 18 months apart. It was physically hard in the first couple of years but they get on great and are so close now (7 and 8). My eldest still wasn't walking when DS2 was born so that could be a bit of a struggle at times. I kept DS1 in crèche for the first 6 weeks to make things a bit easier. As toddlers they did a lot of napping in the car as that was the only way to synchronise their naps 😄

The only other thing I found hard was the volume of nappy changing. Our bin used to weigh a ton every week 😳

DS2 has a very easygoing personality and worships his older brother so I think that made it a bit easier for me.

BabyB19 Wed 05-May-21 07:37:21

Thank you everyone for your replies!

OP’s posts: |
GenericUsername101 Wed 05-May-21 11:10:13

13 month gap here now 3 1/2 and 4 1/2 ish

Cons
Baby stage hard with 2
Need 2 of everything - cot, high chair etc
When they both have the same nap and bed times it can be hard to manage alone
Bickering because they both want the exact same thing....

Pros
Both still napping in the day = time to rest
They have the same routine once they're a bit older
Outings that cater for both are easy as the have similar physical abilities and interests
They love to play together and are on the same wavelength
Much use of places with 'under 3s free' policies 😁

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