Daytime sleep in almost 3 month old.

(20 Posts)
TheOceanClub Tue 04-May-21 09:58:44

My DS is 11 weeks old and for the past week or so has been refusing daytime naps. At night he’s brilliant - I swaddle him, he goes to his crib, sleeps well, no complaints. The daytime naps are what’s driving me crazy.
Most what he can manage is 1,5-2h max awake after that he start to cooing and generally you can see that he is getting tired. Making him sleep is easy, the problem is - he can’t stay asleep. I tried everything. Different places to sleep - his crib, our bed, Moses basket,in my arms,even BabyBjorn bouncer tho I know it’s not advisable to do that. I tried to to swaddle him,I tried different blankets,try to rock him to sleep, leave alone on his bed hoping (hahah) that he will magically fall asleep on his own, nothing. He closes his eyes, all good you think and then after 5-30 minutes he’s up again. Most what he can manage is 1h and that’s already a miracle. Usually it’s just maybe 1-2 30 minute naps and the sometimes he will stay up 3-5 hours between them because he just refuses to go down and then obviously he will get even more cranky and fussy and start crying.
I don’t know what else to do to make him sleep at daytime. You can clearly see he needs it, he’s tired but can’t stay asleep. My arms and legs are falling off already from waking miles around the house trying to rock him and all that works for 20 minutes maybe.
Haalp!

OP’s posts: |
TheOceanClub Tue 04-May-21 10:21:10

Like today for example - he woke up for the day at 7,had hes food,playtime, around 8:30 he was starting to yawn when picked up, rubbing he eyes, so rocked him to the sleep fairly easily. He managed to stay asleep exactly 3 minutes and then up again. I tried to rock him again, give him more milk,hes eyes half closed... Again the same - 5 minutes and he’s up again. So at the moment he’s been up 3,5 hours, clearly tired but I just can’t... I don’t have any patience left...

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Maggiesfarm Tue 04-May-21 10:42:37

Why are you so obsessed with him sleeping? Your baby will sleep when he needs to. You say that sometimes he sleeps for 1.5-2 hours during the day, that is good.

Each baby is an individual, there is no one rule fits all.

If he is happy, that is all that matters. Many three month old babies are quite alert and enjoy seeing what goes on around them.

TheOceanClub Tue 04-May-21 10:50:30

I’m a first time mum and obviously have no experience or any clear idea about anything really but if from 7am - 9:30pm he sleept only 3 hours together ( yesterday) that doesn’t sound quite right to me?! And clearly I can see he needs sleep, he is tired.. I’m not forcing to seep when he’s awake and playing.

OP’s posts: |
monkeyted Tue 04-May-21 11:09:54

@TheOceanClub I totally understand why it's driving you crazy! I've had two who have been exactly the same - between about 8 weeks and 5 months they've found it hard to stay asleep for naps, and it's really frustrating as you know they need it.

Both of mine did only 20-30 minute naps at this age, but by around 6 months they were able to stay asleep longer and things got much better. I think this is something to do with being able to link sleep cycles. So, whilst frustrating, I would be inclined to say hang in there, keep up what you're doing (as it's great that he's sleeping well at night) and eventually he should learn to stay asleep.

Having said that, sleeping for 20/30 minutes is different from sleeping only 3 minutes...when you say he stayed asleep for 3 minutes this morning - was that after you had stopped rocking him? If so then maybe try carrying for longer so he gets into a deeper sleep.

MotherPiglet Tue 04-May-21 11:14:43

Does he stay asleep if you hold him?

Have you read about the fourth trimester?

It's normal.

TheOceanClub Tue 04-May-21 11:22:38

monkeyted

*@TheOceanClub* I totally understand why it's driving you crazy! I've had two who have been exactly the same - between about 8 weeks and 5 months they've found it hard to stay asleep for naps, and it's really frustrating as you know they need it.

Both of mine did only 20-30 minute naps at this age, but by around 6 months they were able to stay asleep longer and things got much better. I think this is something to do with being able to link sleep cycles. So, whilst frustrating, I would be inclined to say hang in there, keep up what you're doing (as it's great that he's sleeping well at night) and eventually he should learn to stay asleep.

Having said that, sleeping for 20/30 minutes is different from sleeping only 3 minutes...when you say he stayed asleep for 3 minutes this morning - was that after you had stopped rocking him? If so then maybe try carrying for longer so he gets into a deeper sleep.

Yeah he has trouble with the sleep cycles I think After the first deep sleep phase of roughly 20-30 min comes the REM and boom he’s up and he won’t go down again for the next 3 or so hours no matter if I rock him or not. Is this one deep sleep phase is enough for his development?
But at night time he has no trouble with that

OP’s posts: |
TheOceanClub Tue 04-May-21 11:25:38

MotherPiglet

Does he stay asleep if you hold him?

Have you read about the fourth trimester?

It's normal.

If I hold him it’s usually the same thing - only one deep sleep phase of about 20-30 mins and after that he wakes up during the REM sleep and it’s not possible for him to get back again. So usually he does like 2-3 naps like this. 30 mins of deep sleep and up again

OP’s posts: |
Cherrytree1621 Tue 04-May-21 11:29:34

No advice, my 3 month old is the same though would nap on me for hours but when put in his moses basket he will sleep 30 mins 45 at a push. He also sleeps well at night so you're not alone.

Sls668 Tue 04-May-21 11:30:11

Unfortunately I can only echo the hat @monkeyted said. My baby is very nearly 6 months now and is only now just starting to sleep (sometimes!) for longer stretches. Do you use Huckleberry to see when to put baby down for a sleep? I found that was the best predictor of when she would need to sleep and would sleep ok! Naps are still all on me!
Try if possible not to spend your life obsessing over naps if you can. I just do what I need to do and baby often catches up on naps in the car or will fall asleep after a feed - it’s not perfect but it works for us. Some people go insane focusing on naps and it’ll just ruin your new baby experience.
Plus, if your night sleep is good, just enjoy that (especially as the 4 month sleep regression isn’t far around the corner.....!)

TheOceanClub Tue 04-May-21 13:15:46

Today he woke up 7:10 and now it’s 13:12. During these 6 hours he managed to do one 10 minute nap which is not enough and his behaviour is getting worse and worse ( obviously). He just can’t to stay asleep tho falls asleep easily.
I feel such a bad parent tbh and my patience is non existing at this point.

OP’s posts: |
ThatIsMyPotato Tue 04-May-21 13:18:24

When you say his behaviour is getting worse what is he doing?

Harrysmummy246 Tue 04-May-21 14:47:41

Sleep is sleep, however long it is. It is not detrimental to your child's development to have short naps.

He can't be 'behaving badly', he's a newborn....

It is very normal for babies to only nap a short while then need help again.

Vicky1989x Tue 04-May-21 16:28:35

My DD was the same - slept well at night but awake mostly all day except a few cat naps and was miserable. When I managed to get her to nap longer, her nighttime sleep went to poop 🤷🏼‍♀️

I used the Huckleberry app, which gave me sweet spot when to get her to sleep. She’d have 4 30 minute naps during the day which wasn’t enough, but it was better than nothing. I also done most of her naps in the pram.

Sls668 Tue 04-May-21 16:45:46

How long is his first wake window? I found, at that age, the first one was ridiculously short and if I missed it, it knocked all sleep out for the day. The first nap is the most important IMO

Maggiesfarm Tue 04-May-21 20:17:55

TheOceanClub

Today he woke up 7:10 and now it’s 13:12. During these 6 hours he managed to do one 10 minute nap which is not enough and his behaviour is getting worse and worse ( obviously). He just can’t to stay asleep tho falls asleep easily.
I feel such a bad parent tbh and my patience is non existing at this point.

I don't understand what you mean by his 'behaviour', he's a baby. I'm sure he is OK if you are engaging with him.

Namechange13101 Tue 04-May-21 20:30:13

My DS is 3 and a half months and has recently started crying in his sleep around the 10-20mins after falling asleep. It’s like he’s transitioning to a deep sleep because he has his eyes shut and it only happens for around 10-30seconds and he is then absolutely fast asleep again. When your DS wakes do you pick him up straight away or do you leave him for a minute to see if he settles back down?

Lemonelderflower Tue 04-May-21 20:36:09

Oh I sympathise OP, mine was a bad napper in the day.

He still isn’t amazing but at four and a half months is at least predictable.

I have found that when ds starts to stir rubbing his back and ‘ssshing’ encourages a longer nap. Also he will sleep for longer in the pram. He used to sleep peacefully in the sling but now is too nosy!

It’s really tough - you are NOT a crap parent at all flowers

FizzingWhizzbee123 Tue 04-May-21 20:38:30

Ha. Neither of my babies just slept when they needed to. They’d just get hysterically overtired and even harder to settle! I had to be very hot on their wake windows (around 1hr 30/45 mins at that age. Some people have babies who sleep when they want and can go with the flow. Definitely not all babies are like that.

3-4 months is a shitty age for sleep. They become more aware so get very alert, the maternal melatonin has worn off plus the sleep cycles start maturing. Cat naps will start and drive you crazy until they learn to link sleep cycles. It sounds like you might be a “lucky” one and your baby has started the 4 month sleep regression early. Both mine started around 11-12 weeks. I’m not going to lie, it was bumpy for a while. It’s also a perfectly normal (and frustrating) part of their brain development. It’s going to go up an down over the next 18 months so don’t expect baby sleep to stay constant.

All you can really do is keep trying, see what works for your baby (both mine like dark and white noise, sling worked well for a while too) and just try not to go too loopy in the interim. You can’t force a baby to sleep, you can just set up the best environment you can and hope for the best. Good luck!

Dryshampooandcoffee Tue 04-May-21 21:09:51

What you’ve described is almost exactly like my child. We employed a sleep consultant and they said that’s very very normal for a baby this age. My DC started doing 3 distinct naps around 6 months, then dropped to 2 naps at 10 months, and down to 1 long nap at about 14 months. Those short naps are really rubbish as they don’t allow you to do anything, but it will get better! A sleep cycle for a 3 month old is quite short, only about 25-40 minutes if I remember correctly, so shorter naps are ‘enough’

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